Comments on: 13 Ways to Hurt Your Marriage

By: Jim Martin

Jim Martin — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 10:58:43 +0000

Kelley,
Thanks very much for your comment. I appreciate your thoughts very much. Hope you will comment again.

By: Kelley Black

Kelley Black — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 22:43:33 +0000

@Tim Spivey Amen Tim Spivey!!

By: Kelley Black

Kelley Black — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 22:43:06 +0000

I am married and think this list is really appropriate. I second the gentleman who mentioned don’t invest in spiritual growth. A spiritual foundation is the rock of the whole thing. Everyone has to keep their frequency high so as not to drain the other half. NAAM Yoga is an amazing tool to do this as is it’s sister modality Harmonyum. They both open, heal the heart and keep the monkey mind/duality at bay. Staying healthy and happy is our birthright but we need to commit to separating from out body of pain and to being our highest self — as consistently as possible to make our relationships flourish. it’s the heart not the head

By: Jim Martin

Jim Martin — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 15:14:17 +0000

@Bluebearr Good thoughts. You are so right.

By: Jim Martin

Jim Martin — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 15:13:33 +0000

@Greg England Such a good example of what goes on far too often. So glad you not only spoke to those guys but communicated it here. Some of us are too hesitant to say something to even our closest friends. Thanks so much.

By: Bluebearr

Bluebearr — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 17:19:33 +0000

Yeah, I agree with Greg’s second point. I would state it as “Dishonor your spouse in public.” This really irritates me, as it not only spreads bad feeling about your spouse (which is bad), but also makes you look like a jerk (also bad) and as an fool for marrying such a loser in the first place (really bad). Nothing like casuing the collective expectation of those around you to be that your marriage isn’t going to last long.

Proverbs 14:1
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

By: Greg England

Greg England — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 22:40:47 +0000

For those who are believers, let the husband refuse to be the spiritual leader, or even a spiritual partner in the relationship.

Not related to the above, we have had two friendships in which the husband was constantly making jokes in which his wife was the brunt of the punchline. It made us very, very uncomfortable to be around them. I spoke with both men involved. One ended up in a divorce … the other has toned it down significantly. When he does it around us, I call him on it.

By: Jim Martin

Jim Martin — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 23:57:03 +0000

Tim,

Thank you for your kind words! You are a regular encourager to me regarding this blog. I appreciate this, as well as your friendship.

So very true regarding your comment about not investing in your spouse’s spiritual growth. Things do get weird in a hurry when a couple is not growing together.

By: Jim Martin

Jim Martin — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 23:51:50 +0000

Brad,
Very good! I appreciate this. You are right, this can be a very destructive issue.

Hope you are doing well.

By: Tim Spivey

Tim Spivey — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 15:57:15 +0000

Out of the park, Jim! Great post. I also agree with Brad’s addition. I might also add something like, “Don’t invest one another’s spiritual growth.” Sometimes, one person or the other grows or depletes much more than the other, and things get weird in a hurry.