Archive - January, 2008

If I Could Start Over (part one)

January 30, 2008 in Church, Ministry with 28 Comments

coffee19.jpgThere are some realities about ministry with and to a church that I wish I had known thirty years ago.  Much of what I have learned about congregational ministry came through study, reflection, and thinking.  Yet, on another level, I have learned so much through the daily experience of this work.  

 
The following are some truths that I have learned about this kind of pastoral ministry after thirty years of working with churches.  If I could start over with what I know now:

 
1.  I would know that it is critical that I love the congregation.  There is no substitute for loving these people.

 
2.  I would know that all ministry is service.  It is first service to God on behalf of people.  Today, ministry is often reduced to a career in which the language of the marketplace has become more pronounced while far too often the notion of a calling has become diminished.

 
3.  I would know that my prayer life and daily time in Scripture are critical to my ministry.  In fact, these and other spiritual disciplines are incredibly important for anyone who wants to remain fresh for the long haul.

 
4.  I would know that reading thoughtful, challenging books, articles, etc. is extremely helpful to ministry.  Reading that helps me understand Scripture and the church and broadens and deepens my thinking is invaluable.

 
5.  I would know that the evil one wishes to destroy every good thing that happens in the life of the church.  It seems that his work is generally focused on corrupting our hearts and consequently diminishing our love for Jesus and other believers in the body of Christ.  

 
6.  I would know that dealing with the negative emotional baggage in my life can be an incredible blessing to my family and to the church.  Far too many churches suffer from leaders who have never dealt with their anger, their loss, and their sense of inadequacy.

 
(more later…) 

41 Things Encouragers Ought to Know (part one of four)

January 29, 2008 in 41 Things... with 14 Comments

Cup_of_Coffee.GIFDo you desire to be an encourager to others?  Do you want to make a real difference with others?  The following is a list of 41 things that might be helpful to know if you desire to live as an encourager.

 
1.  Know that your smile really makes a difference.  God can use you to actually brighten someone’s day through your smile.

 
2.  Know that many people are just one step away from significant life change.  That difference may come in the form of God using you to encourage.

 
3.  Know that God uses encouragers who are single and married, rich and poor, and old and young.  Never assume that God will not use you to significantly encourage someone because you appear to be so different from that person.

 
4.  Know that an encouraging word can make an incredible difference to someone who is discouraged.  Meanwhile, a negative or harsh word might crush another and be remembered for many, many years.

 
5.  Know the encouragement that someone receives from another can actually alter the course of one’s life.  Such encouragement can help give a person the courage to make a difficult decision.

 
6.  Know that Barnabas (in the book of Acts) was called the "son of encouragement" and played a critical role in encouraging others in the earliest churches.

 
7.  Know that an encourager tries to catch another person doing right and affirms that person.  (Don’t worry, there will always be people around who are trying to catch people doing the wrong thing.)

 
8.  Know that the role of encourager is about cheering other people on.  Think about how good it feels to know that someone is in your corner, cheering you on, and wanting you to do well.

 
9.  Know that an encourager avoids one of the most deadly responses that people can make: silence.  I wonder how many people have worked hard and made themselves vulnerable only to be met with a chilly silence by the people who matter most.

 
10.  Know that the encouragement you give may seem unimportant.  In fact, you may be unaware of how important it is.  I was in my early years of college when I going through a rough period spiritually.  I recall a man at the church where I grew up who would notice me whenever I was there.  He didn’t say anything particularly memorable or profound.  He would look at me when I came through the front doors and smile and wave.  On most occasions he would shake my hand.  As I look back, I think his attention gave me some encouragement.

Laugh at Yourself

January 28, 2008 in Relationships, Spiritual Life with 10 Comments

coffee18.jpgSunday morning, we recognized all of the babies who were born in 2007, along with their families.  (This is an annual event in our church.)  As I read the name of each baby, the family came to the front to receive flowers and a copy of our family covenant.  It went smoothly for the most part.  Well, almost.  I did refer to two different children by the wrong gender.  (I referred to a boy as a daughter and then I referred to a daughter as a son.)  Hmmmm.

 
After church, one woman, a friend of ours, told me how much she liked that — mistakes and all.  She wasn’t the only one who seemed to enjoy the mistakes.  I learned a long time ago that the best thing to do is to just laugh.  I have also learned that for some reason people often feel closer to me after some kind of mistake. I suspect it is because I seem even more human — like them.

 
Have you ever known someone who would not laugh at himself?  I know a man like this.  He is a good man.  However, he takes himself very seriously.  When he makes a mistake in front of me or someone else, he will not laugh at himself.  It becomes an awkward moment.  Consequently, many people just do not feel comfortable around the man.  It is unfortunate because he has a lot to offer.

 
I know another person who loves to laugh but he too will not laugh at himself.  On one occasion I saw a good friend of his tease him in a lighthearted way.  The man immediately attacked his friend with some sort of put-down.  Again, it was an awkward moment. 

 
I wonder about the professor, the minister, the mother or father who cannot laugh at themselves.  What if they were to simply laugh at their silly mistakes?  I suspect that others would feel even more endeared to them.  I suspect their friends and colleagues would enjoy knowing that their teacher/preacher/friend is "just like me."  

 
I do know a number of people who laugh at themselves.  People love to be in their presence.  Can you think of someone like this?
 

  • I think of my friend, a college professor and scholar, who is always saying, "Let’s keep it fun."  He not only can be very lighthearted but also very honest about some silly things he has done.
  • The other day, a friend of mine told me about hitting a median while driving his car one night.  He ruined all four wheels and all four tires.  (It was a very large median.)  He felt silly but did not hesitate to share that story.
  • My friend, who is a stockbroker, is a wonderful storyteller and regularly tells stories about something he did that was hilarious.
  • We were at dinner the other night with good friends.  He is a wonderful storyteller who enjoys laughing and who does not hesitate to laugh at himself. 

I have tried to pay attention to these examples.  Many years ago, I was with a couple one evening and witnessed a humiliating moment.  In an effort to be funny, this man made a very critical remark about his wife.  It was an embarrassing moment for her though she nervously laughed.  After witnessing this incident and a few others, I decided that I never wanted to tell a story or make a remark in front of people that could humiliate my wife or children.  Consequently, I am careful not to tell stories about silly things they have done.  I do tell stories about silly things I have done.  (There are plenty!)

 
Laughing at yourself can be a helpful discipline that can keep you from being overly serious about yourself.  It can also be a blessing in relationships.  You may find that people will often connect with you because you seem so real and human.

 
What do you think?  Can you recall a time when someone laughed at themselves and you realized just how much you enjoyed that person?  

Odds and Ends

January 26, 2008 in Spiritual Life with 6 Comments

coffee.jpgToday, I have been reading large sections of John Stott’s new book, The Living Church.  I will post about this fine book next week.

 
If you are fairly new to this blog, you might want to browse through My del.icio.us on the sidebar.  These are websites and other materials that I have tagged by topic.  You might enjoy looking at some of these.

 
Most of what you see on my sidebar are sites I actually use.  I have the various news sites listed because I regularly skim these, paying attention to the titles of articles and subjects of headlines.  You will also notice that I have listed a number of book review sites.  I regularly read reviews just to be aware of what is being written and what many people are reading.  (It doesn’t take but one trip to Barnes & Noble for me to feel completely overwhelmed at the sheer number of books being published.)

 
The section that is titled "Just for Fun" simply reflects a few things I like.  For instance, the three sports sites listed are where I typically go to look for a score or read about a game.

 
The coffee cups on most posts reflect what I am often doing when I write.  I usually attempt to write something that might encourage someone.  I suspect that I often write because it helps me discover what I am thinking or feeling.

 
Finally, I read each one of your comments.  I read the e-mails you send.  I am thankful that you choose to read this blog.

Begin with Emptiness

January 25, 2008 in Spiritual Disciplines with 6 Comments

coffee11.jpgIn a recent issue of "Heart-to-Heart" (published by Richard Foster’s Renovare ministry), Foster and Christopher Webb discuss the book Deep-Rooted in Christ: The Way of Transformation by Joshua Choonmin Kang.  The following is from the discussion:

If I had to pick out one aspect of this book that will probably stay in my mind for some time, it’s Pastor Kang’s uncompromising clarity about our purpose and calling.  We don’t practice the disciplines to become spiritual giants, holy men and women of renown.  We’re not on some sacred self-improvement program.  Instead, ‘Jesus is the goal for all believers.’  Our aim is to crucify ourselves that Christ can live in and through us — a calling to death before resurrection — which is perhaps why Deep-Rooted opens with some very courageous and uncomfortable words: ‘Begin with emptiness.’  We’re so often encouraged to be filled, to be blessed, to receive all we can from God.  I think it’s a hallmark of Pastor Kang’s gospel-grounded teaching that he draws us back instead to self-sacrifice, to renunciation, to the cross.  But that’s very hard in practice, don’t you think?  (Christopher Webb) 

Foster and Webb close their discussion of this book by quoting several paragraphs from the book.  The following is one of my favorites:

 
"It is my prayer that as you read this book you will become a person who pursues character before success, integrity before popularity, maturity before growth and service to others before accomplishment in your own life."  (Kang)

Stay Fresh

January 23, 2008 in Spiritual Life with 4 Comments

coffee_cup_2.jpgA few weeks ago, I was walking by a mirror one day and saw a brown spot on the tip of my nose.  I wiped it with a wet paper towel and it came off immediately.  I didn’t know what it was.  I assumed that I had touched something, perhaps a piece of chocolate, and somehow smeared it.  Then yesterday, I walked by the mirror and saw that it was there again.  It dawned on me what it was.  I had been drinking coffee from a travel cup that morning, and I remembered feeling the top of the cup as it touched my nose.

 
It makes me just a little nervous to think that I had been walking around that morning (in and out of a few stores) and everyone had seen the brown spot.  Meanwhile, I didn’t have a clue.

 
Likewise, it would make me nervous if I were growing stale, it was obvious to everyone, and yet I didn’t know it.

 
What happens when a person becomes stale?
 

  • That person may not know it even though that is a reality of his life.
  • That person may know it and just not care.
  • Through laziness, indifference or arrogance, he may choose to coast.

What does a stale person look like?
 

  • A stale person might be in a rut. 
  • A stale person might sing one verse repeatedly and practice singing one note for years.  Perhaps you’ve known people like this.  At one point in their lives they grew and learned and became passionate about their knowledge.  It was like they discovered gold and so they sat down in a mental/spiritual recliner for the rest of their lives. 
  • A stale person might be stuck in his/her reaction to some troubling event in their lives.  They never quite learned to move on.  Rather, they continue to react.  I remember a former minister who one time told me that he wanted to stamp out legalism in his new church.  The only problem with this is that his new church had long moved past the kinds of issues about which he was talking.  Yet, he was still reacting to his first frustrating ministry with a local church.
  • A stale person might get stuck in her earlier years (as she remembers them).  She feels as if she has already experienced the best years of her life.  When she sees her daughters, she only talks about their high school years, their dates, etc. 

What can a person do?
 

1.  Seek out people who seem fully alive and have something to offer.  PAY ATTENTION to these people.  What are they doing that is so different from those people who are in ruts and have basically shut down?

 
2.  Learn something new today.  Read a book of the Bible you are unfamiliar with.  Take a new route to work.  Order something different at the restaurant.  Watch a program on television that will teach you something.  

 

3.   Ask questions.  A new friend of mine traveled throughout the state interviewing various men and women.  He asked them questions about life, marriage, family, and ministry.  I am impressed!  You don’t have to travel across the state to do this.  Select a few people in your community and meet them for coffee/lunch.  Take notes.

 
4.  Deliberately, intentionally do good for someone today.

 
What has helped you stay fresh over the long haul?

Don’t Overlook the Ordinary

January 22, 2008 in Ministry with 11 Comments

images.jpgI’ve been thinking a lot about ordinary ministry lately.  I don’t mean ministry as a career or professional task.  Right now I am thinking of ministry as it might have been among the earliest Christians as they met in one another’s homes.  I am thinking of ministry as we are gifted and then empowered by the Holy Spirit to serve people.

 
I am not sure why I am giving this so much thought right now.  Maybe it is the way that we have complicated things.  Anyway, I am sitting here with a freshly brewed cup of coffee and listening to the "Whisperings" station on iTunes.  In the last forty-eight hours, I have been with a longtime mentor of mine, in his home.  Later in the day, I spent a wonderful couple of hours with a new friend.  There was something about both of these conversations that reminded me of the importance of the simplicity of ministry.

 
Anyway, here is what I am thinking.

 
It seems to me that far too many of us believe that most of the action in a church is on Sunday and the real ministry of that church is tied up in its various organized ministries.   Now Sunday mornings are very important in the life of a church.  The various organized ministries of a church can be very, very important as well.  People are blessed and good things happen because men and women are willing to work together in these ministries.

 
What concerns me is there is often not a sense of real ministry taking place during the week. My concern is that quite often people on Sunday morning are not leaving these church buildings with a sense of leaving to minister.  Yet, the truth is, these men and women are going to factories, offices, and school buildings with opportunities to minister to others.  Every week there are wonderful moments in which we have the opportunity to be a part of an international ministry.  

 
What if we had no organized ministries as a church?  What if we had no church building?  Could we really make a difference in our communities?  Now I am not proposing that we do away with these organized ministries or our church buildings.  I am suggesting that God is not dependent on such things to make a difference.  I am saying that a group could exist as a church and go into the community under the power and leading of the Spirit and know that significant ministry can happen.  God continues to gift and empower and make a difference even though we may wonder if it is possible.

 
Some of the most important ministry happens during the week in law offices, school buildings, and retail stores.  Significant ministry may be happening in your time with another at Starbucks or at lunch.  It may be happening at your kitchen table as you talk with one of your children.  God has empowered and equipped us to be used by him to make a difference during the week. 

 
Who is a person whose ministry to you has made a significant difference?  Where did much of this ministry take place?  What can be done to affirm and encourage the ministry of ordinary people during the week? 

“After All, We Are Ministers”

January 21, 2008 in Spiritual Life with 6 Comments

12_3_cup_of_coffee.jpgI was a senior at the University of North Texas.  My friend Steve, also a college student, and I were going to Baylor Hospital in Dallas to visit a friend.  Even then, the hospital was a sprawling complex.    As we got near the hospital, we pulled into a parking lot designated "Minister Parking."  My friend said that we ought to park there (which we did).  "After all," he said, "we are ministers."

 
Now my friend was a college student and so was I.  He planned to be a schoolteacher.  I was working for United Parcel Service and intended to go into management after graduation.  Ministers?  My friend reminded me that is what our preacher had said in one of his sermons.  He said, "All Christians are ministers."  Years later, I am still thankful for his reminder.

 
Several years ago, in an article entitled "Understanding Vocation: Discerning and Responding to God’s Call" (Leaven, Vol. 11, Number 1, First Quarter 2003, p. 49), Don Thompson and Cindy Miller-Perrin wrote:

 

 
… In understanding one’s vocational callings, then, the key question is, "What am I supposed to do with my life?"  Paul addresses this very question in I Cor. 15:58: "…be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the work of the Lord, because you know that in the Lord your labor is not in vain."  Here the focus is on the work of the Lord.  Work in this context is not necessarily equivalent to job or career.  Vocation, broadly defined, refers to one’s lifework, a term coined by Harvey Huntley — in his chapter in Connections Between Spirit and Work in Career Development — to include any human activity that gives meaning, purpose, and direction to life (eds. Deborah Bloch and Lee Richmond, Palo Alto: Davies-Black, 1997).

 

Exactly!  When you and I go about our lives as if it ALL is for the Lord, we are living out our calling.  

 
Ministry is not a profession that one can turn on or turn off at 5:00 p.m.  Ministry is all of life.  Ministry is what you and I do as we teach school, raise our children, meet with a co-worker, etc.  It is what you and I do as we live out our entire lives before the Lord and offered up to him.

 
What practical difference might this understanding make upon our lives?   

What You Do Really Matters

January 17, 2008 in Spiritual Life with 11 Comments

coffee4.jpgI’ve felt as if it didn’t.  I’ve felt at times as if what I was doing really didn’t matter.

 
Have you ever felt this way?
 

  • I have felt as if I wasn’t a good enough preacher.  "If only I were a better speaker…"
  • I have felt as if my church wasn’t large enough.  "If only I were at the church of my dreams, then…"
  • I have felt as if I wasn’t very important.  "If I were important, then I would have the opportunity to…"
  • I have felt as if my work was not all that significant.  I remember feeling some jealousy when my friend spoke of some who were "…in the influential pulpits."  "If only my work could be important then…"

 
Maybe, just maybe, you have never had similar feelings.  Maybe you have never wrestled with your ego.  Maybe you have always felt secure.  If this is true, thank God.

 
I hope — I really hope — that I have moved past a lot of these feelings and thoughts.  (I say this with some tentativeness for fear that I fall into the same worn-out trap again.)

 
I want to live right now with the same fresh spirit and energy that I had when I first began my work as a minister.  I do not want to be focused on myself, or the scorecard, or who seems to be ahead, etc.  Rather, I want to be focused on my vocation or my calling before God.  I want to believe that if my work is offered up to the Lord, then it is significant ministry.  I want to always believe that God does not measure things the way we do.  Rather, he is the God who is able to make much out of little.  He feeds thousands with five loaves of bread and two fish.  He is the God who blesses the most unassuming ministry and turns it into a powerful force for his purposes.   

 
Have you ever felt this way about your life and ministry?  Have you ever fought the insecurity of feeling as if your ministry was inferior to that of others?

What Is Your Vocation?

January 16, 2008 in Spiritual Life with 20 Comments

coffee11.jpgI have been a Christian for a number of years.  As a child, I recall that people would refer to some people as "workers" in the church.  It seemed that this usually referred to people who did some kind of work either in or around our church building.  For years, at the church where I grew up, my mother "did the bulletin," running the bulletin off on a mimeograph machine.

 
The mimeograph machines are gone, but there are still plenty of people doing one task or another inside church buildings.  Thank God for these people.  Every week we have scores of people (volunteers) in our building doing this or that task.  If you were to look at our church calendar or even walk down the hallways of our building, you would know that we are a very busy, active church.

 
Recently, I was in a conversation with a very good friend in which he talked about the frustration with many churches that will not affirm, equip, and bless the idea that living out our vocations is actually ministry.  In other words, in the eyes of many, ministry seems to be church activity.  If one is involved in an organized church activity or ministry, then one is ministering to others.

 
I think my friend is right.  One can go to work, do quality work for others, and be in service to other men and women every day.  That is ministry.  That kind of ministry is every bit as legitimate as what might be done in the confines of a church building.  Now I don’t want to minimize the value of what good men and women do every day in church buildings all over the world as they seek to do good for others.  Yet, neither do I want to minimize the value of one’s calling lived out in service to God.

 
What do you think?  In what way could churches affirm, support, and recognize the ministry that takes place each day as men and women live out their vocations?

 
I like these words written a few years ago by Rick Marrs in an article entitled "Calling or Career" in Leaven Journal (Vol. 11, Number 1, First Quarter 2003):


The Old Testament concept of vocation was as radical then as now.  In a world given to self-absorption, human self-interest, and an overwhelming human tendency to define oneself independently of any other (a tendency that creates anxiety about the meaning of life and a purposeful future), the Old Testament presents us with a decidedly different view of humanity.  The Old Testament defines human life quintessentially in relation to God.  The world we inhabit reflects the loving imprint of a creator fundamentally for us, a creator who longs to be in relationship with us.  Because God acts with intent and purpose, human life necessarily has intent and purpose.

Page 1 of 212»