In front of me are the first two issues of a new journal. The
journal is entitled "Journal of Spiritual Formation and Soul Care."
One of the first articles I read was by Keith Meyer (Church of the
Open Door, Maple Grove, Minnesota). Meyer wrote a few paragraphs that I
found nourishing and encouraging. For example:
I now teach pastors that
formation is essential because your life is your ministry and your
ministry is your life. It is not just a prerequisite for ministry or a
condition for ministry or a line on your resume or on a job description
calling for character. In my ministry to pastors and leaders at our
church this is a great leveler between clergy and laity. Although
giftings, office, and call are important, they are not as important as
the authority of your life and its transformational power. (p. 226)
Yes!
I read this quote once and then read it again. I highlighted it in yellow and came back to it once again. My life is my ministry and my ministry is my life. I am called to live out of my own authentic life in Christ. This speaks volumes as to who I am called to be before Christ and the world.
I am not called to live a transformed life because it looks good on my resume or because it makes a difference in the quality of my preaching/teaching. I am not interested in spiritual transformation because this seems to be the thing to do if I am going to stay current. The point of a transformed life is not to get me somewhere in my work with a church.
The reality? Every man and woman in Christ is called to live out of an authentic life in Christ. This life is my ministry. My ministry is my life. This morning as you are at home with your family, your ministry is already happening. As you go to work, your ministry is already being lived out. Your ministry is happening wherever and whenever you live and are present in another’s life.
Ministry does not begin with an assignment at church. It does not begin when you take on a program or a "ministry" at church. Ministry does not begin when you have an office in your church building or when you keep office hours. Ministry does not begin when you have a church leadership role or even some kind of authority that seems to go with your "ministry." Ministry does not begin when you are the center of attention at church.
Some people who talk about authority in the church, in reality, have such little true authority because of the massive gap between the reality of their own lives and what they want to project before others. Meyer is correct. The authority of one’s own life and its transformational power are critical.
The good news?
The fulfillment that one finds in such ministry is not grounded in success, statistics, visibility, or some stroke of the ego. The real fulfillment of such ministry is in finding satisfaction in God alone.
What do you think? What difference might such a perspective make in various churches?
I have found each one of these to be very important not only to one who
might serve a church in some role of ministry but also to any Christian
in his or her daily ministry.
21. Work to stay aware of both your thinking and feelings. If you are not aware of what seems to be on your mind, you might ask your spouse or co-workers about recurring themes they have noticed in your conversation. Also, you might try journaling. One of the reasons that I have written in a journal for so many years is that often I will not realize what I am thinking or feeling until I write. (A blog such as this probably can serve the same purpose.)
22. Avoid shortcuts. Do not dodge the challenging books or tedious study just because you are out of seminary. Yes, read for fun. Yes, read for inspiration. However, read something to help you think.
23. Learn to laugh at yourself! When people feel comfortable with you, they may begin to tease you. (I am teased, for instance, about the many, many times that I have misplaced my keys.) Don’t allow your insecurities to turn these moments into something awkward.
24. Learn how to function within a system. Often, people who have been a part of a system for many years will not see its dysfunction. Using sarcasm or fussing at them are not the keys to getting them to change. Be a student of the system in which you work. (You might read P. Steinke, E. Friedman, and others on this.)
25. Each weekend, take time to review the previous week. Pray about the previous week and the upcoming week. Review all of your to do lists, your project lists, and your calendar. (David Allen’s book, Getting Things Done, has been very helpful to me in this regard.)
26. Take care of your body. The whole person needs care and preventive maintenance. It is amazing how some of us can be so attentive to our souls and then ignore or even mistreat our bodies. We are whole persons.
27. Express gratitude to people. Thank those who in some way have contributed to your own well being.
28. Develop at least some friends outside your congregation. This is one of the most important things that I have learned in the last twenty years of ministry. These friendships have nurtured and encouraged me in many ways.
29. Beware of sabotage. Edwin Friedman (Generation to Generation) taught that when you are in a dysfunctional system and yet behave as a healthy person, someone will attempt to sabotage you. This is not a reason to be paranoid. It does suggest that this behavior might be expected at some point. (For example, this often happens in churches through passive aggressive behavior.)
30. Pay attention to people. Nothing can surpass the value of being an attentive listener. Far too many of us talk way too much and listen far too little. Begin by showing your genuine interest in another person.
What would you like to add to this list?
We are just a few weeks away from 2009, a new year. For many people, a new year is a time of beginning again and starting over. For some it is a time to rethink our health, our priorities, and the overall way in which we approach life.
I would like to speak to our church family regarding the new year and the opportunities and possibilities it brings. What do you think might be helpful or even important in thinking about the near year? What could be addressed that you might find helpful?
Your comment or reply will be very helpful to me.
Sometimes I worry.
I don’t think that I live each day in worry. But — I do know how to worry. Sometimes I notice that these worries seem to stand in line waiting for me to examine each one. One by one they parade in front of me, each one of them demanding time, space, and energy. Each one seems to be clamoring for my attention. I think about one of these and plan to move on to something else when another worry pops up demanding its own place in my mind.
Does this sound familiar to you? I suspect it does, at least to some of you.
I decided one day to write down every worry that I saw in the parade. I’ve got a list of them. In front of me at this moment is a "worry list" written in my journal. My worry list was not difficult to write. I encourage you to do this sometime. Just list everything that you see in your parade of worries.
Now maybe some of these are not in your parade, but I suspect that many of them are. Write down your worries. Be brief but specific.
The other day I was with a good friend at lunch and he said, "You know fear and faith always point to the future." He went on to say, "Fear anticipates the future. So does faith." Hmmm. In other words both of these are connected in some way to our view of the future.
Then I read Psalm 33. The author praises God for who he is. In particular, I like these lines:
4 For the word of the LORD is right and true;
he is faithful in all he does.
5 The LORD loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love.
Faithful. The Lord is faithful. When everything around me is uncertain, unpredictable, changing, and unstable, God is faithful. He is like the house in the middle of the hurricane that stands firm while everything else is blown away. He is like the mighty oak tree. He is stable, secure, and solid.
If I am living in him and he is living in me, my life takes on his stability and security. I become more and more solid. All of this is happening because I am holding on to God who is stable, secure, and solid. My life begins to take on more and more of his character.
Consequently, when my parade of worries begins, I want to focus on the one who is faithful instead of watching the parade. I want to place my life in his hands. If I focus on my parade of worries, fear will rule me. Fear will always paint a bleak picture of the future. I want to instead put my faith in the faithful one. I want to put my faith in the Lord who will never leave me or forsake me.
Maybe this will help you today. Maybe you too have a parade of worries that is demanding your attention. Keep your eyes focused on the one who is faithful. Hold on to the one who is your help, shield, and hope.
Psalm 33 closes with these words:
20 We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.
21 In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.
We have talked one time before. I have agreed to do some premarital work with them. I explained when we first met together that we would need to meet for a minimum of four times and perhaps more. I then ask them, "So why do you want to get married?" The conversation begins.
For a number of years, I have been participating in weddings. I have married people in large church buildings and in small church buildings. I have married people in a university chapel, a classroom, a park, an apartment, a home, and my office. Weddings occur in a variety of places and settings. Yet, one common factor with each of these weddings is that we have shared conversations together about life, marriage, and what it means to be a married person and a Christ-follower.
Perhaps I have learned more than anyone else from these conversations. As a married person, I continue to learn much about marriage from year to year.
I would like to spend some time on this blog reflecting on what one might think about before marriage. Perhaps you are single and are nowhere near marriage. I want to invite you to listen in. I certainly don’t have all the answers. However, I have learned some of the important questions. You may be a parent, an aunt or uncle, or just a friend of a couple. Hopefully, there will be something for you as well.
I am thinking specifically of two Christians who are considering marriage. For a number of reasons, I want to make the assumption that both of these people would at least wear this label. This is often where things get "interesting."
For instance, she may be very serious about following Jesus as a disciple. However, he may only wear "Christian" as kind of a label, sort of like a box that is checked when you are filling out a form of some kind. It may or may not have any practical meaning in his life. (Yes, it could be the guy who is more serious about discipleship.) Consequently, as they anticipate their marriage, there may be the unspoken assumption that life will be a certain way because of this commitment to Jesus. Meanwhile, the other person may anticipate no real implications whatsoever.
Here are just a few issues that I hope to weave into this conversation:
Hopefully, these next posts will reflect some of these concerns.
What are some conversations that ought to take place between two Christ-followers long before they are engaged?
In a chapter entitled "Acknowledging Our Shadow Selves," Hudson writes about the tendency in many Christian circles to acknowledge only the acceptable selves:
Within conventional Christian circles there is a widespread tendency to acknowledge only the acceptable selves. Those considered unacceptable are usually either neglected or rejected. This way of denial, as we shall see later, has destructive consequences. Most tragic of all is that large tracts of our inner life are prevented from experiencing God’s transforming friendship. Conversion can only continue as we acknowledge these shadow selves and expose them to the light of God’s love. (p. 79)
These questions are by no means an exhaustive list. They are just a beginning.
What other questions would you add to these?
The following is the continuation of a list I have written regarding what ministers need to know. (You can read part 1 here.) I have found each one of these to be very important not only to one who might serve a church in some form of ministry but also to any Christian in his or her daily ministry.
11. Be very careful about how you use humor. Yes, humor is a wonderful part of life. I enjoy laughing. Laughter can be a wonderful break from much of the heaviness of life. Yet, a person needs to be careful about laughing at someone else’s expense. Consider, instead, telling stories of your own blunders, your own silliness, and your own mistakes.
12. Avoid self-pity. Some ministers speak of themselves and their work as if they are the only ones who work hard. Yet, you are not the only one who has a challenging schedule. Many in your congregation work very hard as well.
13. Read! Read for comfort. Read to be challenged. Read to exercise your brain. Read for the purpose of staying fresh and current. Read for the pure enjoyment of reading. Yes, some of us will read more than others. Yet, I really believe that reading can be a very helpful discipline.
14. Know that you are not indispensable. Be careful about taking
yourself too seriously. Some ministers behave as if the church could not do without them. Yet, the truth is that if you were to die tomorrow, the congregation would continue. Life would continue. Ministry would happen. Our dependence is not to be on ourselves but on God who is the great power behind any authentic ministry.
15. Guard your words. Think about your words before you speak. Do you protect what others tell you? When someone tells
you something, it is critical that you keep that person’s trust. Sometimes, I will ask myself before speaking in a conversation, "If the person about whom I am about to speak knew what I had said, would he/she be surprised or hurt? Would that person feel betrayed by me?"
16. Cultivate and nurture your friendships. Friends are so important. Good friends have a way of replenishing a person’s soul. Sometimes, my days are very, very stressful. I have found that a brief phone call to a friend or lunch with a friend can be refreshing, like a mini-vacation in the middle of the day.
17. Remember that there is no substitute for face-to-face communication. Yes, e-mail, text messaging, and other forms of communication are all helpful. Yet, they do not take the place of actual conversation with people who are right in front of us. I once heard of a family who spent an evening together — sort of. Throughout the evening, they e-mailed one another. Hmmm. I’m just not sure that is an adequate substitute for real conversation.
18. Play to your strengths. No one can do everything well. Yes, there are people who have skills, knowledge, and expertise that you do not have. Why not appreciate the gifts and abilities of others while you focus on your own strengths? What do you do particularly well? Where has God used you? Is there an area of your life and ministry that others have repeatedly affirmed?
19. Know where the land mines are in your congregation. These land mines are there! Are there traditions, customs, or habits of the congregation that seem to be important to these people? You may choose to affirm these, ignore these, or even attempt to change one or more of these. It is a mistake, however, to not seek to know where these are. You become aware of these land mines by listening to the people in your church. This usually takes time.
20. Stay away from anything that even remotely resembles
manipulation. Remember that love and manipulation are two very
different ways of treating people. I remember the first time I heard the expression, "It is better to ask forgiveness than seek permission." A minister was telling some others that he typically did what he wanted in the congregation and then later asked forgiveness if that seemed necessary. Really? Is this what we want to teach our own children? What if everyone practices this? Is this really the way of Jesus?
What else would you add to this list?
Are you a college student? Are you a single parent? Perhaps you are married with young children. Or, perhaps you are in your middle years. Regardless of where you are in life, what enters your mind as you think about the new year or the future in general?
As you think about the future, what makes you feel either concerned, nervous or anxious? Maybe you are concerned for your children. You may feel nervous as you think about the economy. You may be experiencing some health issues and you wonder how these concerns will be resolved. You may wonder whom you might marry.
As you think about the future, what is there that causes you to feel excited? Maybe you are starting a new job. It could be that you are starting graduate school, and you look forward to that experience. Perhaps there is something in your ministry that you look forward to. Maybe the thought of a new year, new start, etc. is exciting to you.
I am thinking about the new year and am wondering how you and others might respond to these questions. I really appreciate your response.
