Comments on: Question: What Do Young Women Need to Know?

By: Kyrbie White

Kyrbie White — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:33:31 +0000

I can definitely agree with the second point you made Mr. Martin: “Some women feel confused regarding marriage. What am I supposed to do as a wife on a daily basis? How can I make this marriage last?”

As a 25 year old wife of 3.5 years, it has definitely been a bumpy road trying to figure out how I’m supposed to be a young Godly, successful, submissive wife in the world we live in. Everywhere we turn, we have people telling us women don’t need to rely on men for anything and “we can do it” all ourselves. We are taught to get an education and become successful so that we can make it on our own. Yet, the church teaches us to be submissive and to allow our husbands to be the leader of the household. As a social worker, I work in a very liberal environment. Many of the women that I interact with everyday want to feel respected and “equal” to their male peers, but at the same time, they want to be treated special and pampered by men because they are ladies. How does this coincide? It is so confusing.

My thought that I think young women should know is this: There is a way to be a Godly successful wife while at the same time being a submissive wife and respecting your husband’s role as the head of the household. I don’t know the magic “how to” formula and I know it’s not easy, but I also know God blesses our intentional prayers to become the Godly wife he designed us to be. My one suggestion would be for women to stay away from reality TV shows and other forms of the media that tempt us to crave the selfish lifestyle that our world advertizes to be so fulfilling.

By: Jim Martin

Jim Martin — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 11:38:44 +0000

Lauren, I love what you say here! In particular, I was struck by what you said in your first point. “Confidence in the lord and Christlikeness is beautiful.” Is that ever true! Contrast this to the intense pressure so many women feel to look a certain way due to various media. I think you are wise by the way, to limit your exposure to the kinds of influences which have a way of promoting other values. I also like, the way you view your life with your husband/children as your ministry. Very good! Such a view has a way of elevating the conversation about marriage/parenting because it is understood that you do this as one serving God, caring for people who have been entrusted to your ministry.

By: Lauren Satterfield

Lauren Satterfield — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 18:47:06 +0000

What I think all women need to know is to
1) I think this applies to women of all ages: Confidence in the Lord and Christlikeness is beautiful. So many women feel the pressure to spend a lot of time, energy, money on being more beautiful on the outside, which might be noticed in people’s first impressions and circles that are superficial, but all of this is truly meaningless and leads to emptiness if you put your value in this. Replace that time with time spent with Jesus, and you’ll see very clearly that the Lord loves the YOU (the person He made beautifully), and He satisfies you in a way that nothing/no one else can. Also, for me, staying away from 99% of the tv shows, movies, and magazines out there helps a ton. They will bombard you with lies that contradict this, and you end up having to fight really hard to not believe them.

2) Single women: Do not settle just to get married. Pray for God to lead you to the best man for you and wait! Even if it takes a really long time! Yes, this is much easier said than done, but you will have no regrets if you do this!

3) Young mothers: Don’t be hard on yourself. I am a young mother and struggle with this often. I think it’s so easy for us to do, but we have to 1) keep perspective and know that all of the little mundane things you do each day that are not appreciated by your children are making a difference. It is an important ministry, and I try to remember that I’m serving God while comforting my child, doing the laundry, explaining why we can’t have cookies before breakfast for the 100th time, disciplining, etc. 2) read, read, read the Bible and pray, pray, pray. If you make communication and a close relationship with Jesus a priority, your family will stay on the right track. We all make mistakes, don’t say the right thing, don’t do the right thing, etc. as wives and mothers daily, but if we wake up each morning striving (sometimes having to just start over:)) to love our husbands and children, then our ministry will stay on the right track. For me, this is much easier the days I start with talking to Jesus. This can be a daily struggle for me, but it’s always worth it!

By: Jim Martin

Jim Martin — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 18:49:56 +0000

Audra, I like what you said in your first sentence: “…know who you are and most importantly whose you are.” How important! To know your identity and to know who you belong to. So many people rock along for years trying to prove something or trying to measure up. Usually this is about trying to measure up to someone’s idea of what a beautiful/successful/together person is really like. I like what you stress which is the importance of knowing who you really are in Jesus and who you belong to. Thanks so much Audra.

By: Audra

Audra — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 03:31:25 +0000

I would LOVE to tell all the young girls out there to ALWAYS be true to themselves and know who you are and most importantly whose you are. I was so blessed (and still am!) to have grown up in such a loving Christian home where my parents taught me the true meaning of love. Just by knowing who God is and how powerful his love is can go such a long way, even when you are young. As a young woman you have an array of opportunities to be an example to your peers. You will never know how many lives you can touch just by letting others see God’s love in the way you talk, play sports, cheer, etc., and how you treat others around you. One of my absolute favorite verses in the Bible…. Galations 5:22- “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” I want so badly to portray these qualities, because this is who Christ is! From high school to college and even now this verse always knocks me to my knees and reminds me how loving our God is. God is ALWAYS there for you!

By: Jim Martin

Jim Martin — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 02:13:15 +0000

Emily, I like your comment — a lot. In particular, I like what you say about the importance of learning to replace the lies (regarding body image for example) with truth. That truth, as you note, can only be found in God’s word. (As you note, for example, in pointing out Ps. 139:14.) Yet, so many people have bought these lies and believe (again regarding body image) that they are flawed, less than, inferior, worth less than another, etc. Thanks so much for what you said.

By: Jim Martin

Jim Martin — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 02:08:35 +0000

Lindsay, what you say is very good. You are right, there is more than one way to be a woman of God. What comes through your comment is that you clearly understand the point — being a woman of God. As you say so well, how this plays out in the lives of women is going to be different. We really shouldn’t expect everyone to look the same, act the same, make the same decisions, etc.

By: Jim Martin

Jim Martin — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 02:02:35 +0000

Lourene, thanks so much for this. I can relate to what you said regarding having a daughter in her 20′s etc. I love what you say regarding wanting her to know that God really is at work in her to bless and equip her to be a blessing to others. So right! She and others her age do not have to wait to be used by God to fulfill his purposes.

By: Jim Martin

Jim Martin — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:06:00 +0000

Greg, your daughter is very blessed to have you for a father. What an important ministry you had during what is often such a difficult time of life for a young woman. Yet, there you were, reminding her of God’s love and her father’s love. How important!

By: Greg England

Greg England — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 19:23:45 +0000

Having a daughter, this blog was important to me, though mostly in retrospect as she’s grown and has been out on her own for several years. She is a very beautiful young lady both physically and spiritually. She’s a bit too “liberal” for me politically, but we don’t talk much politics. No need to mess up a beautiful relationship. When she was growing up and under all the pressure to be slim and pretty and all the other stuff, I always made sure she knew that so long as she knew and was assured of God’s love and her parent’s love (especially her father’s love) little else mattered in comparison. She seemed to grasp that early on in her life.