Archive - May, 2010

The One Quality that Makes Some People so Likable

May 31, 2010 in Grace with 4 Comments

I really like to be around certain people.

While I am with and around a lot of people, there are some people I particularly enjoy being with.

Now let me quickly say that as a Christ-follower, I am called to love and serve all kinds of people. I am not cafriends-shadow.jpglled to love the people I particularly enjoy while neglecting others. Yet, at the same time, I have to admit that there are some people who are particularly likable and enjoyable.

What characterizes these people?

These people are gracious.

Think for a moment about the difference between the gracious and the ungracious:

The gracious listen, learn, and grow. Rather than being self-absorbed, they ask questions and want to know about your life and your thoughts. Meanwhile, the ungracious think they have got it figured out. They know and don’t mind telling you they know.

The gracious are thankful for whatever they have. They have a grateful spirit. The ungracious turn up their nose at the belongings of others and have a way of showing disdain for what others have that doesn’t measure up to their standards (“I wouldn’t want that cheap furniture in my house!”).

The gracious have a way of helping others feel comfortable in their presence. The ungracious sometimes cause others to feel “less than” since they regularly critique and evaluate others, often finding them to be lacking in some way.

The gracious are grateful for whatever thoughtfulness that others might show. The ungracious are demanding and insist on getting their way even when it means that the desires of others must be completely ignored.

The gracious look for whatever is good in others. The ungracious focus on what they dislike.

The gracious are warm, inviting, and generous. The ungracious are cool, aloof, and distant.

The gracious have a way of showing that they have real interest in others. The ungracious are more focused on themselves and are mainly interested in others knowing how important they are.

The gracious treat others as men and women created in God’s image who have equal worth. The ungracious make fun of those who don’t quite measure up either socially, economically, or culturally.


Question:

What would you add to this list?



Now Here’s a Real Opportunity for Your Children

May 28, 2010 in Family/Marriage with 2 Comments

Sometimes parents seem to quit being parents even before their children leave the house.Children_Church.jpg

Have you experienced anything like this?

Two families are going out to eat together. They have been looking forward to this evening. One couple has no children. The other couple has two children, a 4 year old and a 6 year old. The children are going with them that evening. That is understood from the beginning. The other couple is fine with this arrangement.

One couple drives to the other couple’s home and they all leave for the restaurant together. On the way, the four year old announces that he wants to go to McDonald’s.

Child — “I want to go to McDonald’s.”

Parent — “Stevie, we are not going to McDonald’s.”

Child — “I want to go to McDonald’s!”

Parent — “Did you hear what I said?” (Hearing check)

Child — “I don’t like that restaurant! I want to go to McDonald’s!”

Parent — (looking at the other couple) “You don’t mind if we go through the McDonald’s drive-in do you? We will get his meal and then we will go on.”

Again and again it happens. Parents shrug their shoulders while their children are allowed to control the family. In far too many families, young children are allowed to dictate what the family is going to do and where the family is going. Often the energy of parents seems to be focused on letting the little guy “be himself” with no restraint or direction. Consequently, the child may be allowed to do whatever he wishes while mom and dad stand by and smile.

The following are some opportunities that might really bless a child:

1. Allow this child the opportunity to learn the value of waiting for gratification. When mom and dad jump every time he wants a coke, candy, or a toy, they deprive this child of the opportunity to learn that sometimes the better experiences come later if one is willing to wait.

2. Allow this child the opportunity to learn how to act when he is with people. Parents do a child no favor when he is allowed to act obnoxious and rude around others. I remember one occasion when a number of people were in a home and a small child began jumping up and down on the sofa. The parents saw this child do this and did nothing. Of course, the child begins to be labeled “out of control.” How sad for the child because this could be prevented if mom/dad would deal with him and not neglect the situation.

3. Allow this child the opportunity to be shaped early in life instead of having to unlearn bad habits later on. One thing is true about raising children: “Pay now or pay later.” You can invest the time and energy in your children when they are young. Or, you can close your eyes to their misbehavior. However, you will probably have to pay later because you chose not to do the hard work in the early years.

4. Allow this child the opportunity to experience things that are challenging and even difficult. We do a child no favor by always looking for the soft, easy way for him. Seeking what is soft and easy for your child is a good way to keep him from ever developing any confidence so that one day, when he is older, he can accept new challenges.


Question:

What has been challenging to you in raising your children? (if you have children) What have you learned that you wish you had known earlier?



Ministry Inside.4

May 27, 2010 in Ministry with 2 Comments

1. Just became aware of a blog written by a couple who went through infidelity in their marriage and now have experienced the restoration of their marriage. (See “Our Marriage Restored “) This could be a very encouraging resource for some couples. (Thanks Trey Morgan)

2. I have always enjoyed laughing. So much of life (and ministry) can be heavy, serious, and tragic. Consequently, I have learned to really appreciate what is humorous and funny. Yet, I have also learned to be careful in what I say. The intent, in using humor, can be to lighten the moment. Yet, it can also backfire. Many years ago, I was teaching a Bible class and began with an unplanned remark about one of our good friends. My intention was not to embarrass this person
and certainly not to hurt this friend. Yet later, I learned that the moment was difficult for her because what I said came very close to being the same hurtful words her father often used regarding her.

I had no idea. I felt awful and apologized as soon as she told me. That Bible class incident took place a long time ago. I continue to use humor but make sure it is not directed at anyone in the room. I try to keep any attempted humor focused on something self-deprecating. (There is plenty of material to work with when I look in the mirror.) :)

3. You might want to read, “The Danger of Emotional Pornography.” (From Relevant magazine) This is very interesting.

4. I just read Rise of the Non-Believers in the Harvard Political Review. This is an interesting article (a single page) that highlights increasing growth of non-believers in the America. Here is a sample of this piece from the last paragraph:

Nonbelievers have always been controversial in the United States, and though their numbers are growing, the stigma against them has proven resilient. Yet nonbelievers may also hold some cards in their favor. According to the Pew Forum, 25 percent of 18-to-29 year-olds are nonreligious, and as that cohort becomes more civically active, it could contribute to a stronger secular political movement. Indeed, this younger generation will come into maturity as the Cold War-inspired generation begins to decline.

5. Are you familiar with Mindy Caliguire and SoulCare ministry? I have read one of her books and pay attention to her website and blog. You may want to read a post that is actually a guest post written by Mac Lake of Seacoast Church. This is an excellent post with some extremely important questions included in the post. You can find it here.

6. You might want to watch this video. Such an important focus! Daniel Harkavy (leadership coach) talks about the importance of “Taking the Long View” (2 minutes and 11 seconds).

The Lost Boy of Sudan in Highland Park

May 22, 2010 in Grace, Ministry with 1 Comment

I encourage you to read the story below from today’s Dallas News.

This is the story of one of the former “Lost Boys of Sudan” who came to America and ended up living in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the nation.

UNIVERSITY PARK – If it is possible to experience God’s grace in the produce section at Tom Thumb, then it surely happened when Deanna Charles asked a stock boy if the store would donate snacks for her daughter’s school band practice.

For weeks after that, the stocker, Bol Malual, personally delivered fruit to Highland Park High School. But when Charles happened to se

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e him paying a co-worker in the checkout line one day, she realized there had been a cosmic misunderstanding.

“I just lost it,” Charles said. “I was mortified and said, ‘Oh my gosh, Bol, have you been donating this fruit all this time?’ “

He smiled and said, “Yes, but Mrs. Deanna I want to; I really want to help the kids.”

(Read the rest of the story here.)

Basically the story tells about the difficulties of men like Bol, one of a number of the “Lost Boys” who are in America right now.

Hopefully, you paused for a moment to read the entire story. I was also moved by this part of the interview:


. . . Last week he sat in a booth at Peggy Sue BBQ in Snider Plaza.

Charles, the band mom who befriended Bol, also noted the cultural chasms.

“I was so surprised to learn how he had been in the U.S. for almost a decade on his own and had never had a birthday gift, never ate at a sit-down restaurant, never went to a movie, never went to the dentist or doctor and didn’t own an umbrella,” she said.

“These guys, basically, they eat one meal a day. There are several guys that go a couple days without food,” said West. “They’re hard workers; they want to do well.”


Question:

What is there in this story that you find encouraging or inspirational?



Ministry Inside.3

May 20, 2010 in Ministry with 15 Comments

Each Thursday, throughout the next two months, I am posting “Ministry Inside” especially for ministers who read this blog. Perhaps some of this will be helpful.   


1. Have you seen Instapaper ? I am finding this to be very helpful. This tool enables you to quickly browse through numerous online newspapers, magazines, etc. and save in one place articles that you would like to read later. At your own Instapaper, you can even create folders to put certain articles for a particular use. For example, right now I have three folders:

  • For my blog
  • Pass on to my family
  • Stories for messages

So I read the articles that I have placed on Insta-newspaper and then filed them in a folder for use later. You might take a look at this.

2. Stay tuned for L. L. Barkat’s new book: God in the Yard: Spiritual Practice for the Rest of Us. I read the first two chapters of this book and know that I will be coffee22.jpgrecommending it widely. Barkat reminds me of Eugene Peterson when I read her books. She has the eye of a poet.

3. If you are looking for a commentary series that could benefit people in your church, consider the . . . for Everyone series. Tom (N.T.) Wright is writing this series covering every book in the New Testament. Included is his own translation of the text with a very readable discussion. Also included are background information, explanations, suggestions, etc. I have found these books to be very helpful.

4. I am very thankful for David and Diana Garland’s book, Flawed Families of the Bible. This book formed seed thoughts for me in at least one series that I have taught regarding family. Because we are human and sinful, each one of us either came from an imperfect family or helped create an imperfect family or both. Anyway, this is a very good book.

5. Today, I had lunch with Barry Camp, Pastor of Highland Baptist Church. Barry is a good friend who has served this area for many years. Yesterday, I was at a lunch of the Urban Church Coalition. This is a monthly lunch at which ministers/pastors/church leaders/para-church directors come together to remember the needs of the poor, forgotten and neglected in our community. The group consists of people representing a variety of denominations and organizations.

For many years, I did not take the time to invest in these kinds of friendships. I just did not make the effort to get to know other ministers who may have only been a half mile from me. Today, my life is far richer because of these relationships. What about you? In the last month, two friends, ministers in two different states, have told me that when they moved to their respective cities, no minister ever called to welcome them or ask them out for coffee or lunch. Hmmm.

6. Dr. Mark Hamilton (Associate Dean, ACU Graduate School of Theology) has written a very good article entitled, “The Demographic Crisis in Church and How to Fix It.” Good thoughts and very practical as well.


If this series, posted each Thursday, is helpful to you please let me know either through comment or e-mail (jim@crestview-church.org)

Grow in Your Understanding of People (5 Realities)

May 17, 2010 in Emotional Maturity, Ministry, Relationships with 0 Comments

Yesterday, my youngest daughter called to tell us that her street had just been in a severe hail storm.car.jpg

I didn’t know how severe this storm was until she sent pictures. Wow! Her car was in the driveway and was just about destroyed. The windshield was shattered as well as the back glass. Hail and broken glass were all over her back seat. There were lots of dents all over this car. Not good.

It doesn’t take the smartest person to realize that this hailstorm will be a major theme for the people in this area today as they deal with broken windows and destroyed vehicles.

If I were traveling to this area to do business today, I would want to get information about this storm and realize that this will be the talk of the city today. I would need to realize that these people may be dealing with some difficult problems regarding their damaged or destroyed property.

I once had a conversation with a Christian leader who I knew to be a very gifted person. He had great organizational skills and is a good people person. In the course of this conversation, he said to me regarding a mutual friend, “He doesn’t do people very well.” I asked him what he meant. “He said that this friend just didn’t read people very well. The person did not have a good sense of timing, appropriateness, or emotional connection with others.

I have learned how important it is to be a student of people.

The following are five realities regarding people that I did not realize when I was fresh out of college and starting my work:

  1. I did not realize how difficult life really is for some people. Some people find it difficult to just get out of bed in the morning. Some people put out great effort just to function in their jobs. Still others find that being with people is difficult and exhausting.
  2. I did not realize the pain that some people live with. I know people who have adult children who are a constant source of stress to their parents. Others have a parent or sibling who is very difficult. Still others live with the memories of a painful childhood, perhaps memories connected with an abusive father or mother.
  3. I did not realize the great personal sacrifice that many parents are willing to make for their children. It is just amazing what parents will do for their children! Some have even put their careers on hold because they thought it was in the best interest of their children.
  4. I did not realize how complicated some problems really are. Not long ago I heard a person make this statement about a particular person: “Well what she needs to do is . . .” It seemed so obvious to this person what the other needed to do. Yet, he had no idea just how complex and difficult the situation had become at this point.
  5. I did not realize how many people are really lonely. Many, many people simply want a friend. A person who is safe. A person who they can experience life with. I have heard this one from both men and women. Yet, many find it difficult to find or be such a person.   

Ministry Inside.2

May 13, 2010 in Ministry with 4 Comments

(Each Thursday during May/June, I am posting especially for those people who are ministers. I suspect, however, if you are a regular reader of this blog, that you will find something here that interests you as well.)


You might enjoy an article that I wrote entitled, “Moving Beyond Self-Consciousness.” You can find it at MentorNetwork.org. The post deals with a struggle that I had regarding my own self-consciousness as a minister. Perhaps you will find this helpful.

Do you take advantage of Twitter? You may wonder, “How could this possibly help me?” I am active on Twitter and find it very useful because people who I “follow” will post short messages which include links to books or articles they are reading. I really don’t spend very much time with this and yet it is so useful. In fact, it is very easy to post three or four “tweets” within minutes. This is a very good way to keep up with people who interest me such as Len Sweet, Scot McKnight, Ed Stetzer, Michael Hyatt, etc. I am also able to keep up with friends such as Jimmy Adcox, Grady King, Rick Atchley, John Dobbs, Tim Spivey, Josh Patrick, Josh Graves, and many others.

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Just got back from the Pepperdine Lectures. Excellent! You can get recordings (DVD’s, CD’s, MP3′s) here. On of the best messages that I heard was Scot McKnight’s Wednesday, 8:30am presentation regarding “What is the Gospel?” You can order an MP3 of the presentation here. (10-108 “The Blue Parakeet) This is an outstanding presentation that really made me think!

In two weeks, I will be a presenter at the annual Sermon Seminar at Austin Graduate School of Theology. My subject is “Preaching from 2 Corinthians.” These presentations will be recorded. I also hope to make my notes available to readers of this blog. (By the way, it really is humbling to make a presentation like this before other ministers. Yet, I have really enjoyed the discipline of preparing for this event.)

I am doing a lot of thinking right now regarding ministry as “calling” seen next to ministry as “career.” At some point, I will reflect on this in a blog post. The people I know who are finishing strong are those who have a sense of call. I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

William S. Banowsky has written a fine book, The Malibu Miracle, which tells the story of Pepperdine University and it’s move to Malibu. Banowsky, a former President of Pepperdine tells the story of being a college president during some turbulent years. I had the opportunity to read an early draft of this book and found it very difficult to put down.

Lynn Anderson’s book Talking Back to God (Speaking Your Heart to God Through the Psalms) has just been released. This book is about how the Psalms can shape a person’s prayer life. Lynn writes with much authenticity about this as the Psalms have really shaped his own prayer life. Those whom he has mentored and encouraged for years (such as myself) have been blessed by his work with the Psalms.

The mentoring group that I facilitate met a few days ago. I am so impressed with these people. Bright. Energetic. God-centered. I learn so much from being with them each month. There is something to be gained by meeting regularly with a group of people who are serious about their own growth and development.


God is On the Move — In Your Life

May 12, 2010 in God, Ministry with 2 Comments

God really is on the move.

Yet, sometimes we get distracted by those people who seem to have everything going their way.

What do you think when your friend finally gets her dream job? What do you think when your friend is about to get married? What do you think when your friend finds out that she is pregnant?

If you are like many, this is what you think: “Where is my dream job? Why can’t I be married? When are we going to have children?”God'shands.jpeg

Do you remember the Joseph story in the book of Genesis? Joseph had been sold as a slave and is now in Egypt, working in Potiphar’s house. Potiphar was one of Pharaoh’s officials – the captain of the guard.

Joseph is far from home, far from his family, far from the land.

Yet, the writer of Genesis wants you to know that God is very near. “The Lord” is mentioned five times in 22 verses (39:2, 3, 5, 21, 23). This is a surprise after reading the previous two chapters in which so very little had been said about God. Now the writer wants you to know that God is very much at work.

If you are like many people, you live as though there is really nothing significant happening in your life:

  • My family is ordinary. We are just trying to get by. Nothing about us really stands out.
  • My church is vanilla. It is not a great church. We have so many weaknesses. There is nothing about us that would impress anyone.
  • My job is just a job. It is not an important job or something that might interest you or someone else.
  • My ministry is not that impressive. Perhaps there are no glowing statistics to pass on. Maybe all you can see are the obstacles in your ministry.   

When God is with you, what looks discouraging, may in fact, be the place where God is working in a mighty way. What may look ordinary can be the very avenue where God is working in extraordinary ways.

  • Do you have a family? God is working through your family to bless others for generations to come!
  • Are you a part of a church family? God is on the move through Jesus in the power of the Holy Spirit! He works through his church and the various congregations that make up that church to carry out his mission!
  • Do you have a job? God is working through you in your vocation to impact others for the kingdom of God!
  • Are you faithful in your ministry? God is working through your ministry to display Jesus and allow others to experience his love and service!

Again and again we see that God is backstage and is intentionally and deliberately on the move!

Question:

Is there a word of encouragement for you in the above post? What especially speaks to your life?


The 10 Temptations

May 10, 2010 in 10 Characteristics, Faith with 0 Comments

A few years ago, I asked a friend of mine, “When does temptation ever end?”

I suppose that on one level, it never does end.

Do any of these temptations sound familiar?

  • The temptation to insist upon a soft, risk-free life.
  • The temptation to power. Life is only good when I get my way, whether in my home or at my work.
  • The temptation to say “yes” to whatever might bring me a moment of pleasure. If I have to choose between pleasure or morality, pleasure trumps morality.
  • The temptation to coast. To work the system and to not do anything that might upset this system.
  • The temptation to demand attention. “That’s nothing,” he said, “you should have seen what happened to me.”
  • The temptation to play by different rules. Tell the kids one thing and then do another. Preach one thing to the church and then do another.
  • The temptation to live by fear instead of by faith. Consequently, the fear of what could happen rules your life.
  • The temptation to manipulate instead of love. After all, manipulation allows you to pursue your true agenda.
  • The temptation to flirt with evil. To see evil as simply being naughty instead of the soul eating cancer that it is.
  • The temptation to use God for your purposes instead of loving God for who he is.

You may know what it is like to be tempted to buy something that you really don’t need. After being married for a couple of years, we went to New Orleans for a few days. Neither Charlotte or I had been there before. Money was tight—very tight. So we really had to budget this trip very carefully—what we were going to do, where we were going to stay, etc.

We were walking through the French Quarter one day with all of the other tourists when we were approached by a person who said, “If you would like $50 just go to this address and take a brief tour through a new condominium. Well that sounded great. This sounded like a very easy thing to do. So we walked around the corner and stood in line for this tour.

At the end of the tour, our guide asked us to be seated at a table. I thought, “This is where we get the $50.” Wrong! This was where we listened to this man tell us just how urgent it was that we act today. It was a special deal. On sale. Next week the price will be different. Don’t pass this up.

Not a rental. Not exactly owning a property. No, we were invited to purchase a “Time Share.”

He said, “You aren’t going to pass this up are you?  The price will never be lower.” I wondered, “Are we passing up a deal?” By the time he got through with us, I was really wondering if this was our last chance at one of the all time good deals in life.  

Charlotte and I looked at one another and then said “No.” He looked at us as if we just didn’t get it. He reluctantly handed us $50.

Now I was glad to get that money. However, I kept wondering, “Did we pass up a great opportunity?”  

Maybe temptation is like that.


Question

What temptation would you add to this list of 10?


Pepperdine

May 10, 2010 in Places I've Been... with 2 Comments

Most years I am at the Pepperdine Lectures in May. Sometimes I have been there as one of the speakers. Other years, I have been there simply to soak up great messages and presentations.

On Friday of last week, I returned from Pepperdine. Some highlights include:

  • Attending this wonderful event with Charlotte. We enjoyed being together for several days on campus.
  • Visiting with friends such as: Scot and Kris McKnight, Josh Patrick, Sid Dye, Steve and Stephanie Codara, Josh Graves, Rick Atchley, Jon Mullican, Grady King, Jeff Cary, and others who were a part of the Hope Network Partners lunch. I also got to visit with my sister Becky Burroughs.
  • Hearing people such as Shon Smith, Scot McKnight, Don McLaughlin, Josh Graves, and Randy Harris.
  • Being present as two new books were released. I have looked forward to both of these. Lynn Anderson has written a new book on the Psalms, Talking Back to God. Also, former Pepperdine President Bill Banowsky has written a new book entitled: The Malibu Miracle.

I enjoyed seeing people who I only occasionally get to see. These include such people as: Lynn Anderson, Chris Altrock, Bob Clark, Keith Clark, Chris Goldman, Evertt Huffard, Jimmy Adcox, Brandon Baker, Cliff Barbarick, Brad Cox, Ken and Marca Young, Cole Young, Shane Alexander, and others.   

If you are interested in recordings (in a variety of formats) see Pure Logic Video.

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