Comments on: 41 Things Married People Ought to Know (Part 3) http://godhungry.org/2009/11/22/41-things-married-people-ought-to-know-part-3/ Attempting to connect life to what matters most Sun, 05 Sep 2010 18:03:02 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Jim Martin http://godhungry.org/2009/11/22/41-things-married-people-ought-to-know-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-7028 Jim Martin Mon, 30 Nov 2009 03:23:45 +0000 http://godhungry.org/?p=3246#comment-7028 L.L., I saw your name on a comment and then saw that you changed your mind regarding the comment. I suspect this was a very good comment that I and others missed. Maybe next time. :) L.L., I saw your name on a comment and then saw that you changed your mind regarding the comment. I suspect this was a very good comment that I and others missed. Maybe next time. :)

]]> By: Ted M. Gossard http://godhungry.org/2009/11/22/41-things-married-people-ought-to-know-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-7027 Ted M. Gossard Sat, 28 Nov 2009 17:43:12 +0000 http://godhungry.org/?p=3246#comment-7027 Good post and good thoughts. I can identify with more than one of them, and they're all good. Good post and good thoughts. I can identify with more than one of them, and they’re all good.

]]> By: Matt @ The Church of No People http://godhungry.org/2009/11/22/41-things-married-people-ought-to-know-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-7026 Matt @ The Church of No People Fri, 27 Nov 2009 17:00:00 +0000 http://godhungry.org/?p=3246#comment-7026 Hey Jim, I just found your blog, and your list is spot on. After a list like that, I don't think I can add anything of substance. Looking forward to combing through your past posts. Keep up the good work. Hey Jim, I just found your blog, and your list is spot on. After a list like that, I don’t think I can add anything of substance. Looking forward to combing through your past posts. Keep up the good work.

]]> By: L.L. Barkat http://godhungry.org/2009/11/22/41-things-married-people-ought-to-know-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-7025 L.L. Barkat Thu, 26 Nov 2009 00:41:54 +0000 http://godhungry.org/?p=3246#comment-7025 Well... never mind. :) I think I shall keep this one in my heart. :) Well…

never mind. :)

I think I shall keep this one in my heart. :)

]]> By: Jim Martin http://godhungry.org/2009/11/22/41-things-married-people-ought-to-know-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-7024 Jim Martin Wed, 25 Nov 2009 13:13:22 +0000 http://godhungry.org/?p=3246#comment-7024 Greg, I guess the Rabbi's approach is one way to handle that problem! You are right. He will probably never violate #26. :) Greg, I guess the Rabbi’s approach is one way to handle that problem! You are right. He will probably never violate #26. :)

]]> By: Jim Martin http://godhungry.org/2009/11/22/41-things-married-people-ought-to-know-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-7023 Jim Martin Wed, 25 Nov 2009 13:10:50 +0000 http://godhungry.org/?p=3246#comment-7023 Keith, yes #27 has appeared in several forms in this list. It is hard to get away from it as an issue. :) Thanks for your perspective regarding how this might be perceived by some singles. You make a good point in your explanation. In making this point, I am mostly thinking about a few people I have known who seem to think that marriage takes no effort. Consequently, they really frustrate their wives who may be willing to do most anything to help the relationship while their spouses don't see a reason to put forth some effort in the relationship. Keith, yes #27 has appeared in several forms in this list. It is hard to get away from it as an issue. :) Thanks for your perspective regarding how this might be perceived by some singles. You make a good point in your explanation. In making this point, I am mostly thinking about a few people I have known who seem to think that marriage takes no effort. Consequently, they really frustrate their wives who may be willing to do most anything to help the relationship while their spouses don’t see a reason to put forth some effort in the relationship.

]]> By: Jim Martin http://godhungry.org/2009/11/22/41-things-married-people-ought-to-know-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-7022 Jim Martin Wed, 25 Nov 2009 13:04:12 +0000 http://godhungry.org/?p=3246#comment-7022 Sherry, I appreciate your comment. I think one of the most challenging places to be in a marriage (for a Christian) is when you and your spouse just aren't in the same place spiritually. This can be really difficult as often happens very slowly for a variety of reasons. This obviously has you concerned. I suspect that others who read your comment will identify as well. Thanks for the affirmation as to the importance of #29. Sherry, I appreciate your comment. I think one of the most challenging places to be in a marriage (for a Christian) is when you and your spouse just aren’t in the same place spiritually. This can be really difficult as often happens very slowly for a variety of reasons. This obviously has you concerned. I suspect that others who read your comment will identify as well. Thanks for the affirmation as to the importance of #29.

]]> By: Greg England http://godhungry.org/2009/11/22/41-things-married-people-ought-to-know-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-7021 Greg England Tue, 24 Nov 2009 20:04:33 +0000 http://godhungry.org/?p=3246#comment-7021 Always enjoy your blogs, Jim. Yesterday a rabbi came by the mortuary and introduced himself to us. My wife stuck out here hand to shake his. He put both hands in the air and said, "I don't touch any woman but my wife. Keeps me out of a lot of trouble." I thought that was quite an over-reaction, but to each his / her own, I suppose. My point being, he will probably never violate #26! Always enjoy your blogs, Jim. Yesterday a rabbi came by the mortuary and introduced himself to us. My wife stuck out here hand to shake his. He put both hands in the air and said, “I don’t touch any woman but my wife. Keeps me out of a lot of trouble.” I thought that was quite an over-reaction, but to each his / her own, I suppose. My point being, he will probably never violate #26!

]]> By: Keith Schooley http://godhungry.org/2009/11/22/41-things-married-people-ought-to-know-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-7020 Keith Schooley Tue, 24 Nov 2009 12:43:25 +0000 http://godhungry.org/?p=3246#comment-7020 Jim, I've enjoyed your blog for a long time, and this is a very good series. I notice that #27 has reappeared under various guises at several points in the list, and I totally agree: the number one marriage killer is selfishness--focusing on what I want, not on what's best for us. I think that #22 ("Marriage is hard work") is true, but comes off as scary to singles. When I was single, I heard so much about marriage being hard work that it freaked me out a little--who wants a second job with no pay and intangible benefits? But marriage shouldn't be hard work in that sense. I find it to be hard work like the effort you put into a much-loved hobby. It might be difficult, but you don't begrudge it. Your focus isn't on the work, but on the result of your efforts. I think that's how it's intended to be. Jim, I’ve enjoyed your blog for a long time, and this is a very good series. I notice that #27 has reappeared under various guises at several points in the list, and I totally agree: the number one marriage killer is selfishness–focusing on what I want, not on what’s best for us.

I think that #22 (“Marriage is hard work”) is true, but comes off as scary to singles. When I was single, I heard so much about marriage being hard work that it freaked me out a little–who wants a second job with no pay and intangible benefits? But marriage shouldn’t be hard work in that sense. I find it to be hard work like the effort you put into a much-loved hobby. It might be difficult, but you don’t begrudge it. Your focus isn’t on the work, but on the result of your efforts. I think that’s how it’s intended to be.

]]> By: Sherry Dale http://godhungry.org/2009/11/22/41-things-married-people-ought-to-know-part-3/comment-page-1/#comment-7019 Sherry Dale Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:59:39 +0000 http://godhungry.org/?p=3246#comment-7019 Thank you for providing the critically important information on marriage. I really don't feel like our churches spend enough time and teaching on the subject. I can relate my marriage to number 29. I am experiencing two issues relating to this item. One is that my husband is consumed with his work. I think it is more than a passion to him. He neglects his own health and even opportunities to attend church during the week. Concern number two is that we don't both feel quite the same spiritually. We worship together, which is important. However, during the last few years of turmoil, I have suggested prayer together on several occasions. He just doesn't seem to need the same. I think without the proper balance in a marriage, we are apt to fail. thank you. Thank you for providing the critically important information on marriage. I really don’t feel like our churches spend enough time and teaching on the subject.
I can relate my marriage to number 29. I am experiencing two issues relating to this item. One is that my husband is consumed with his work. I think it is more than a passion to him. He neglects his own health and even opportunities to attend church during the week.
Concern number two is that we don’t both feel quite the same spiritually. We worship together, which is important. However, during the last few years of turmoil, I have suggested prayer together on several occasions. He just doesn’t seem to need the same.
I think without the proper balance in a marriage, we are apt to fail.

thank you.

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