Archive - October, 2006

Something I Don’t Want to Lose

October 31, 2006 in Ministry, Spiritual Life with 8 Comments

This afternoon, I am going to hear Fred Craddock speak at Baylor University’s Truett Seminary.  Fred Craddock is not only one of my favorite preachers but has been someone from whom I have learned a great deal.  Several years ago, while he was still teaching at Emory University, I took a one week preaching seminar with him and another fine preacher, Thomas Long.  That week would have a positive impact on my preaching for many years.

 

Fred Craddock, in particular, has been helpful to many people in learning how to communicate to people who have heard it all before.  Perhaps these people grew up in church and are very familiar with much of the Bible.  (Yes, I realize that it is possible to grow up in church and be very unfamiliar with much of the Bible.) 

 

As a Christ-follower, sometimes things get a little too familiar.  A person can "settle in" with the Bible and the things of God and just get used to it all.  I can get used to all of this and lose something.

 

  • The Bible becomes familiar.
  • Church culture becomes familiar.
  • Sacred moments like baptism and the Lord’s supper become familiar.
  • Words — important words — become familiar.
  • The Christian story becomes familiar.

Anything wrong with familiarity?  No.  But, I might want to wave a yellow caution flag at this point.  (Or, maybe someone else should wave it while I try to pay attention to it as well.)  What I can easily do is reduce following Jesus to the familiar.  In very subtle ways, I begin to lose any sense of a childlike faith. 

 
This is what I don’t want to lose.

I don’t want to lose the dynamic of following Jesus every day in the ordinary moments of my life.  I want to still be drawn to Jesus much as a husband is still drawn to his bride after thirty years of marriage.  I want to keep Jesus before me as one who will lead me on an adventure through life.  I want to hold on to a simple, trusting faith even as I continue to gain more knowledge and awareness of him.

 

Many years ago, C. S. Lewis wrote in Mere Christianity:

 

This is why the real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it.  It comes the very moment you wake up each morning.  All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals.  And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in.  And so on, all day.  Standing back from all your natural fussings and fretting; coming in out of the wind.

 

We can only do it for moments at first.  But from those moments the new sort of life will be spreading through our system: because now we are letting Him work at the right part of us.  It is the difference between paint, which is merely laid on the surface, and a dye or stain, which soaks right through. 

 

Tip of the Week

October 30, 2006 in Spiritual Life with 11 Comments

Imagine forming your own personal advisory group for the sole purpose of helping you with your life.  

 

Suppose you could spend an evening with seven to ten people who would then become your personal advisory group.  These people might serve to lead, guide, and basically help you as you move through life.  Imagine having the opportunity to learn from these people.  

 

Now think about selecting this imaginary group.  There are no limitations.  These people can live nearby or far away.  Don’t worry about the logistics of getting these people together.  After all, this is imaginary.  Now choose each person based upon some particular aspect of your life that you need to address.   Some examples:

Your marriage.  Who would you like to have on this personal advisory group because of what you might learn about marriage?  Whose marriage do you especially admire?

 

Your money.  Who could teach you financial stewardship?  Who do you admire for the way they handle their money?  Who continually uses their money to help people or to fund other good causes?

 

Your time.  Is there a person you know who is living a rich, full life at 70?  Is there a person at that age who seems to epitomize the way you want to be at 70?  What person at that age continues to mature in Christ?

 

Your encouragement.  Who encourages you?  Who continues to build you?

 

Your walk with God.  Who has a relationship with God that you admire?  Have you noticed this person continues to stay fresh and alive in Christ while others get stale?  What is this person doing?  (Yes, I know that if you are a Christ-follower, you do not separate the other concerns above from your walk with God.  I am just focusing on a particular emphasis.)

 

Your attitude.  What person do you admire because of their attitude?

 

The point?  We can learn from others.  I find it very helpful to imagine such a group in my life.  (I suspect that some actually have formed such a group.)  These seven to ten people are men and women from whom I can learn.

 

Now think about an evening with this group.  The subject?  Your life.  Think about what you might ask these individuals.  Think about what they might say to you regarding particular aspects of your life. 

 

Who are a few people you would want in your personal advisory group?  Parents?  Friends?  A Christian author?  Someone you have admired at a distance?  Who have you admired?

Seven Sins of the Spiritual Life (Part 4)

October 30, 2006 in Spiritual Disciplines, Spiritual Life with 0 Comments

The following is a continuation of reflections by John of the Cross in Dark Night of the Soul.  This examines the fourth sin of the spiritual life.  The previous three were: pride, greed, and luxury.  Now he discusses the sin of spiritual wrath.

When the soul begins to enjoy the benefits of the spiritual life and then has them taken away, it becomes angry and embittered.  This is the sin of spiritual wrath, the fourth capital sin, and it, too, must be purged in the dark night.

 

When their delight comes to an end, these persons are very anxious and frustrated just as an infant is angry when it is taken away from its mother’s breast.  There is no sin in this natural disappointment, but if it is left to itself, it may become a dangerous vice.

 

There are some who become angry with themselves at this point, thinking that their loss of joy is a result of something they have done or have neglected to do.  They will fuss and fret and do all they can to recover this consolation.  They will strive to become saints in a day.  They will make all kinds of resolutions to be more spiritual, but the greater the resolution, the greater is the fall.

 

Their problem is that they lack the patience that waits for whatever God would give them and when God chooses to give.  They must learn spiritual meekness which will come about in the dark night.

 

(cited in Richard Foster’s, ed., Devotional Classics, p. 35) 

Reflecting on Marriage (Part 2)

October 27, 2006 in Family/Marriage with 11 Comments

expectations.jpgMany people live with disappointment.

 

In particular, many people live with disappointment in marriage.  I am not just referring to people whose spouses seem to have no real interest in the marriage or who have had affairs.  This behavior on the part of a spouse was not expected before marriage and is now so disappointing
and disheartening.  Right now, I am thinking of a more pervasive disappointment.  I am referring to a disappointment that is much more widespread.  Life — marriage in particular — just isn’t going the way this couple envisioned it.

 

We are breathing a cultural air that suggests that one ought to have it all — right now!  In fact, real living is to experience a "high" most of the time.  This thinking suggests that if the "high" is not present then something is wrong.

 

The truth is that there are great highs in marriage.  And — many, many people experience some lows.  Most of the time, however, a couple experiences something in between.  (I am not defining "in-between" as "boring" or "so-so."  I’m just saying that many, many couples will tell you that they generally are not on a high all the time.)  Many married people, however, practically demand that the "high" be almost constant in their marriage.

This husband or wife may begin to pressure one another to fix the situation.  In fact, they may look at one another not as the object of their love relationship but the source of their unhappiness.  ("If you would only get it together, then I would finally be happy.")  Then, the other person may dig in his heels and after a while, a cloud of bitterness and judgment permeates this home.  Meanwhile, it is very easy to compare this spouse with some guy/woman at the office.  With such a comparison, the spouse only seems more disappointing.

 

Some married people get focused on their disappointment in the sex in their marriage.  We live in a sexually charged culture.  On billboards, in magazine ads, and on television are all of these wonderful looking people.  This climate has a way of impacting our expectations.  Yet, what so often happens is that two very tired and exhausted married people come home and they may be doing well just to get through the evening.  One child needs help with his math homework while the other two are in a fight in their bedroom.  Finally it is time for bed.  This couple is exhausted!

 

Compound all of this with pornography.  Maybe a man is looking at pornography on the Internet, night after night.  Does that ever impact expectations!  Pornography is a playground of lies.   It has a way of feeding  disappointment.   Meanwhile, it encourages a man to take short-cuts and to focus on a perfect figure on his screen instead of loving his wife.  As a result, their love does not mature and remains stuck in his immaturity (fixated on porn).

 

Bottom line?  Grounding a marriage in cultural expectations will usually bring disappointment.  Jesus is the only one who doesn’t disappoint.  I must never expect my spouse to provide for me what only he can provide.  Meanwhile, I believe married people can experience real joy without expecting perpetual highs.

 

More later…
 

Seven Sins of the Spiritual Life (Part 3)

October 27, 2006 in Spiritual Disciplines, Spiritual Life with 0 Comments

The following is a continuation of a series.  This is an excerpt from the writing of John of the Cross in Dark Night of the Soul.  He is writing about the "seven capital sins" of the spiritual life.  First is pride, second is spiritual greed, and now he writes about spiritual luxury.  Of the seven sins he discusses, this is the one I probably had most difficulty connecting with.  Maybe that will not be true for you.

 

The third sin is spiritual luxury.  It is from this sin that all of the others proceed, and this sin is the most important.  Here is what happens: a soul that is deep in prayer may experience profound temptations and find itself powerless to prevent them.  Sometimes this even happens during holy communion or when saying confession.  This happens from one of three causes.

 

The first cause is the physical pleasure the body takes in spiritual things.  The lower part of our nature, the flesh, is sometimes stirred up during times of devotion.  But it cannot possess and lay hold upon the experience, so it begins to stir up what it can possess, namely, the impure and the sensual.

 

The second cause is the devil.  In order to disturb and disquiet the soul, the devil will try to stir up impurity within the soul, hoping that it will give heed to these temptations.  The soul will begin to fear these temptations and become lax in prayer, and if they persist, the soul may even give up on prayer altogether.

 

The third cause is an inordinate fear of impure thoughts.  Some souls are so tender and frail that they cannot stand such thoughts and live in great fear of them.  This fear in itself can cause their downfall.  They become agitated at the least disturbance and thus are too easily distracted.  

 

When the soul enters into the dark night, all these things are put under control.  The flesh will be quieted, the devil will be silent, and the fear will subside, all because God takes away all of the sensory pleasure and the soul is purified in the absence of it.

 

(Cited in Richard Foster’s (ed), Devotional Classics, p. 35) 

My Favorite Moments

October 26, 2006 in Church, Favorites, Ministry with 8 Comments

orange.jpgDo you have favorite moments?  Are there moments you look forward to and enjoy?  Or, are there memories you have of special moments?  I’m not talking about Super Bowl moments or once-in-a-lifetime vacation moments.  I am referring to moments that may seem ordinary but are actually very special.

 

Some of my favorite moments?

 

1.  When I come home at the end of a day.  I look forward to seeing my wife and then being at home with her.  At the end of a busy, stressful day, I like to go home and leave it all behind—or most of it anyway.  There is something I enjoy about finally closing the door at the end of a long day.

 

2.  When I get to see my children.  Tonight, our oldest daughter, Christine, will fly into Austin from Nashville and stay with us for a few days.  Charlotte and I will go to the airport and wait for the first sight of her as she gets off her plane.  It will be great!  Last weekend, our daughter Jamie came home from Oklahoma City.  It was a wonderful weekend as well.  I love these moments.

 

(When my children were small, one of my favorite moments was coming home at the end of the day.  I would open the door, step into the house and immediately hear the words, "Daddy, Daddy!  Daddy’s home!" as these little bodies would come running across the room.) 

 

3.  When I get to enjoy good friends.  That may be at lunch.  That may be an evening at dinner.  It may be seeing long time friends at a wedding in Abilene (last weekend).  Or, it may be at someone’s house when we go back to Alabama for Christmas. 

 

4.  When I see people who have experienced a tough life wanting to follow Jesus.  Last Sunday, I stood before our church and for a moment, I saw many, many people who have really had a tough life.  I noticed people who had experienced the following:

 

  • Disappointment. 
  • Cancer. 
  • Divorce.
  • Difficulties with children. 
  • Financial difficulties. 
  • Job loss.
  • Prison. 

    •  

I have always had a heart for people who have experienced a difficult time in life and yet who want to follow Jesus.  I have always been drawn to people who have made a lot of mistakes in life — people whose life has been spotted with much failure.  These people help remind me of how lavish God’s grace really is.

 

5.  When I witness the church acting like the church.  Last Sunday, a woman visited our assembly alone.  She has not lived in this area very long.  Near where she was sitting was another woman who had also come alone.   She went to where the other woman was sitting (just before the Lord’s Supper) and sat with her for the remainder of the service.  Neither one knew the other.  Then, the woman invited this new person to lunch where she met a number of people.  All of that meant a great deal to this guest.  (She told me yesterday.)

 

You probably have favorite moments as well.  These are a few that mean something to me.  For these, I am thankful.

 

Some of your favorite moments? 

 

Reflecting on Marriage (Part 1)

October 25, 2006 in Family/Marriage, Spiritual Life with 14 Comments

weddingrings.jpg(This is the first of several posts in which I plan to reflect on marriage.  Whether you are married or not, marriage itself is very important.  Some of my comments are the product of my own marriage.  I’ve been married 28 years.  Some comments are the result of talking with many, many people about their own marriages.  Then, there are some things I’ve learned from just watching other people in their marriages.)

 

Charlotte and I were married on August 11, 1978 in Florence, Alabama.  The night we got married, I didn’t have a clue what I was getting in to.  Neither did she.  In fact, no couple does.  Before I perform the wedding for a couple, I spend time with them.  They are normally in my office a number of times for pre-marital conversation and work.  Even then, they still do not fully realize what that marriage will be like.  That is life.

 

Our marriage has had its highs.  It has had its lows.  Mostly, it has had lots of in-betweens.  Much of life is somewhere between highs and lows.  I think that is normal.  What makes that in-between time very special is learning to practice covenant love.  In fact, I believe taking covenant love seriously serves to keep love alive and fresh within a marriage.

 

Now a few concerns.  I will elaborate on these in future posts.

 

1. Many people are living with a lot of disappointment in marriage.  Some of that disappointment goes way beyond marriage.  I have talked with many people who are disappointed in their lives in general.  Still others are disappointed in their mates or even in themselves.  Some of this disappointment is related to old hurts.  Some of it may be related to expectations.

 

2.  Many husbands and wives put a tremendous amount of pressure on these marriages.  We demand that our mates change.  ("If only she would get it together, I would finally be happy.")  Other people begin to look for someone else.  Maybe that someone else is found.  ("Why can’t my wife treat me like this?")  This man/woman begins to compare this other person with that frustrating spouse. 

 

3.  Many people are experiencing marriages where pornography is a factor.  Pornography rewards immaturity.  Pornography invites you into a world of perfection.  Perfect figure.  Perfect tan.  Perfect performance.  Perfect, high experience.   It  changes the expectations in a marriage. 

 

4.  Many Christians really need to bring Jesus into their homes.  A home doesn’t have to be reduced to a place where exhausted, joyless people gather at the end of the day.  I really believe he makes a home a refreshing place to be.

 

Are there other concerns you have that I haven’t mentioned? 

Seven Sins of the Spiritual Life (Part 2)

October 25, 2006 in Spiritual Disciplines, Spiritual Life with 2 Comments

John of the Cross (1542-1591) wrote in Dark Night of the Soul regarding the seven sins of the spiritual life.  After addressing pride, he moves on to greed.

Many of these beginners will also begin to have spiritual greed, the second capital sin.  They will become discontented with what God gives them because they do not experience the consolation they think they deserve.  They begin reading many books and performing many acts of piety in an attempt to gain more and  more spiritual consolation.

 

Their hearts grow attached to the feelings they get from their devotional life.  They focus on the affect, and not on the substance of devotion.  Quite often these souls will attach themselves to particular religious objects or holy places and begin to value visible things too highly.

 

But those who are on the right path will set their eyes on God and not on these outward things nor on their inner experiences.  They will enter the dark night of the soul and find all these things removed.  They will have all the pleasure taken away so that the soul may be purified.  For a soul will never grow until it is able to let go of the tight grasp it has on God.

 

(Cited in Devotional Classics, ed. Richard Foster, pp. 34-35)

Seven Sins of the Spiritual Life (Part 1)

October 24, 2006 in Spiritual Disciplines, Spiritual Life with 2 Comments

Dark Night of the Soul is a classic piece written by John of the Cross.  During the 16th century, John was known for his leadership abilities as well as his rigorous lifestyle.  He was named "John of the Cross" due to the suffering he endured in his life as well as his commitment to Christ.  The following addresses the first of the seven sins of the spiritual life.

Beginners in the spiritual life are apt to become very diligent in their exercises.  The great danger for them is to become satisfied with their religious works and with themselves  It is easy for them to develop a kind of secret pride, which is the first of the seven capital sins.

 

Such persons become too spiritual.  They like to speak of "spiritual things" all the time.  They would prefer to teach rather than to be taught.  They condemn others who are not as spiritual as they are.  They are like the Pharisee who boasted in himself and despised the publican who was not as spiritual as he.

 

The devil will often inflame their fervor so that their pride will grow even greater.  The devil knows that all of their works and virtues will become valueless and, if unchecked, will become vices.  For they begin to do these spiritual exercises to be esteemed by others.  They want others to realize how spiritual they are.  They will begin to fear confession to another for it would ruin their image.  So they soften their sins when they make confession in order to make them appear less imperfect….

(cited in Devotional Classics, ed. Richard Foster, p. 34.)

 

“I’m Going to Quit”

October 24, 2006 in Encouragement, Stress with 6 Comments

felt_tip.jpgThat is exactly what I said when I was a junior at The University of North Texas.

 

"I’m going to quit." 

 

I was tired of school.  I was working late nights at United Parcel Service and then getting up in time for 8:00 classes each morning.  My grades were not good.  So I decided I was going to quit college.  I thought about some people I knew who were not college graduates.  They seemed to be doing well.  I rationalized as I thought about others who had graduated from college and had difficulty getting a job.

 

So, one day I skipped classes and drove to Dallas determined to do something else with my life.  First, I interviewed at a radio announcer school.  Seemed like a great job to me.  Then, the guy who interviewed me told me how difficult it was to break in to a major market like Dallas-Fort Worth.  He told me that it is very, very difficult to ever move beyond a very small radio station.  (I think I had in mind replacing my favorite announcer on the Dallas station I listened to!)  Hmmm.  "I need to think about this." 

 

Next, I drove to the Dallas Police Department in downtown Dallas.  I told the man at the desk that I wanted to apply to be a police officer.  He led me to a small office and said that a sergeant would be with me in a few minutes.   I filled out a preliminary application.  Then, the sergeant walked in.  He was African-American, late 50s, much gray hair, and was smoking a pipe.  He asked me about school.  I told him that I was a junior at North Texas and that I was quitting.   He looked at me in this fatherly way and said, "Son, why don’t you just finish school.  Then if you are still interested, come back and see me."

 

That is what I did.  And, I am so glad I did. 

 

I am so grateful for a very wise police sergeant.  Looking back, I wish I had asked others for their advice or counsel.  I didn’t.  In fact, that never even occurred to me.  I was very stubborn and really didn’t consider that others might know more about this than me.  I didn’t realize until later that the value of a college education goes way beyond the way I was thinking.  I was floundering and without any direction.

 

Through the years, I’ve tried to handle my uncertainties, my frustrations, and my need for direction in a much different manner.  I have sought the counsel of people who have been more than willing to help me think through my past, present, and future.  I have found that many people are more than willing to help, if I will just ask.

 

To this day, there are times when I just don’t know what to do.  That is life.  What I am trying to avoid, however, is compounding my problems by making rash or unnecessarily quick decisions.  Far better to spend time in prayer, seeking God in all of this.  Far better to seek the counsel of some who might be farther down the road in this area.  Far better to think through the situation and then trust the Lord.  In many ways, I am still learning.  But hopefully, I am coming at these frustrations better than I did at one time. 

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