Archive - May, 2009

Places I’ve Been

May 29, 2009 in Places I've Been... with 1 Comment

Anne Jackson has written a very fine post — one that should be read by leaders in particular.  Read "The Drawbridge."

Read L. L. Barkat’s "I Collect Words."  One reason I enjoy reading her blog is because she helps me think about the words I use.

Karen Spears Zacharias has written a fine post on "Sexting."  A nice appeal for some common sense.

Michael Hyatt helps me think about leadership.  One fine example of his thinking/writing is "Leadership 2.0."

John Frye has written "Another Look at the Imitation of Christ."

Scot McKnight continues a very fine series, "Justification and New Perspective."  (This is a review of N. T. Wright’s new book, Justification: God’s Plan and Paul’s Vision.)

Question: What Contributes to the Moral “Train-wrecks”?

May 27, 2009 in Church, Spiritual Life with 26 Comments

trainwreck.jpg

I would love to hear your response to this.  What contributes to the moral train-wrecks?

  • Minister has an affair.
  • Longtime Christian wife/mother decides to leave her husband and children.
  • Church leader reveals a fifteen-year addiction to pornography.
  • Longtime Christian is sent to prison after numerous incidents of theft.  He explains that the motivation for his theft was the desire to have nice things.
  • Church member swindles several other church members in a business deal.
  • Married woman (in her 40s), who is a longtime children’s Bible class teacher, becomes involved with a man ten years younger.

Do these behaviors describe most Christian people?  No.  Not at all.  Yet, I don’t want to ignore these very real examples.

Yes, I know that all Christians sin and that believers are not exempt from stumbling into all kinds of sinful behavior.  However, I think it might be helpful to ask what are some of the factors that contribute to these moral train-wrecks.  What contributes to these behaviors?

 

Could these be contributing factors?

  • A lack of accountability.
  • Being more enamored with a desire to feel a certain way than with Jesus.
  • Lust.
  • A desire for power.
  • Making stupid, foolish decisions that might make one more vulnerable.
  • Arrogance (I’m above all of these temptations).
  • Seeking pleasure or relief during times of defeat, failure, loss, pain, etc.
  • Being vulnerable during a time in which you have isolated yourself from others.
  • Pride.

No doubt there are many other behaviors that might be contributing factors.

 

What have you observed?  What are some other contributing factors to moral train-wrecks?

When Leaders Run By Themselves

May 25, 2009 in Leadership with 10 Comments

leadership.jpgMy daughter Jamie ran track her first few years of high school.  On one occasion, she had a track meet at a nearby school.  At most track meets, I generally stood
against the fence around the track waiting for my daughter’s race.  This day would be no different.  I stood by the fence ready to watch the next race.  

The
time came for the 100-meter, varsity boys’ race.  The guys who ran this race were generally very fast.  The runners got in
their respective lanes.  The starter raised his hand with the pistol in
the air.  "On your mark, get set, go!"  One young man apparently jumped
too soon.  As soon as the gun fired, the starter then quickly fired
again — the signal for a false start.  When that happens, all of the
runners are supposed to stop and go back to their starting positions.

All
of them did return — except for one young runner in a maroon uniform.  He
continued running.  I cringed with embarrassment for him.  I heard someone
say, "Oh no, he’s still running! How embarrassing!"  He ran by himself
the entire race, not realizing that he was the only one running.

Finally he raised his arms as he crossed the finish line, thinking that
he had won the race. He then turned around only to realize that no one
else had been running with him.  I can’t imagine how he must have felt.  The stands were full
of people.  About fourteen or fifteen schools were present at the meet that day.  Many people watched this kid run the race by himself.

Has this ever been you?  Do you, as a leader, ever feel like you are alone in your
race?  Life is a lifelong marathon.  The
goal is not speed but endurance.  We just want to finish and finish strong.  Yet, it
is awfully difficult to do this by yourself. 

Leadership can be a very lonely role.  Yet, sometimes, the issue may be more than loneliness.  We may have jumped the gun and so we find ourselves running — alone.  While leadership involves the individual and his or her commitments, values, and passions, it is more than a task to be done alone.  Leadership requires others.  Leading is more than being aware of where others are in the process.  It could be that you have jumped the gun, not realizing that others are not with you.

Leadership is more than telling people which way to go.  It is more than announcing, persuading, or even preaching to them.  Leadership involves working with people and bringing them along.  Leadership is influencing people for something good, honorable, and worthy.

As leaders, we want to finish and finish strong.  We lead because we believe the cause is great and the goal is worthy.  However, we were never meant to run by ourselves.  Life is
tough — at times leadership is extremely tough.  How encouraging it is to know
that you are not running alone.

 

And so …

1.  Leadership is not about being a "Lone Ranger."  To lead is not to run the race by yourself while others watch.

2.  Leadership is about working with people to move toward something that is good, honorable, and worthy.

 

Questions

What do you think?  Who are some of the best leaders you have known?  What made them good leaders?

 

(Be sure to read the two excellent articles by Michael Hyatt, "Leadership 2.0" and "Eight Things Leaders Can Learn from Symphony Conductors.")

On Not Losing Hope

May 21, 2009 in Spiritual Life with 8 Comments

asleep.gifI hear it far too often.

What is the use?

"Look at those children!  I can’t wait until we have our first baby."

"Yea but the time will come when they will be wanting money every few minutes."

"I can’t wait to go to college."

"Yea, you say that now but you just wait.  Wait until you have all of that work to do."

"I would love to take a class at the community college."

"Yea, you say that now but just wait until you are old."

You have met these people haven’t you?  I have.  They have a way of dousing most any hope that we have.  Again and again, they communicate, "There really is no hope."  (Now some will quickly say "Jesus" regarding our hope.  Yet, at the same time they live right now as if there is no hope.)

Far too many Christians utter words of hopelessness.  You’ve heard them.  "I’m too old, young, or set in my ways."  Sometimes church leaders speak like this regarding their congregations.  "They will never change.  Those elders won’t ever get it.  With a preacher like him there is no hope.  Our church will never amount to anything." 

Some of us who are Christian leaders buried dreams we had some years ago.  Now mind you, perhaps some dreams need to die.  Dreams that are basically centered around our egos really are not kingdom-sized dreams.  They ought to die.  There are some kingdom dreams that were allowed to die after the dream was strangled by critics.  Yet, should we be living as if we had no hope?   

Walter Anderson was the editor of "Parade Magazine" for twenty years.  He grew up in poverty.  He was the product of a very difficult home environment.  His father beat him when he caught him reading a book.  He was a "D" student most of the time.  One teacher, however, told Anderson repeatedly how much she believed in him.  Anderson said that she made all the difference in the world.  She helped him get into a parochial school.

One day, however, he went to class with his shirt collar up.  Another teacher told him to take off his shirt and he refused.  The teacher took the boy’s shirt off and told him to stand up in front of the class.  All the kids laughed as they saw his undershirt with holes in it.  He was humiliated.  He finished the semester and then quit school.  He joined the Marines.  Sometimes the haunting sounds of someone’s laughter can last for years.

Take Home

  • Live today with the hope that God offers in Jesus.  That hope makes a difference TODAY!
  • Refuse to have a nasty, negative, cynical attitude.  Refuse to join the naysayers.
  • Be known as the person God uses to brighten someone’s day.  Smile.  Speak.  Introduce yourself.  Be engaged with others.
  • Never, never make fun of a human being, either a child or an adult.  Never laugh at someone’s problem or their failure. 

Odds and Ends

May 21, 2009 in Spiritual Life with 3 Comments

Thanks!

Thanks for your patience during the last two days while my blog was unavailable due to some technical glitches (my doing!).  I changed the template this morning because I kept having so much trouble with the other.  The interface for making comments should work much better.

If you enjoy this blog, you might also enjoy some of the lines that I "Twitter" on most days.  You can add me to your Twitter list by going to @JimMartin.  If you do not Twitter but are interested, you might go here.

You Might Enjoy

This month I am guest editor for Lynn Anderson’s website entitled "Mentornetwork.org."  Lynn has some very good resources for church leaders in particular.  You might enjoy the lead article this week: "Leaders as Lifelong Learners."

For Your Information

Probably one of the easiest ways to reach me is through e-mail.  My address is: jim@crestview-church.org.

Three Suggestions for Discouragement

May 18, 2009 in Encouragement with 14 Comments

discouragement.jpgI called him one Sunday evening and told him that I really needed to talk.  I admired my father-in-law and really wanted his advice.  (He was a longtime minister and president of a small Bible college.)  I was a young minister working with my first church and living in middle Tennessee.  My in-laws lived about an hour away.  

I don’t remember the circumstances.  I don’t remember what was taking place at the time.  I just remember that I was glad that I could talk with my father-in-law.  He invited me to come to his office the next morning. 

The next day, I sat down in his office and began talking.  He listened intently and then asked me a few questions.  One of the most helpful things he did was to remind me that I was not stuck or trapped and didn’t have to do this kind of work.  He also reminded me of God’s love for me and his promises.  There was no pressure from my father-in-law to handle all of this in a certain way.  I found this to be very freeing.

If you have been a Christ-follower for any length of time, you probably know what it is to become discouraged.  Discouragement is draining.  It zaps you of any energy.  Discouragement has a way of causing a person to lose hope.

I don’t become discouraged very often.  Yet, I certainly know what it feels like and want to be aware of those situations in my life that are difficult and have the potential to become discouraging. 

The following are some common issues that can become discouraging:

1.  Loneliness and isolation.  You may feel very lonely as a single or married person.  You may feel lonely as a parent, not sure what to do regarding a situation with your child.  You may feel lonely in your role as a minister, wishing there was someone who understood.  Perhaps you are a graduate student.  You have papers to write and books to read and you wonder if you will ever complete this work.

2.  Financial stress.  Perhaps you are in debt.  You have a huge mortgage.  You wonder what you were thinking when you bought your house.  You wonder why you bought that new SUV.  Perhaps you are facing a mountain of credit card debt, some of which may have come about due to impulsive buying.

3.  Family issues.  Perhaps you are deeply concerned about one of your children.  This may be an adult child who has long been away from home but who still has your heart.  You are concerned about some of his/her decisions.  Or, perhaps you are concerned about your own marriage.  Things just are not going well and you wonder whom you could talk with.  Maybe one of your parents is dying.  This is a deeply emotional time and you sometimes feel discouraged as you think about life without this person.

4.  Church.  You feel so disappointed.  You feel let down over the behavior of a person you looked up to and admired.  You feel betrayed and duped.  You wonder how you will be able to trust anyone else.   

5.  Friends.  You thought a certain family would stand by you as you went through a difficult time.  Your child was in the hospital, and they never even called.  Or perhaps your dad died and they never acknowledged your loss.  Maybe you lost your job and some friends seemed to have pulled away from you instead of drawing near.  Perhaps it has been difficult to make friends in the place where you live.  You wish you could have close friends again. 

The following are some suggestions that might be helpful when you feel discouraged:

1.  Avoid spending too much time with negative, life-draining people when you are already discouraged.  Often these people will only help to intensify your discouragement.

2.  Look for godly counsel in someone who will both listen and yet offer some perspective.

3.  Remember the calming assurance of God.  Over and over he assures his people of his presence and provision.  One example of this was his word to Joshua:

"No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life.  As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you or forsake you"  (Joshua 1:5).

What have you found to be especially helpful when you are discouraged?  What habits or practices have been particularly helpful?

Will You Let Go of this Myth about Families?

May 14, 2009 in Family/Marriage with 27 Comments

clip_image001.jpgOne of the greatest myths about family is that somehow it is possible to experience a perfect family.  Some Christians believe that because they follow Christ that it is possible to be the perfect family.

Now some may know this and yet many of us spend much energy trying to project to one another that we have the perfect marriage, family, children, etc.  Perhaps you know people like this.  Someone asks, "How are your children?"  "Wonderful!"  Or they may ask, "How is your husband?"  "Awesome.  He is really doing well."  Those answers may be correct.  However, it may seem strange to continue hearing such answers when you know that the family is experiencing heartache with the children or the spouse.    Yet, they are always "wonderful." 

Is this reality?  Or, is this about image management?  Could it be that in order to protect their image, some people never really tell the truth.  Instead, they are content to settle for something superficial.

Some believe that the church is the place where all of the successful, happy, families gather.  No problems.  No heartaches.  No struggles.  Everyone has it all together.  Now if you view the church like this, you may feel somewhat intimidated by being a part of the church.  What if you are struggling in your marriage?  What if you are having financial problems?  What if you have come out of horrible home life?  You may wonder, "Is there anyone else in this church like me?"

When our children were growing up, I tried to be especially conscious of this problem.  I wanted them to grow up in a good home, where we loved one another and Christ was at the center.  Yet, I did not want them to think that they were supposed to project some sort of image about our family because I was a minister.  I did not want them to think that they had to be dishonest about life in our home in order to make me look good.

There are no perfect families.  They are not in the Bible.  They are not in the church today.  You may be a part of a really good family.  You may have a good marriage.  Yet, there are no perfect families because there are no perfect human beings. 

All families, like all people, are imperfect.

What would help so many of us is to get the right perspective toward our families.  Instead of being preoccupied with managing my image before others, I need to be focused on living with the intent of loving my family with a God honoring love.  Consequently, I am to love God and love others, especially my own family.  Such love is sacrificial, self-denying, forgiving and persistent.

On July 20 of last year, I heard a segment of NPR’s, "This I Believe" which especially caught my attention.  Listen as this speaker reflects upon his earlier years:

I don’t know why I came to the decision to become a loser, but I know I made the choice at a young age.  Sometime in the middle of fourth grade, I stopped trying.  By the time I was in seventh grade, I was your typical degenerate: lazy, rebellious, disrespectful.  I had lost all social graces.  I was terminally hip and fatally cool.

It wasn’t long after I dropped out of school and continued my downward spiral.  Hard physical labor was the consequence for the choices I made as an adolescent.  At the age of 21, I was hopelessly lost, and using drugs as a way to deal with the fact that I was illiterate and stuck in a dead-end job carrying roof shingles up a ladder all day.

But now I believe in do-overs, in the chance to do it all again.  And I believe that do-overs can be made at any point in your life, if you have the right motivation…

Yes!  This is what a family is about.  Families are not places where pretend we have reached perfection.  Families are places where human beings can struggle with life and even experience a do-over.  Christ-followers believe that God’s grace through Christ gives the ultimate do-over.

I am curious.  What have you observed about the myth of the perfect family in the churches with which you are familiar?  In what ways does this myth do damage to other people?

The Best Is Yet To Come

May 12, 2009 in Church with 12 Comments

future.jpgI wish that I could stand on tiptoe and see into the future.  

I can’t do this, but I don’t mind telling you what I think I would see.  If I could look into the future and see the future of the church, I think I would see that the best is yet to come.  No, I’m not referring to the end-times.  Rather, I am talking about the existence and ministry of the church on the earth, embodying the presence of Christ.

I have been a Christian for a number of years.  I have been a minister for several decades.  I have seen trends, fads, dog and pony shows, etc.  I have also seen church quarrels, church splits, immature and sinful church leaders, etc.  Yet, in spite of these realities, I am so encouraged.  I am delighted to be alive in 2009.

Today, I continue to follow Christ, and serve as a minister in a church, with an optimistic spirit regarding the future.  I know that many people long ago gave up on the church.  I am not writing these lines to argue or defend.  Yes, I have discouraging days and difficult seasons.  I have seen much that is disappointing and even discouraging.  Yet, I can honestly say that I see more that encourages me than discourages me.

When I think about the future, I don’t mean to leave the impression that the church will not struggle or even suffer.  Nor do I mean that the future church will not have problems — even serious problems at times.  Yet, I do not take the view that the best years are behind us.  (I am not speaking of a specific group of people or a particular denomination.)  Rather, I am simply voicing my confidence in the work of God’s Spirit through the living Jesus who dwells in his people.

Specifically:

  • I am thinking of a people who take Jesus seriously and whose lives are being changed by him. 
  • I am thinking of a people who have a kingdom vision and a passion for that vision. 
  • I am thinking of a people who value the church whether they meet as a small group of five in a home or as a large group of five thousand in a rented facility. 
  • I am thinking of a people who live obedient to Jesus and who are serious about holy living. 
  • I am thinking of a people whose gracious demeanor allows others to experience authentic Christian community. 
  • I am thinking of a people who have a world vision and who care about the world.  This world vision begins one person at a time. 

 

What do you see that encourages you?  What do you see in your own church or in another church that causes you to feel encouraged about the future?

My Story: Life at the First Church

May 6, 2009 in Ministry, My Family, My Story with 10 Comments

Map.jpgMy early years as a minister took place in a small church in middle Tennessee.  The church was in Pulaski, about an hour from Nashville.  The little church met in a storefront on the highway that led to Minor Hill.  Yes, it was a storefront.  Used to be a convenience store.  Just across the street (two-lane highway) was a bank — a round bank — where we had an adult class each Sunday morning.  (Somebody had a key to one of the meeting rooms in the bank.)

This was a small church.  On a "good" Sunday, we might have 75 people or so.  Yet, I will always be indebted to these people.  They were so patient with their young minister.  When you are just starting out, everything is new.  Every sermon is new.  Every experience is new.  Most every problem is new.  Yet, these people were patient.  Very patient.  

Working as a minister with a church for the first time is an experience for which no one can really quite prepare you.  You learn about people.  You see people at their best and at their worst.  You realize that some Christians are so alive to God and their lives reflect this.  You see others who are — well, just there.

There are many things about Pulaski, that church, and those people that I have always remembered and probably always will:

I remember the wonderful encouragers: Dennon and Joy, J. W. and his wife, Byron and Brenda.  Then there were young guys like Charlie, Jimmy, and others.  We spent much time in Dennon and Joy’s home.  Dennon took me around town introducing me to various people.  Again and again, I was blessed by his friendship and encouragement.

I remember a woman who taught me so much about prayer: Mary Cordell, who believed that God really did hear and answer prayer.  Again and again, she would tell me of what she had been praying for.  I know she prayed for me regularly.

I remember walking along the town square (courthouse in the middle).  This was the first time I had ever lived in a small town, and I was fascinated by its dynamics.

I remember the little house we lived in on Jefferson Street.  My "office" was in our home.  I recall spending much time in that house, studying, praying and trying to figure out what I was supposed to be doing.  That was a very special place.

I remember some very tender moments.  Late one night, I drove through a hard rain on Highway 31 to Columbia where one of our members, a 26-year-old woman, was dying of cancer.  She died that night while I was at the hospital.  I had no idea what I needed to do.  I had never been present when someone died before.  A nurse took me by the arm and gently said, "You probably want to take the family down to the chapel."  She then proceeded to lead us all to the little chapel.  (I have thanked the Lord again and again for sending this woman.)

Once in the chapel, the family wept and sat very still.  The room was dark and I sensed that I just needed to read Scripture, pray, and slip out.  A large Bible was already in the room.  I opened it to the 23rd Psalm and then read.  I then prayed.

A few days later, I stood on a hillside just outside of Pulaski and conducted my first funeral.  I remember that moment so well.  A few years ago, I was in Nashville for a conference and decided to go through Pulaski again.  I found this same hillside, stood by the grave, and again remembered that day.

So, I am thankful to God that in his grace he allowed Charlotte and me to live in that place.  I am thankful for all we learned while we were there.

What did you learn, that you have held on to, in the first place you lived as an adult?  

Question: What Would You Have Done Differently?

May 5, 2009 in Family/Marriage with 14 Comments

question_mark_778895.gif.jpgI have two questions.  One is for you if you are a mother.  The other is for the rest of us.

First question: As a mother, what is one thing you wish you had done differently with your children?

Yes, Sunday is Mother’s Day.  It is a day for sending cards, giving flowers, and saying nice words about mothers.  I want to think about this on another level though.  If you are a mother, I am wondering what you have learned about being a mother that you would like to do differently if you could do it over?

Perhaps your children are grown and have moved out of your house.  Or, perhaps your children are in college or in high school.  After thinking about the years that you spent rearing your children, what would you have done differently?

Second question: What did your mother do right?

Can you pinpoint something that your mother did well?  Is there something she did that today is especially meaningful to you?

Yes, I know that some people had very unpleasant experiences with their mother, dad, or even both.  That is a tragedy and a loss.  Yet, I think it is important to learn from those who are mothers and can now reflect upon the experience.  It is valuable to learn from one another as we remember our own mothers.

I learned from my mother the importance of service and helping others.  She did this with her children, again and again.  I realized later on that she had often put her own welfare and her own desires behind the needs of her children.  She saw to it that her children had clothes, school supplies, and money for lunch.  All of this seemed to be placed before her getting the things she wanted and no doubt needed. 

What about you?