Archive - April, 2009

What Does a Healthy Church Look Like?

April 30, 2009 in Church with 29 Comments

heartinchurch.jpgWill you help me with this one? 

What does a healthy church look like?  I am thinking about this as I read Anne Jackson’s book Mad Church Disease: Overcoming the Burnout Epidemic.  (I have just started the book.  Will say more later.)  For now, I would like to ask you to think about some of the characteristics of a healthy church.  

I enjoy talking to people who are a part of a healthy church.  I love to hear the way these people talk about their church.  Often they will focus on how Jesus is changing lives through that church.  Or, they might talk about the authenticity they see in their church.  Even when these communities experience difficulties, they have a very healthy way of dealing with them.

On the other hand there are some churches that appear almost toxic.  People in these churches seem demoralized and discouraged.  Quite often, they participate in discouraging and even destroying people, including their leaders.

Have you experienced being a part of a healthy church?  Have you ever been in an unhealthy church?  What was the difference?

What are the characteristics that make one church healthy while another church remains unhealthy or even toxic? 

When Ministry Becomes a Breath of Fresh Air (Part 3)

April 29, 2009 in Relationships with 4 Comments

tree.jpgSometimes ministry is anything but a breath of fresh air.  In fact, it can be life-draining.  It is so important to periodically think about what adds life and joy to what we do each day as Christ-followers.

The following are some basic principles of ministry.  I believe these principles are life-giving as they move us toward Jesus instead of our own agendas.  This kind of ministry is a breath of fresh air because its source is God — not human ingenuity and performance.  (Part one is here and part two is here.)

1.  Mission happens as the world sees Jesus embodied and lived out in real flesh and blood human beings.  (There is still something powerful about both hearing and seeing Jesus incarnate through a group of Christ-followers.)

2.  The world catches a glimpse of God as it sees the submission of believers to Jesus as Lord and the transformation of their lives into a Christlike people.  (When the world is allowed to witness the life change that is experienced through Jesus, they can’t help but be impressed with God himself.)

3.  Church leaders should expect people to change, to become more like Jesus who is Lord.  (Do we pray for "impossible" situations?  Do we expect God to be at work?  When men and women are a part of our church, do we expect them to be serious about being a Christ-follower?)

4.  The Spirit and his transforming power are the dynamic that makes things happen in a church.  (Something is wrong when church leaders talk more about human performance than the power of God.  Something is wrong when working with a group of ministers leaves one burned out, barely seeing the family, and exhausted.  The fundamental dynamic of ministry is not "leather on pavement" but the work of the Holy Spirit in that community.  The Holy Spirit, after all, is God’s forever presence.)

5.  The Spirit enables us to both tell the truth and do the truth.  It is out of the Spirit’s work that we live in reality and not in our false worlds.  (Authenticity is not found in saying whatever or doing whatever.  Authenticity is to be found when we live in the reality of truth.  The Spirit of God empowers us to both tell the truth and do the truth.)

6.  Shepherds move people toward Jesus by being fully authentic themselves.  His grace frees us to be fully present with others.  (Some church leaders are interested in being a part of an authentic church; however, they would prefer that others practice the authenticity.  They don’t want to admit that their own lives are difficult or that they struggle sometimes.)

7.  Men and women mature in Christ in the context of a community of believers in which the Holy Spirit is released to work.  In such a community, we are not content to settle for superficiality.  (We were never meant to mature on our own, alone.  Our faith is to be lived out with others.)

8.  True transformation into a Christlike people includes the transformation of our emotions and relationships. Maturity in Christ is not happening if our relationships are not being impacted.  (Something is very wrong when we see ourselves as a very spiritual people while we keep our wives/husbands and children at a distance.  Something is wrong when we do not allow Christ to transform our relationships, including our marriages and our relationships with our children and parents.)

Which one of these is most meaningful to you?  What would you add to this list?

Brennan Manning: The Furious Longing of God

April 27, 2009 in Grace with 17 Comments

Manning.jpgSeveral days ago, I read Brennan Manning’s new book, The Furious Longing of God (David C. Cook, 2009).  The book is vintage Brennan Manning.  Manning is candid, forthright, and passionate about God’s love.  As in his other books, Manning reveals keen insight into humanity as well as God’s grace.  Ever self-aware, he describes himself as "a bundle of paradoxes and contradictions" (p. 33). 

The title, The Furious Longing of God, has its origins in G. K. Chesterton who spoke of "the furious love of God."  Manning says in the beginning of the book that all of his books have basically been "facets of the same gem," that the transcendent God seeks intimacy with us (p. 24).

I read this book (131 pages) in about two days.  I found it difficult to put down.  Perhaps it was good to simply be reminded once again of God’s love.  Over and over Manning affirms the incredible love of God in statements such as "the Jesus I met in the grounds of my own self, has furiously loved me regardless of my state — grace or disgrace.  And why?  For His love is never, never, never, based on our performance, never conditioned by our moods — of elation or depression.  The furious love of God knows no shadow of alteration or change.  It is reliable. And always tender" (p. 35). 

Repeatedly, Manning affirms not only the love of God but also exposes various inadequate pictures of God such as "God as a small minded bookkeeper, a niggling customs officer rifling through our moral suitcase, as a policeman with a club who is going to bat us over the head every time we stumble and fall, or as a whimsical, capricious, and cantankerous thief who delights in raining on our parade and stealing our joy" (p. 77).

Let me encourage you to read this book…

  • … if you need to hear afresh that God deeply loves you.
  • … if you spend much of your time working with churches and need to hear of God’s love again.
  • … if you are burdened by a faith that is heavy and which offers little hope.
  • … if you feel as if you just don’t measure up.

Part of the value of this book comes from knowing Manning’s story.  Recovering alcoholic.  Divorce.  Much, much personal struggle.  Yet, his story is about one who seeks God through it all.

Hear Manning’s closing words:

"When the night is bad and my nerves are shattered and the waves break over the sides, Infinity speaks.  God Almighty shares through His Son the depth of His feelings for me, His love flashes into my soul, and I am overtaken by mystery.  These are moments of kairos — the decisive in-break of God’s fury into my personal life’s story.

"It is then I face a momentous decision.  Shivering in the rags of my seventy-four years, I have two choices.  I can escape below into skepticism and intellectualism, hanging on for dear life.  Or, with radical amazement, I can stay on deck and boldly stand in surrendered faith to the truth of my belovedness, caught up in the reckless raging fury that they call the love of God.  And learn to pray" (pp. 130-131).

(You can find this book here.)

When Ministry Becomes a Breath of Fresh Air (Part 2)

April 23, 2009 in Ministry with 14 Comments

coffee25.jpgI was exhausted at the end of the conversation!

This particular minister went on and on about his work.  There were no questions, little laughter, and much seriousness.  The way he talked about his ministry and his church was draining.  He spoke about his church as if it was the center of all ministries and churches.  Perhaps you have been a part of these kinds of conversations before.  The one emotion I felt upon leaving this conversation was fatigue.  This ministry sounded exhausting!

I hardly knew this guy.  What I am trying to communicate at the moment is how it sounded to an onlooker.  It seemed like a perfect situation for burnout.

This kind of ministry reminds me of a few lines I read in Leading the Congregation (Norman Shawchuck, Roger Heuser):

We serve a church that honors frenzied activity and long hours.  We are recognized and rewarded for our doing, and not for our being.  That is a condition of our own making.  We want people to see us as busy achievers, the hub of the church’s activity…

If someone calls, would I rather for our receptionist to say to that person, "I’m sorry.  Jim is in a meeting right now.  May I have him call you?" or "I’m sorry.  Could he return your call after lunch?  He is spending the morning in prayer."?

Ministry can be a breath of fresh air.  The following are two truths about ministry.  Each of these reminds us that ministry is more than religious performance or being a professional church leader.  Rather, ministry is about the work of God through the Holy Spirit in the life of a person and a church.

1.  There is a living dynamic in us as the church.  That living dynamic is the Holy Spirit living within us.  That living dynamic, the presence of Jesus through his Spirit, is the dynamic for ministry within the church (Colossians 1:27).  The power of a church is not in its activity, programs, talented people, leadership, money, numbers, etc.  The power of a church is the living presence of Jesus.  Because of this living presence, impossible things can happen due to a church’s ministry (2 Corinthians 5:17-18).

2.  We are to be formed into the image of Jesus.  Something is wrong when someone can be a Christian for decades but is not any more Christlike than she was at the beginning of her journey.  When Christ lives in us and we yield our lives to his rule, we become a people more like him.  Again, the dynamic that enables this to happen is God’s Spirit living in us (2 Cor. 3:18).  

I can’t begin to tell you how much this has helped me.  For so many years, I thought that if I just worked harder, knew more, performed better, etc. that my life and my work would finally make a difference.  What I missed was the dynamic of the living Christ in me.  This is where the power for ministry really lies.

As a result?  Less stress.  Less emphasis on me.  Less reason to get impressed with my self-importance.  Less reason to get discouraged.

(See part 1 here.)

What do you think?  How have you grappled with this in your own life and ministry?

Bringing Honor to Marriage

April 21, 2009 in Family/Marriage with 4 Comments

wedding1.jpgI heard the story of a father and mother whose daughter was about to get married. They purchased a very expensive piece of 100% cotton stationery. They hired a calligrapher to put the vows on the sheet in permanent ink.

Finally, it was the day of the wedding. In the middle of the ceremony after the young couple said their vows to one another, the minister turned to the audience and said, "John and Amy would like to invite you to witness their covenant and to sign your name on this covenant. By doing so, you pledge to pray for them and to hold them accountable."

People stood in line to sign this document. One person standing in line was heard to say, "Man, they’re really serious about this, aren’t they?"

Yes.

There is something serious about marriage as covenant or promise. Marriage may be about falling in love, romance, or even the joy of discovering your life-partner. Ultimately, however, a marriage is a covenant that two people, two friends, make with one another. They make a promise to one another and to God. Such a promise made and kept brings such honor to God and to marriage itself.


"Marriage should be honored by all…" (Hebrews 1:4).


(Note: I am not sure about the source of the story in this post.  I may have heard this from someone or may have even read it somewhere.)


How do men and women bring honor to their marriages? What should a person know about the importance of such honor prior to marriage? What has been helpful in your own marriage as you think about the honor of your own marriage?

Ten Ways to Enjoy Life and Be Effective (Part 4 of 4)

April 20, 2009 in Spiritual Life, Starting the Day with 4 Comments

sign.jpgThis is the final post in this series.  The ten practices listed in these four posts might be helpful to you or someone else toward enjoying life and yet being effective.  These are practices that have been helpful to me.  (You can read part 1 here, part 2 here, and part 3 here.)   

The final two practices I want to mention are:

9.  Take a good look at both your priorities and your procrastination.  I noticed something a couple of years ago.  I realized there were certain tasks and projects that I kept putting off.  I noticed that certain action steps would remain undone on my to-do list.  Certain projects would remain on my list without any progress being made.

I realized that quite often the action step on my list was far too vague.  At times the "step" actually took four or five actions to get it done.  Consequently, I would look at a step like "Put together leadership retreat" (for example) and completely avoid it. It was so large and non-specific that it was just easier to do something else.  This was actually more than one step as it required a number of actions to get anything done.

I also began to realize that some of the very things that I procrastinated were actions necessary to make progress on my priorities.  So, I might spend time working on something that was actually a very low priority while a higher priority was not even being addressed.  Of course, this had a way of coming back to haunt me as something very important became due and I had not spent adequate time working on it.

So, here are a couple of important questions that I ask myself as I look at my "to-do" list for the day:

*  What action steps have I listed here really do have a bearing on one or more of my priorities?

*  What are one or two action steps that I could take today that might advance a project and consequently make progress on a priority area?

10. Finish strong!  I want to finish strong.  I want to finish my life and my ministry strong.  Yet, there are forces that work against this.  I have seen some very good men and women start off well only to crash and burn somewhere along the way.  Sexual immorality.  Dishonesty.  Pornography.  Poor judgment.  These are some of the big ones. 

Yet, the threat is present on another level as well.  It is possible for a person to start a ministry or a particular project with great hope.  Perhaps this person had a dream — a kingdom-size dream.  Yet, something happened along the way.  Perhaps this person was mistreated by a church.  Maybe this person was unable to raise enough money to begin or continue this work.  Disappointed and disheartened, he or she may have become cynical.  A dream has died and something in this person has also shut down and died.

I want to be aware of the negative possibilities that I have just described.  At the same time, I really want to finish strong.  I want to be fully alive and present in the moment each day that I am alive.

What other practices would you add to this list?

Guest Writer: Connie Lard

April 17, 2009 in Jesus, Prayer with 2 Comments

coffee46.jpgThe following was written by today’s guest writer, Connie Lard of Florence, Alabama.  Connie has served for many years as a health-care professional.  She also is an avid reader and a good thinker.  On a number of occasions, I have read her reflections, poetry, etc. and have come away moved and encouraged.

***

“Lord, teach us to pray…”  Wistful words from an unnamed disciple.  Jesus had many requests from people while He was here.  Especially after the miracles started.  Often the request was for healing, sometimes for an answer to a religious question, or simply for food to feed a hungry crowd.  He always listened intently and answered in a way that was appropriate to meet the needs of the person asking.  But this request really caught His attention.  And, I imagine it made Him pause and smile broadly before He answered, “This is how you should pray…”

We today are no different.  We ask many things of Him.  He listens carefully and answers each of us in just the way we need.  Then, often only after life has driven us to our knees, we make the most important request, the one He’s been waiting to hear.  “Lord, teach me to pray.”  He pauses….. and smiles…..and He answers.

ON PRAYER
I think, with awestruck wonder,
Of how it all began –
God wanted me to know Him,
So, He became a Man!

It’s quite beyond all reason
That such a thing could be…
I could not go to Him,
Thus, He came down for me.

He wanted me to know His heart,
To see inside His mind,
To discover truths, which on my own
I’d never, ever find.

Because He came to me like this
With many things to share,
Now I can also go to Him –
He gave me wings of prayer!

Sometimes I take these wings,
And I am feeling strong.
My prayer has words all tumbling out
In rhythm like a song.

At other times I cannot phrase
Just what I need to say.
I can only ask Him in,
Within my heart to stay.

I cannot understand it all,
It is too much for me.
I only know I dwell in Him,
And that He dwells in me!

Susan Boyle – When We Underestimate Another

April 16, 2009 in Spiritual Life with 12 Comments

Yesterday, I was at lunch with a good friend who told me about Susan Boyle.  Boyle recently auditioned on Britain’s Got Talent and this 47-year-old woman stunned the audience and the judges as she sang "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables. 

She is from the Glasgow, Scotland, area.  Notice her before she sings.  How easy it is for all of us to pre-judge someone based upon appearance.  For example, note these lines from WalesOnline:

"When Susan Boyle walked onto
the stage at the Britain’s Got Talent auditions, she was the complete
antithesis of our image-obsessed world.  Dressed in a dodgy gold dress,
with bushy eyebrows and her greying hair longing to be styled and
coloured, first impressions meant we all expected her to fail
miserably."

Then she sang.  Everyone was
shocked.  A refreshing reminder to us all in a culture that values the
outward appearance above all else.  How refreshing in a culture where
people often feel "less than" because they don’t wear the right jeans, don’t wear the right labels, don’t drive the right car, or in some way just don’t measure up.  What a refreshing wake-up call.


Susan Boyle Stuns Crowd with Epic Singing – Watch more Funny Videos

Marriage 101 — A Basic You Don’t Want to Miss

April 14, 2009 in Family/Marriage, My Family, My Story with 8 Comments

weddingband.jpgMy wedding ring used to be gold.  Now it is silver.  It looks just like the ring in this picture.  The gold band?  Well, that somehow disappeared on a softball field years ago.  We looked and looked for it.  I think the earth swallowed it.  Anyway, this is a ring like the one I wear every day.  

When we married, Charlotte had the words "Forever Yours" and then the date of our wedding engraved inside the ring:

8-11-78

I am glad she included both the "Forever Yours" line and then the date.  One has encouraged me.  The other has been useful.  (Yes, she had the newer ring engraved with the same words.)

I was twenty-five years old when we got married.  I knew that I had found a wonderful young woman.  I had already finished college at the University of North Texas.  I met Charlotte in Alabama shortly after moving there, about a year after college.  She wasn’t quite finished with college yet.  She had one more year left.

I knew very little about marriage.  In fact, I actually knew far less than I thought I knew.  In those days, premarital counseling really was not available where we lived.  In fact, I had never heard of anyone getting married who had experienced something like this.  Besides, I don’t think it ever occurred to me then that such an experience might be helpful. 

My preparation for marriage?  Not much.  As I recall, I may have read a book that Charlotte had used a few years earlier when she took Dr. Carl Breechen’s "Christian Family" course at Abilene Christian University.  I looked through her notes several times.  I may have had a few conversations with Charlotte’s parents about marriage.  I do not recall ever talking with any older male about the transition from being single to being married.  I was getting married and my preparation for such a thing was very, very minimal.

We got married and first lived in a small apartment near the University of North Alabama.  We had been married maybe a month when one day I decided to go to the store to buy something for my car.  I had been working on the car and needed some sort of cleaner.  So, I did what I had always done as a single person.  I just got in my car and left.  I was gone about an hour.  When I got back to our small upstairs apartment, Charlotte met me at the door.  "Where have you been?" 

"Where have I been?  Uhhhh—well, I went to the store."

"Well I had no idea where you were.  You were in the kitchen one moment and then the next thing I knew you were driving down the street and you were gone.  You didn’t say anything.  You were just gone.  I didn’t know where you were going or when you would be back."

Being the immature person I was, I immediately began to defend myself and justify.  Yet, I knew she was right.  We couldn’t be married and then one of us just drop out of sight for awhile, not communicating, etc.

For me this was the beginning of "Marriage 101" — You’ve got to learn to communicate.

Some of you are married.  Some of you are not.  For those of you who are married, I am wondering what it is that you wish you had learned early on. 

What would you have liked to have known from the beginning of your marriage?  Did you have anyone (a parent, a friend, a minister, or a counselor) who helped mentor you through those early years?

Ten Ways to Enjoy Life and Be Effective (Part 3)

April 13, 2009 in Spiritual Life, Starting the Day with 5 Comments

ten.pngLately, I have been reflecting on some habits or practices that have been important to me in learning to enjoy life and be effective.  (You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.)   Please feel free to add, in the comments, some of the practices that have been helpful to you but I have not yet mentioned.

7.  Give yourself away to others.  Generosity can be very enjoyable.  Maybe generosity is enjoyable because it is Godlike.  Most of us have so much to give.  Yet, many people go through their day ignoring many people.  Some people are dismissive of others.  They treat some people as if they do not exist.

I have found that people are often shocked and amazed at someone who just wants to give and who expects nothing in return.   Let me invite you to give yourself to other people. 

What can you give? 

*  Your smile!  Give a smile to a clerk who appears to be bored.  Smile at a grumpy looking person.  Smile at someone who seems to appear invisible to other people (the clerk, the cashier at the grocery store, the custodian at your office).  A simple smile can brighten someone’s day.

*  Your thoughtfulness. At a church dinner or at the office, ask another if she/he would like a refill on the iced tea.  Open the door for another.  Let another have their preference.  Let another choose the restaurant.  Be thoughtful.  Be considerate.  Be gracious.  Remember the little things!  They will be big in someone else’s mind.

*  Your attention.  We love to have the attention of people who matter to us.  We may love the attention of someone who seems important or admirable to us.  

Yet, there is something to be said for noticing people who often get very little attention.  Pay attention to children and older people.  Listen, really listen, to others as they talk.  Listen as if there is no one else present in the entire room.  I am still working on this, but I have seen just how uplifting listening can be to others. 

8.  Take care of what God has given you.  When I was in high school, I worked at a Jack-in-the-Box restaurant (fast food).  I learned much and had some interesting experiences while there.  This particular restaurant had a drive-through for customers.  One night a beautiful royal blue Chevrolet Camaro waited in line.  Finally the last car ahead of the Camaro moved forward and the Camaro moved up to the cashier’s window.  The driver paid and then received his food.  The driver was also drunk — very drunk.  Instead of exiting the drive-through, the driver began spinning his tires.  The car remained by the cashier’s window while this driver revved his engine and spun his tires.  A cloud of black smoke poured out of the back of the car where the hot tires were burning.  Still he continued to spin his tires.  Piles of rubber began to build up behind the car until finally there was a loud bang!  One of the tires blew.  Later a wrecker came and towed the car away.

At the time, I thought about how wasteful this person had been.  This was a nice car, almost new, and yet the driver chose not to take care of it.  I would have loved to have had a car like that one at sixteen.  Yet, this driver, drunk as he was, did not take care of this car.  In the same way, far too many of us just do not take care of what God has given us.

Are you married?  Nurture your marriage.  Treat your wife/husband well!  Treat her/him with dignity, respect, and appreciation.

Do you have children?  Give them the very best that God has to offer.  That is, give them Jesus.  Teach them how to pray.  Show them through your example how a child of God lives who is committed to holy living.

What about your mind?  Nurture your thought world.  Read.  Grow.  Learn something!  Don’t settle for the status quo.

What about your body?  Take care of yourself because you have been given a body as a gift from God.  Treat your body in a way that reflects your awareness that it is a gift from God.  Sleep.  Eat food that fuels your body.  Exercise.  Why?  You are simply trying to take care of what God has given you. 

What else would you add to this list?

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