Archive - July, 2009

The Month that Has Been a Lifesaver! (A 16-Year Practice)

July 29, 2009 in Leadership, Ministry, Renewal, Self-Care with 15 Comments

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Sixteen years ago, my family and I moved to Waco, Texas, to begin working with the Crestview church. Our children were young and were fascinated by the notion of moving. I still remember their glee when we flew into the Waco airport and were greeted by some members of what would become our new church. These people did so much to help us feel welcome. They sent us notes and cards, invited us into their homes for meals, and were very kind to our two little girls.

Yet, in spite of those kind gestures, it would be a hard move. Our prior church situation had been very, very difficult. In fact, after almost three years there, I began to wonder if I wanted to remain in “full-time ministry” any longer. I was burned out — completely. In fact, it was with some hesitation that I agreed to come work with the church in Waco. I was hesitant to trust again and experience deep disappointment all over again.

However, what happened in those early discussions regarding the possibility of our move has turned out to be highly significant to my staying there for sixteen years of ministry.

From the beginning, we (the elders of this church and I) agreed that I would be away each July. Two of these weeks are vacation. They really are vacation. I don’t do e-mail, Twitter, Facebook, etc. The remaining two weeks in July would be for study. These two weeks would be a time to prepare for messages for the following year. It would be a time to read and think without the pressure of everyday ministry responsibilities.

So for sixteen years, I have been away each July. When I return, I usually feel rejuvenated and refreshed, with new energy and perspective. I really believe the primary reason for my being at this church for that many years has been the opportunity to check out each July.

What do I do during those two weeks? I have done a variety of things. For several years, I have gone to Regent College in Vancouver, B.C. There, I am in a different culture, hearing different concerns, and have the opportunity to listen to good lectures. One year I spent the week in Memphis while another year, I spent part of a week in Birmingham. Some years, I have read heavily, covering a variety of issues. Other years I have focused on one topic or issue. Some years, I have spent much time in libraries. Other years, I did not ever enter a library.

One year I simply focused on what I was hearing from people around me. I spent lots of time in Starbucks and various other coffee shops. I made notes of most every conversation that I participated in or that I overheard. I browsed through magazines, newspapers, etc. looking for common themes and threads. During that time, I was also in the middle of preparation for a new message series on Sunday mornings. So what I heard from others connected with the preparation of these messages.

In a few days, I will return to work after another July. I remain thankful to this church that provides this opportunity for me each year. I only wish that more and more of my friends who are in a similar role had such an arrangement with their churches. I think these churches would quickly see that they are making a wise, long-term investment in their minister that benefits the congregation greatly.

(I wrote this after reading a fine post by my friend, Tim Spivey, regarding a similar rhythm that he has in his life. Please read his post here.)

Questions

Have you ever experienced anything close to burnout? What practices or habits have you built into your life that have helped to energize and provide renewal?

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Uncovering Those Self-Imposed Rules

July 28, 2009 in Family/Marriage, Ministry, Relationships with 1 Comment

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Lately, I’ve been thinking about families who get swallowed up by the performance trap.

They seem to strive for the impossible. They are very busy people and their young children often look exhausted. You wonder when they ever enjoy just being with one another and enjoying one anothers presence.

Yet, quite often the children are involved in so many activities outside of school that the whole family is exhausted. They are constantly on the run.

This is not just about being busy. Rather, it is a view of life in which we almost fear that if we don’t collect as many different experiences as possible that we will miss something. Unfortunately, we often settle for skimming across the surface of life instead of traveling deeply. Instead of deeply experiencing life, we just skim across the top and move on to something else.

Some of us, in our busyness, live with some self-imposed rules that are rooted in our view of performance. For example, consider these self-imposed rules:

1. “I can’t make a mistake. Why that would be terrible! Since there is the possibility that I might make a mistake in this particular project, I won’t even try. I want to succeed, and that means playing it safe.”

With such a self-imposed rule, children may never develop the courage to risk or venture into new territory. They may become overly cautious instead of seeking new adventure. They may even hesitate to trust God if there seems to be risk involved.

2. “I will go all the way or not at all. Either I become a winner, the best, an expert, or I don’t want to be involved.” Really? Do we want to take this view about everything we do? Do we not have a sense of priority? Now, perhaps, I might take this view regarding my top priorities. However, there might be lesser priorities in my life that are not worthy of this level of commitment. For example, I may choose to have a lesser commitment in the way I wash my car, clean out the garage, or make my lunch. I may not want to be that intense about everything I do.

To have this level of intensity about most everything can make it very difficult for a family to have fun. Far too often, things get too intense and overly serious and kids learn that their family is really not very fun. (Is it possible to just play a game in a family without someone getting angry or putting down another person? Can we not just laugh and have fun?)

3. “I will get it done by myself. If I want something done right, I have to do it myself.” Some people believe it is a sign of weakness to admit they need help. Such a person often lives with the fear of looking foolish, inadequate, or just not knowing what to do.

Still others with this view, are not willing to work to develop people and bring others along. For example, there are some ministers who have the idea that ministry is about doing 25 different tasks in the name of “ministry.” They don’t take the time or make the effort to equip others. As a result, the people around them never develop and grow. Meanwhile, this minister either feels like a martyr (“this is my lot in life”) or feels resentful (“I have to do all of this work while they do nothing”).

Questions:

What other self-imposed rules, related to performance, seem to exist for some people? What is the downside of such a view of life?

The Kind of Friends I Really Need

July 27, 2009 in Relationships with 11 Comments

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Last week, we sat with about four hundred other people at one end of Court Street in Florence, Alabama. The occasion was the annual W. C. Handy Jazz Festival. (Florence is where Charlotte grew up and where her mother and sister/brother-in-law still live.) The annual W. C. Handy Festival is quite an event with jazz bands playing throughout the city for one week. During this week, different bands will play in parks, on the streets, in auditoriums, and in various other places. This was a unusually cool, July evening. One end of Court Street had been closed so that people could gather and enjoy this band. We were with longtime friends just listening to one particular band and enjoying the evening.

I am so thankful for friends. I recognize that I need different kinds of friends in my life. Throughout my life, God has blessed me with an assortment of friends. I have stayed in touch with some of these friends throughout the years. Other friends have a very significant place in my heart and memory, but we are rarely able to see one another.

Recently, I was thinking about the kind of friends I need:

1. I need the friends who have known me for a long time. Some of these friends I see more often than others. Yet, I am thankful for the occasions when I get to be with friends with whom I have shared some significant moments. I may not see these friends very often. Yet, when we are together, there continues to be a sense of connection.

2. I need the friends who inspire me to live better. When I am with these people, I want to live better.

3. I need the friends who stay in touch through e-mail, Facebook, Twitter, and occasional phone calls. Sometimes I take the initiative to connect. Sometimes they do. However, I am so thankful for these exchanges. For example, I am thankful that through Facebook, I enjoy the opportunity to reconnect with some old high school friends. We shared a significant time in life together, and it is good to be able to at least stay in contact through Facebook.

4. I need the friends who I am with on a casual basis. Some friends I meet at lunch or for coffee. Others I rarely spend time with and yet there is usually affirming, encouraging exchange when we are together. I am simply talking about the people who we share life with in the present. I am grateful for these people.

5. I need the friends who will let me be myself. What a gift! This is so different than being with people who seem to be critiquing or evaluating.

6. I need the friends who encourage me. These are friends who realize that sometimes I do get discouraged, whether I express this or not. So much of life can be very discouraging and draining. Being with an encourager is such a gift of grace.

7. I need older friends but I also need younger friends. Regardless of their age, I love to be with people who are still growing and thinking.

Yes, I understand that this is not the end of the story. I understand that as a Jesus follower that I will have a variety of people in my life. Not all of these people may be friends, at least in the way I have described some of the people I need in my life. Nevertheless, I am thankful for a few who will be friends. How important.

Yes, I also understand that I am called to be a friend to another person. I hope that I am a good friend to a few people, perhaps in some of the ways I have described.

Question:

What kind of friends do you need in your life?

Question: What Significant Questions Are Being Asked?

July 23, 2009 in Spiritual Life with 2 Comments

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It was a very fascinating discussion.

Charlotte and I were in Zagreb, Croatia. We were having dinner at the home of a very fine couple who are serving the Croatian people by leading a ministry training institute. The Biblical Institute is making a difference in the lives of students and ultimately the churches they serve. Also at this dinner were several Croatian ministers along with a number of other Christians from a congregation in Zagreb.

At one point during this dinner, I was visiting with the director of the Biblical Institute and asked him what significant questions were being asked by their students. He responded with these two observations:

1. “Many of our students want to know what authentic Christianity really looks like. They open their Bibles and examine what they read and measure it against traditional Christianity. The gaps and differences are obvious to them. They want to know why this is so. They want to follow the Bible wherever it might lead them.”

2. “These students want to know about the work of the Holy Spirit. Their questions typically are not about tongue speaking or other gifts like that. Rather, they want to know how the Holy Spirit sustains the church. How does the Holy Spirit work to provide ongoing power and endurance to a church?”

We had a wonderful discussion that evening. As we left their house that evening, I thought about questions that people have in the church where I serve. I also thought about some of the questions that I have been asked through this blog during the last few years.

Will you give this some thought? What significant questions do you hear others ask?

Questions:

What significant questions do you hear other Christians ask? What are three questions that you would like to see a church address?

“She Doesn’t Know How Pretty She Is”

July 22, 2009 in Ministry, Spiritual Life with 13 Comments

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I remember the Sunday morning that our friend made this statement. She was talking to Charlotte about her daughter-in-law. She beamed with admiration as she described a wonderful quality of her son’s wife. “She doesn’t know how pretty she is.”

This conversation took place one Sunday morning about a year ago when we were traveling and visiting another church. Charlotte and I were visiting with a young couple that morning who we have now been acquainted with for several years. We really like them both. They are good people and really have their heads on straight. He is a fun guy who laughs a lot but who also has a deep commitment to the Lord. She is a warm, attractive, young lady who, in conversation, has a way of really focusing on the other person. This young lady is not self-focused at all.

On this Sunday morning, Charlotte noticed that she looked especially nice in a particular dress. Charlotte complimented her on her appearance. Later, Charlotte expressed the same thought to her mother-in-law who was also a member of that church. Her mother-in-law smiled and acknowledged that her daughter-in-law did look nice. She then said, “The best thing is that she doesn’t know how pretty she is.”

Have you ever known someone who didn’t seem to realize just how effective, how impressive, or how attractive he/she really was to many others? Then, can you recall being in the presence of someone who seems quite impressed with himself or herself?

1. I know a man who did very well academically while in school. He earned the highest academic degree in his field. Unfortunately, he has a way of communicating to others that he sees himself as smarter than most people. Quite often this comes out in sarcastic humor. Whether or not he intends to communicate a feeling of superiority is not the point here. The point I am trying to make is that many others perceive him this way.

2. I once knew a woman who seemed to pride herself on her social sophistication. She saw herself as being “in the know” about so many things. She took pride in being aware of all the designer labels in women’s and men’s clothing. She took pride in what she knew about pop culture. When someone couldn’t identify a certain band or movie star, she had a way of making that person feel foolish. No graciousness here. Rather, she seemed to see these moments as opportunities to humiliate and embarrass.

3. I have known many, many ministers. Some ministers seem to forever be measuring themselves against other ministers. At times they seem to pride themselves on how well connected they are to other ministers who are highly visible, well known, etc. Meanwhile, they have a way of ignoring other ministers who would love to have a cup of coffee or in some way connect with them.

The ministers who impress me the most are those who seem to have little self-consciousness. These people don’t seem to be trying to impress or communicate that they are a cut above other ministers. In fact, I admire some of these people who don’t seem to be aware of just how impressive they really are.

Bottom Line: People who are not self-conscious do not have to constantly call attention to themselves. When we don’t have to be noticed, we are free to live for others.

What if you did not have to talk about your church as if it were the only game in town? You might be free to notice the good that other churches are doing.

What if you did not have to prove that you know more than others? You might be free to affirm another’s knowledge and insight.

What if you did not have to be noticed (in terms of your personal attractiveness)? You might be free to affirm another’s appearance.

What if you did not have to be all-knowing? You might be free to learn from others.

Perhaps the most impressive people are those who have no idea just how impressive they really are.

Places I’ve Been

July 21, 2009 in Places I've Been... with 2 Comments

Frank McCourt, author of Angela’s Ashes, dies at 78. Read this article regarding his high school teaching years: “A Storyteller Even as a Teacher.”

Don’t have a swimming pool during the hot, sweltering summer months? Check out the dumpster pool.

Read “Top Ten Ways to Ruin Young Pastors.” (Thanks to Andy Rowell for this link.)

Very interesting interview with Kevin Vanhoozer upon his move to Wheaton College and Graduate School in the Fall, 2009.

Michael Spencer has written a post entitled “What Might Boys Read?” You might skim through the many, many comments on this post. Very interesting.

Sam Rainer has written a post entitled “Signs of a Struggling Local Church.” Note this quote taken from the post:

We don’t take risks. Unfortunately, many church leaders have been beat up or burned. As a result, they focus more on not getting in trouble with their congregation than turning the world upside down for Jesus. They lead churches to play it safe rather than taking risks to reach more people.

“13 Idea Starters for Stuck Bloggers” by Michael Hyatt. I found this to be a very helpful post.

John Ortberg on “Hand Crafted” (God’s way of shaping and using us).

July Update

July 20, 2009 in Spiritual Life with 7 Comments

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After a two-week break, I am writing this blog again.

Charlotte and I have been on vacation, celebrating our 30th anniversary in Italy. This was our first visit there and we loved it. We spent time being tourists in some of the cities you might expect. We also spent time relaxing in the beautiful Tuscany and Cinque Terre areas. (The picture in today’s post is Vernazza, one of the Cinque Terre villages.) It was a wonderful trip that we enjoyed very much.

Last weekend, we went to Zagreb, Croatia, and spent Friday through Monday morning with Mladen and Dragica Jovanovic. (This was our first time in Croatia also.) Our church in Waco, Texas, has had a partnership with this couple for over three decades. The Jovanovics have spent many years working in Croatia to build up the church and plant new congregations. Last Sunday I preached for the congregation in Zagreb where their ministry is based.

Later that same day, I preached for the Zagreb Downtown Church. Charlotte and I spent time with two Croatian ministers, Mislav Ilic and Vlado Psenko. We were very impressed with both of these men. They impressed us with their love for God, their commitment to the believers in the Croatian congregations, and their gracious spirit.

While there we also spent time in Tom and Sandra Sibley’s home in Zagreb. Tom is the director of the Biblical Institute, a very fine school in Zagreb that is helping equip people for ministry. I am very impressed with the perspective and work of the Institute.   

We came away from our weekend trip to Croatia refreshed by the Christ-followers we met there and grateful for our relationships.

I am also grateful to be back to this blog. Thanks for coming here as well.

  

A Pause Until Monday, July 20

July 1, 2009 in Spiritual Life with 3 Comments

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Beginning today, I am on vacation. That also means that I am taking a vacation from this blog for a few weeks.

The next post will appear on Monday, July 20.

In the meantime, I want to tell you how much I appreciate you coming to this place. Many of you come here several times a week. Some of you read “A Place for the God Hungry” daily. I take none of this for granted. I am grateful.

A number of years ago, when I began writing this blog, I never really thought about how many people might eventually be reading it. It never occurred to me that regular readers would live all over the United States and in other countries as well. Today, I am so blessed that our paths have crossed.

I write these posts, primarily, for the daily encouragement of people who are just trying to deal with life. I post about a variety of things that interest me. At times, I will reflect on a book I read or something I saw in the news. I sometimes write posts for those who serve as ministers/pastors/church leaders, etc. Yet most of the time, these posts are intended to encourage in some way.

When I write, I will sometimes think about you sitting in front of your computer reading a post like this.

Some days, I will think about you…

  • … as a mother just trying to deal with life with all of its pressures and stresses. You have so much going on as you deal with your children, your spouse, your house, etc.
  • … as a single person, maybe divorced or maybe never married. Maybe you are thinking about the future and wondering what the future holds. You sometimes feel nervous about your job, the economy, and on and on. You try to remember to trust God each day.
  • … as a Christ-follower who is trying to stay on the right path. Yet, there are so many distractions and discouragements. You are thankful for God’s grace as he has forgiven your past sins and is now empowering you to live in the present moment.
  • … as a minister/pastor/church leader, etc. Or, maybe you are the spouse of someone in this role. Serving in a role like this (as a minister) can be very, very difficult. It can also be very lonely as you probably know. Perhaps at times you also deal with discouragement. I think about you as I write some of these posts.

So again, thanks for regularly coming to this place. See you Monday, July 20.