Archive - October, 2009

Places I’ve Been

October 30, 2009 in Places I've Been... with 4 Comments

Tamara Buchan on “Kingdom Breakthroughs.” Very encouraging.

An update on the ministry of Pete Scazzero at his website, “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality.” I really like what he is emphasizing. This has the potential of helping to create healthier churches and church leaders.

All church leaders ought to read this post by Sam Rainer, “The Amiable Autocrat.”

Michael Hyatt has written a good post called “Five Characteristics of Weak Leaders.” This is a good post that caused me to think.

Tim Challies on “Sexual Detox I: Depornifying the Marriage Bed.” Challies discusses the problem of bringing porn use into a marriage.

Read Terry Rush on “Seven Traits of a Good Elder.”

You might note D.J. Chuang’s site which focuses on the works of Tim Keller. Many, many resources here.

Andy Rowell reports on the publisher’s panel at Duke. ” I Want to Publish a Book Someday. What Do I Do Now?” I saved this one!

Scot McKnight is doing a series on Tim Keller’s new book, Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Love, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope That Matters.

Take What You Need (The Edge on Generosity)

October 29, 2009 in Grace with 5 Comments

Tom Long tells the story of one of his students who went home to Baltimore and was driving around in his car with his father. As they drove, they talked about the plight of the inner city. Finally, after some time they thought they should call home and tell the rest they were on the way and would be home in time for dinner. hand_out_money.jpg

At the edge of the park, they saw a pay phone and began walking toward it (This alone sets this story back a few years, doesn’t it)? A person, who was apparently homeless, approached them and asked, “Do you have any spare change?” The young man’s father had a pocket full of change. He dug it out and held in both hands a lot of change. “Here, take what you need.” The guy couldn’t believe he had been encouraged to take what he needed. He thought, “I’ll take it all.” So, he took all of the man’s change and put it in his pocket.

The young man and his father walked away and about ten steps later realized they had been on their way to the pay phone and had now given away all of their change. The father called back to the homeless man and said, “Excuse me; I just gave you every bit of change I had and I need to make a telephone call. I wonder if I could have just 25 cents back.” The homeless person turned around, put the change in his hand, and said, “Here, take what you need.”

As my friend Tim Spivey reminded me recently, God is a generous giver. God has said to all of us, “Here, take what you need.” Every day we enjoy what actually belongs to him. Now we are in the position to be generous, whether we have our hands full of change or whether we have just a few coins like the widow who put two mites into the treasury. We have the opportunity to reflect the goodness and the mercy of God and to say to the world, “Here, take what you need.”

Now that is our God!

Take what you need.

He is generous. He is giving. He is completely over the top when it comes to caring for you and me. Unbelievable.

The next time I am tempted to be stingy with my encouragement, my forgiveness, my time, or my money, I want to remember that when God deals with us, he gives.

Take what you need.

When You Are In a Dark Hole and Can’t Get Out

October 28, 2009 in Ministry, My Story, Self-Care, Stress with 4 Comments

I was nervous.depression2.jpg

I sat in a chair, of a large counseling center located just off the Country Club Plaza in Kansas City. I had begun seeing this counselor just a few weeks earlier. I was there because I was struggling with depression.

I was in the middle of a church situation that was tough – very tough. I wasn’t handling it well emotionally. (To think of this in terms of systems thinking, I wasn’t “managing myself” very well.)

Life at this church was not good. Oh, there were some wonderful people at this church. The conflict at this church was by no means a reflection on most of these people. Yet, deep – seated conflict existed in the underbelly of this church. It was present before I came, and it was there after I left.

Whispering.

Gossip.

Ungodly attitudes and words.

I wasn’t sure whom to trust. I felt betrayed by a few people I thought were friends.

Meanwhile, I was second – guessing myself on a number of fronts. I second – guessed my preaching, my decisions, and my conversations. I wondered if life would ever get better. I felt as if I was in a dark, deep hole and unable to get out. Quite often, I sat in a pool of self – pity, condemning the situation and then feeling less than for not handling it better.

I decided to see a counselor after a push from my wife and our family physician. This counselor was male, about ten years older than I. He had a relaxed easygoing manner. I liked that he didn’t have that therapeutic voice. No, he seemed more like a regular person whose job it was to help someone like me who felt stuck. As I returned for numerous visits, I felt more and more free to talk openly. I realized that if was going to be able to serve in a church, I was going to have to learn how to do so without it destroying me.

That was some years ago.

Right now I am thinking about ministers who are in this same situation and who wonder how it will all play out.

I also think about the spouses of these ministers who watch their loved one in such situation lose their spirit, confidence, and who now feel such discouragement.

Question

Does this sound familiar to you? Have you experienced such difficulties in your life? Have you known others who have? What was helpful?


21st Century Ministry and 2 Corinthians (Part 4)

October 27, 2009 in Jesus, Leadership, Ministry with 2 Comments

Many Christians feel tired and worn out. 2 Corinthians 3:1-6 contains an important reminder that the incredible change one experiences as a Christian is not an act of the will but an act of Jesus through the Spirit of God.   Great_Books.jpg

This means that being an effective Christ-follower in the 21st century is not a matter of you being smart enough, witty enough, or even insightful enough. Rather, the essence of what it means to live in Christ is produced by Jesus through the Spirit of God. Furthermore, this means that the essence of ministry is found in what Christ is doing through the Spirit of God. Our ministry is not based on ourselves and our ingenuity.

Jesus, through the Spirit of God, is writing a masterpiece.

Think for a moment about tattoos. What are they? Ink underneath the skin. The tattoo artist works for a while and then leaves the customer with the picture or the image. He may make a mark on the skin but it never goes beyond anything that is skin deep. When Jesus lives in you, he works on you through God’s Spirit. His work isn’t limited to the skin. No, what he is writing is not on stone or flesh but on your heart.

He is creating a masterpiece. Think for a moment about some of the masterpieces in the western world.   

·      To Kill a Mockingbird

·      The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

·      Hamlet

·      Gone with the Wind

·      The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

·      The Lord of the Rings

·      Winnie-the-Pooh

·      The Black Stallion

·      Charlotte’s Web

·      War and Peace

So let us think about this reality:

·      Jesus is writing a masterpiece: you. In fact, this is something that will be read by all who have the opportunity.   You won’t find this at Barnes & Noble or on Amazon. You will find this masterpiece by looking in the mirror. Don’t get distracted by your ears, skin, height or weight. I am not talking about self-esteem, either the lack of it or the importance of it. Rather, I am talking about you and me not minimizing what God is doing in our lives. You are God’s masterpiece because it is God who is writing on your heart. Once God through his Spirit begins to write on your heart, you will never be the same.

What can others read? The question is not just what are we telling. What are we showing? Our mission requires speaking and incarnation (Jesus living in me and in us).

·      Let us be cautious about telling truth while we neglect doing truth.

·      Our ministry is an incarnational ministry that displays God’s masterpieces. This means that we believe that Christ really does live in us individually and as a church.

·      What makes a church is not a building but a mission.

·      Our mission is expressed in both words (2:17) and transformed lives (3:1-3).  

·      Knowing that God is preparing a masterpiece gives us confidence.  

Question

Why do some Christ-followers seem to often feel overwhelmed, worn out, and exhausted than energized and refreshed?


Why I Read These Blogs (Part 1)

October 25, 2009 in Places I've Been... with 1 Comment

What do you read and why?

I want to mention a few blogs and tell you why I read them. This list is not a “top ten.” The numbers are not a rank of any kind. Rather, this list is a sampling of some blogs which I enjoy. Perhaps one or more of these will be useful to you.

1. Scot McKnight Scot writes about books, the church, ministry, Scripture, and numerous other interesting topics. Authors and publishers should be grateful for this blog. I have purchased a number of books because of his reviews and recommendations. I suspect that many, many others would echo this.

2. Michael Hyatt. Hyatt’s blog is interesting to me because he addresses leadership, technology, writing and numerous other subjects. I find him to be very helpful in understanding the value of technology such as Twitter.

3. Jeff Berryman. I have recently become acquainted with Jeff’s blog. He is a great storyteller. On several occasions, I have found myself lost in one of his stories.

4. Mike Cope. Mike is a good thinker as well as a good Bible student. I check his blog frequently to see what is on his mind.

5. L. L. Barkat. L. L. is a writer, who has both the heart and skill of a poet. Her words feel both purposeful and unhurried.

6. Skye Jethani. Skye has a heart for ministry and it is reflected in his work. If you have not listened to his presentation from “The Nines,” I would encourage you to do so.

7. John Frye. I first became acquainted with John through his book, Jesus the Radical Pastor. John is a thinker with good insights regarding pastoral ministry.

8. Anne Jackson. I read Anne, in part, because of her honesty. Right now, I am particularly interested in her “Permission to Speak Freely” project.

9. John Stackhouse. I read this blog because Stackhouse makes me think. I may agree with him or disagree with him. His words, however, regularly stimulate my thinking.

10. John Mark HIcks. John Mark is a theologian, a thinker, and person deeply committed to ministry. He helps me think about the theology behind what we do as churches.

(To be continued)

The Silence that Kills

October 22, 2009 in Encouragement with 2 Comments

Silence is not always golden. Sometimes it is deadly.

silence.jpg

The following are some occasions when silence does its damage:

  • You work for a small company. You have been a loyal, dependable employee for the last ten years. You have had a variety of jobs in this company. No matter what you have been asked to do, you always try to do your work well. Yet, you feel taken for granted by your boss. You can’t remember the last time she expressed appreciation or thanked you for something you did.
  • You are a stay-at-home mom. You hardly stop from the time the children get up in the morning until you go to bed at night. Yet, your husband doesn’t even seem to notice. You can’t remember the last time that he complimented you for a meal or the appearance of the house.
  • You are a teacher. You don’t teach in the public school system for the money. You would have never entered this profession if that were the case. You work many, many hours so that you can provide quality education for your students. Yet, you feel taken for granted by some parents. Even though you work very long hours, your rarely hear a thank you from either students or parents.
  • You have been married for fifteen years. You love your spouse. Yet, sometimes you feel as if she takes you for granted. She complains regularly about your finances. She continues to fuss at you for not taking the other job that was offered to you six months ago. You are exhausted at the end of a work week and do not feel appreciated.
  • You are a teenager. You are very insecure about your appearance. You told your dad that you bought a new dress and that you wanted to try it on for him. You put on the dress and then walked into the living room where he was sitting in his regular chair, watching ESPN. You waited for him to say something. He hardly moved his eyes from the television. All you wanted was his approval about your appearance and yet he remained silent. Now you feel silly for ever trying the dress on in the first place.   
  • You are a minister. Many times, you don’t feel appreciated or affirmed in your work. You were at a meeting not long ago where several people made back – handed, insulting remarks about your ministry. Yet, no one rose to your defense. They all remained silent. The negative remarks hurt. Yet, perhaps what hurt even more, was the silence of your friends.

I want the wisdom to know when it is best to be silent and when it is unthinkable to remain silent.


Questions:

Can you relate to this. Have there been times when the silence of others has been discouraging and even painful?

Away and Now Back

October 21, 2009 in Leadership, Mentoring, Ministry with 1 Comment

lipscomb.jpg

Those of you who read this blog regularly have probably noticed that I have posted very little in the last week.   

On Thursday evening through Saturday morning, I attended the Lipscomb University Conference on Preaching. Speakers included Scot McKnight, Tom Long, Tremper Longman, Richard Ward, and Dave Bland. I really enjoy this conference. The subject was the Wisdom literature (Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, etc.). For two days, we were immersed in this literature by some of the best scholars and authors on these books. The conference was also very, very practical.

This was not only a good time to learn and grow in this area, but it was also a great time to see friends. I saw friends at this conference I rarely get to see but who mean so much to me.

Then, Sunday evening through Tuesday, I was in Kerrville, Texas, at the Mentoring Partners Retreat (Mentor Network ministry). This is a ministry that was founded by Lynn Anderson a number of years ago. Through Mentor Network, hundreds of ministers and other church leaders have been mentored, counseled, and encouraged by Lynn Anderson and/or other Mentoring Partners. It was good to be with Lynn and Carolyn Anderson for a few days as well as the others, who are church leaders from across the country.   

I typically do not schedule seminars/conferences back to back. However, I made an exception for these two events. They are very valuable to me. I encourage you, if you are interested, to look at the Lipscomb University Conference on Preaching website or the Mentor Network.org website.

Question: What Body Issues Are a Part of Our World in 2009?

October 12, 2009 in Self-Care, Spiritual Life, Stress with 10 Comments


Recently, one of my daughters sent this video to me. This pressure is very real.


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We live in a time of great confusion about the body. Think about what we talk about or experience in this culture. We have conversations about:

  • Obesity
  • Anorexia
  • Botox
  • Breast Augmentation
  • Pornography
  • Cosmetic surgery
  • Thinness
  • Starving, gorging, and purging ourselves
  • Exercise
  • Body image
  • Sexual abuse
  • Physical abuse
  • Cosmetics, diets, clothes
  • Body Dysmorphic Disorder (imagined ugliness)
  • Bulimia
  • Fitness
  • Sexuality

Questions:

What should Christians be saying about the body? What other body issues would you add to this list? What stress do people face today because of the culture’s view of the body?

You might read the paragraph below:

“. . . It is important to discover the emotions and feelings that underlie your negative body image. The statement ‘I feel fat’ is never really about fat, even if you are overweight. Each time a woman looks at herself in the mirror and says ‘Gross, I’m fat and disgusting,’ she is really saying ‘There is something wrong with me or with what I’m feeling.’ When we do not know how to deal with our feelings we turn to our bodies and blame our bodies for our feelings. Every time you say ‘I’m fat’ you are betraying your body, and you are betraying and ignoring your underlying feelings. Remember that ‘fat’ is never a feeling, it’s avoidance of feelings. Learn to discover your emotions and feelings and realize that focusing on your body is only distracting you from what is ‘really’ bothering you.” Nicole Hawkins, Eating Disorder Referral Information Center

21st Century Ministry and 2 Corinthians (Part 4)

October 7, 2009 in Ministry with 3 Comments

Two ministers are about to begin a new work with two different congregations. God'shands.jpeg

Minister 1 is going to a congregation that is large, with ample financial resources and a creative staff. The church is located in a fast growing suburb just outside one of this nation’s incredible cities. This minister’s friends hear about the move and they are delighted for their friend. This seems like a wonderful situation for this minister.

Minister 2 is going to a congregation that is much smaller and has a building that is older and requires much maintenance. The church is located in a dying community in a city where unemployment is very high. This church has a history of problems. Division. Immorality. A nasty lawsuit. Even their assemblies reflect the self-centeredness of these people. Yet, this minister is going to work with them anyway. The minister’s friends hear about this future move and they are concerned. (Actually, they wonder if their friend has lost his mind.)

The truth? Both of these churches may actually be triumphal in God’s eyes. Yet, they may be triumphal for reasons that do not appear to the eye.

Triumphal?

(Note 2 Corinthians 2:14-17.)

This is usually not the word that we use today to describe a church that is doing well. We might speak of a successful church or even an awesome congregation. We may talk about the size of the church, the “phenomenal growth,” the number of people in the church, the cutting edge technology, etc. We may speak of a congregation as being one of “our most influential churches.”

The minister/pastor/church leader, on the other hand, may speak of some of the high profile conferences at which he has spoken recently. Some will speak of how the church has grown wherever this person has been. Some will drop names so that everyone realizes this person knows important or visible people.

All of this typically communicates a view of success.

Meanwhile, Paul uses the word “triumphal.”

What is really odd abut this is that he is speaking to the Corinthians. He tells them how God has led them in triumphal procession in Christ. Now I have to tell you, there are some churches that don’t seem very successful to me. In fact, some appear to be one royal mess. If someone were talking to the church at Corinth and considering a ministry with them, I might warn that person: “Don’t go near that church! What a mess!”

Yet, in Christ, God leads us in triumphal procession. The triumph that the church experiences is led by God and is because of Jesus. So where is Paul? Where are the elders? Where are the pastors? Where are the ministers? Where are all of the other church leaders?

They are in the procession. Slaves. Servants. Their weakness is on display not their strength. It is God’s strength that is on display as exhibited in Jesus. It is in the knowledge of Jesus that we become a fragrance. This fragrance is life-giving to those who are being saved. To those who are perishing, it is the smell of death.

Successful church?

Successful ministry?

Successful minister?

Yes. Yes. Yes.

The success, however, is focused on what God has done in Jesus.   

Consequently, 21st century ministry …

1. … is based upon God’s leading.

2. … happens as the fragrance of the knowledge of Jesus spreads.

3. … finds its power and effectiveness in what God does – not in what we do. We are not equal to such a task.     

Question:

If we really believe that God in Christ causes us to have an aroma (the aroma of Christ), how might we change the way we minister?

“But What about Me?” The Curse of Self-Consciousness

October 6, 2009 in Emotional Maturity, Jesus with 4 Comments

It was an interesting moment.catandmirror-281x300.jpg

I was a freshman in high school. A photographer was present to take school pictures. That morning, he was taking pictures of our high school basketball team. I was in the gym and for a few minutes watched as the photographer first took a team picture and then took individual photos. Off to the side was an older kid waiting his turn, along with several others on the team. He took a jump shot and then turned to one of his friends and asked:

“How did I look?”

It struck me that not only did he want to have his picture taken but that he also wanted to have a certain look. He was self-conscious.

Yet, self-consciousness can actually work against you. Jesus said that to follow him meant that one must “deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23). He reminds us that “whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it” (9:24).

In fact, it is possible to think so much about myself that I actually lose or forfeit the self in the process. Again, Jesus says, “What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self” (9:25)?

When I am overly self-conscious, I am very, very focused on what is happening to me. Being overly self-conscious is a skewed way of looking at one’s self.

Am I preoccupied with what another thinks about me? (I am not really focused on that person but on myself.)

Am I preoccupied with the image that I am projecting to others? (I am more concerned with what that person thinks of me than on loving that person.)

Am I preoccupied with keeping score in my life, comparing myself to another? (I am thinking about whether or not that person has a bigger home, better car, than me, etc.)

When I first started working in my role as a minister, I felt behind. I felt as if other ministers knew more, had better skills, and were probably doing better work than me. Now I had no reason think this way. Yet, I did. I was overly self-conscious. Consequently, receiving a compliment or a word of affirmation meant far too much to me. It was almost as if receiving these words validated my existence. If no one expressed a word of affirmation or encouragement after I preached, I would sometimes wonder what was wrong with me.

Whether or not I received invitations to speak at special events or at other churches meant far too much to me. If I received an invitation to speak somewhere, it seemed to validate my existence. However, if I did not, I would again wonder what was wrong with me. Or, I would simply assume that I was lacking or did not measure up in some way.

Now I realize that I was finding my identity and sense of well being in some source other than Jesus.

Today, I want to remember:

I have been called to love others rather than constantly be preoccupied with myself.

My greatest sense of well being and completeness comes from Jesus.

Human affirmation is nice but it comes and goes. The most consistent and meaningful affirmation that I will ever experience comes from God himself.


Question:

What helps you to be more God-conscious and less preoccupied with yourself?

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