Comments on: 21 Ways to Upgrade Your Relationships (Part 2)

By: Jim Martin

Jim Martin — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 04:18:01 +0000

Yes, Alison what you say does make a lot of sense. I like what you stress here. The easy thing to do is not necessarily the most productive. The things that come hard are often the things that ultimately bear good fruit. Thanks.

By: Alison

Alison — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 05:16:08 +0000

It’s striking that the most important things we can do are often very difficult. Could it be that if they were easy, we wouldn’t want to do them, or even if we did want to do them, we wouldn’t mean them?
I think the difficulties in these things (such as being quick to admit fault and apologize) are there in order to help us be intentional in them. Apologizing shouldn’t come easy; if it did, it would just be an empty phrase, nothing more.
It is the same for critquing friends and family. It’s far too easy to pick on problems; far harder to praise for good things. I’ve learned through work experience that whenever I want to give a corrective, to balance it with something that the employee is doing well. This helps him to know that I’m there to support him unconditionally in making progress, not just correct things that”should” be corrected. The most important thing, I’ve learned, in these circumstances (and certainly in a family setting) is to let the people you’re relating to know that you believe in them, something they don’t often hear if you’re just picking on problems. Don’t know if that makes any sense, but it’s what I think.

By: Jim Martin

Jim Martin — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 04:11:17 +0000

Thank you Ann. It is interesting that some of the most important things that we can are often very difficult but nevertheless are so important. At least I have found this to be true in my life.

By: Ann Kroeker

Ann Kroeker — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 01:47:50 +0000

Good points–being quick to apologize is so hard but so important.