Archive - November, 2010

Rookie Mistake

November 28, 2010 in My Story, Starting the Day with 10 Comments

I thought I would simply go to Target on Friday morning to pick up a GPS that was on sale. I couldn’t believe the price.

Turned out to be more complicated than I thought.

Retail Sales Outlook

We were in Dallas for Thanksgiving. We were with my parents, my brother, and my sister’s family. We spent the night at my parents’ house. I decided to get up early and buy the GPS at the nearby Target.

At 5 AM, I walked into the Target near Town East Mall. The parking lot was full. Hundreds of paper cups were scattered outside the store where many people evidently had waited for the store to open. Inside, it was unbelievable. I had never seen that many people inside a Target at one time. Check-out lines were backed up with long lines that snaked throughout the store. People were even checking out at the snack bar.

These shoppers were veterans. They were intense shopping warriors making their way through the store, doing battle with the full power of bulging carts. They looked tired but determined.

I was out of place. A rookie.

Ten minutes later, I headed toward the exit. The GPS had sold out shortly after they opened. I was way too late.

I went across the street to Town East Mall. (It was 5:30 AM and I was already out. May as well go someplace!) I walked through the mall watching people. It was amazing! Every restaurant in the food court was open. Inside Macy’s, there were people at the perfume counter. 5:30 in the morning? Others were trying on clothes. I could not believe the number of people in that mall before the sun had come up.

Ok, I realize that some of you are shaking your head at this point. You’ve been there and done that on Black Friday. You may be a shopping warrior yourself.

No doubt it is obvious to you that I was out of place.

A clueless rookie.


On Being Real

November 24, 2010 in Emotional Maturity with 7 Comments

She and her family heard him preach one Sunday morning. He was their new preacher and this was his second message to the church.real.jpg

A few days later, she was on the telephone when her friend asked:

“How do you like your new minister?”

The woman replied, “I have heard him preach twice and I am impressed with how real he is.”

To acknowledge someone as being “real” is to pay that person a very high compliment.

So what does it mean to be real?

(I would love to hear your own additions to this list. Please leave as a comment below.)

1. Being real is not about trying to project an image. It is being you.

2. Being real is to be transparent. No deception here.

3. Being real is to deal with life as it is and to acknowledge that it is sometimes very difficult.

4. Being real is to be authentic and not a pretender.

5. Being real is to turn from duplicity and toward integrity. For example, people who are real do not talk badly about another person in that person’s absence and then talk glowingly about him when he is present.

6. Being real is to be honest. You can count on what this person says. He will not lie in order to make life more convenient. (“Just tell your boss that you can’t come in and you aren’t feeling well. That way, maybe we can leave for our trip earlier.”)

7. Being real is to own up to your mistakes and your failures rather than to rationalize or justify.

8. Being real is to speak truth instead of speaking what you think another person might prefer to hear.




On Resilience 3 (Guest writer Charlie Coil)

November 17, 2010 in Uncategorized with 2 Comments

The following post was written by Charlie Coil on the important subject of “resilience.” You can find part one here, and part two here. questions.jpg


Part III: We Are Perplexed

Four-year old Tyler looked up at his daddy and asked him, “Daddy, how did you get to be so big? I wanna be big just like you!” His dad looked down and said, “Well son, I just kept growing. You will probably be just as big as me some day.” “But Daddy, I wanna know how to grow big now. I wanna be big just like you, right now!” the child said as he stamped his foot. “All I can tell you son,” Dad smiled and said, “is that growing takes time. You just have to wait.” “Well, I’m never gonna be big then,” Tyler said. “It’s just too hard for me to wait.”

Understanding how to grow in any area of lives is hard, isn’t it? Why God created life as something that grows and particularly why he created us as growing creatures and how this growth occurs may be THE most perplexing issue we face in our spiritual lives. (The notion of growth stands stubbornly fixed even between the two opposing theologies of free will—the colossus of Calvinism and the acropolis of Arminianism!) It’s hard even for adults to wait for growth to happen in any area—physically, emotionally or spiritually. We prefer time-lapse photography to be the actual time it takes for growth to occur.

The day-in, day-out practices that have to be kept up, the totally dedicated often agonizing routines that must be maintained, and the tiny, incremental, almost imperceptible progress can be hard to accept. We prefer God to “work His spiritual magic” in one fell swoop. When some young athletes discovered that they could have “instant resilience” or “bounce-back power” in a pill, even if it was illegal and considered cheating and actually damaged their body later in life, they could not resist the instant gratification that steroids offered. Here was instant growth in pill form. Christians aren’t immune to this temptation in the spiritual realm.

It’s hard to wait while a resilient little seed germinates into a tiny embryonic seedling that starts pushing ever so slowly through the soil up toward the light and the rim of that little Styrofoam cup where a wide-eyed first grader stands anxiously staring for the hundredth time in two days. Waiting is part of the perplexity of growth and suffering and the mystery of how to remain resilient in your life. Understanding resilience is an especially perplexing issue across a wide range of academic disciplines other than theology: psychology, philosophy, environmental biology, cultural anthropology, and medicine to name just a few.


Continue Reading…

Worth Pondering

November 17, 2010 in Starting the Day with 0 Comments

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

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–Anne Frank, Diary of a Young Girl

Strenthening the Soul (13)

November 15, 2010 in Ministry, My Story with 8 Comments

With one finger, he lowered the electric window of his Cadillac convertible. He was smoking a big cigar. He was a prominent businessman in our town. In our little church, he was our big giver.

I was a young minister, newly married, and had been preaching in this little church for only a few months.

It was Sunday morning.

  • Bible Class – 9:00 AMpuzzle.jpg
  • Sermon that Offended Our Big Giver – 10:00 AM

Right after church, he went to his car and sat, smoking that cigar. As I walked out of the door of the church building, he motioned me over to his car. He looked at me and said, “Let’s don’t talk about the blacks!” (Ok, that is not exactly what he said. His choice of words were rough.)

I don’t remember what I preached that morning. I don’t remember the topic or the text. I recall saying something about treating all people fairly and with justice regardless of ethnicity. I probably mentioned specific ethnic groups that were represented in our area.

He did not like what I said. I knew he was serious-very serious. I also knew that our church seemed to depend on his contribution check to pay the bills each week. In fact, I knew that he was partially responsible for the check I received each week. He was wealthier than anyone else in that little church.

This was an important moment for me, standing beside his car door that Sunday morning.


Was I called to preach or was I simply employed by a church?


There is a huge difference in the two.

My response to him was: “I just preach what I believe the Bible says.” Now that wasn’t bravado. I’m sure I was trembling inside. This was my first confrontation with him over issues that were very close to the heart of the Gospel.

For me, that encounter with him was a clarifying moment. I was a young minister and needed to decide whether I was going to put my confidence in God or in the pleasure of one who was the largest giver in our church.


Question:

Do you recall an encounter in which you had to declare or decide whom you served?




Ministry Inside.25

November 12, 2010 in Ministry with 0 Comments

1. “Manage yourself.” These are the words of my friend Charles Siburt, longtime ministry professor at ACU. If you as a minister approach ministry from a systems perspective, there is nothing more important than managing yourself. Yet, managing yourself is not simply a matter of working harder or trying more. It is examining how you are functioning in your various roles (leader, minister, preacher, married person, parent, etc.) Quite often, to address your relationships in one sphere can have real benefit in other spheres.coffee22.jpg

For example, one might be a minister working with a group of church elders. Perhaps this person needs to improve his functioning with this group. Where does a person begin? Years ago, I heard Edwin Friedman (Generation to Generation) say that one of the best things a minister can do is deal with his own family of origin issues. I knew that I had some of these issues from the past but had never processed or worked through them. I reconnected with several family members in order to gain clarity about some of the issues that I was grappling with. I began to see how the way I was functioning within a church was very much related to the way I had functioned in my family of origin. This was extremely helpful.

We are whole beings or systems. One of the best things we can do as we seek to grow and mature is to declare that nothing is off limits and that we are willing to do the hard work of looking at how we have been functioning through the years.


2. I am reading Tim Keller’s new book, Generous Justice. This is an outstanding book. Keller makes the case biblically for why matters of justice ought to be in the sphere of ministry for a Christian individually and for the church collectively.


3. Random

Drew Dyck has written a fine post entitled “Why Do You Write?”

Daniel Offer has written a very good piece (posted on Michael Hyatt’s blog) entitled “The Leader as LifeLong Learner.”

On Resilience 2 (Guest writer-Charlie Coil)

November 10, 2010 in Uncategorized with 1 Comment

The following is part two in a series by guest writer, Charlie Coil of Bentonville, Ark. The entire post entitled “Resilience.” This is a well written and well thought-out post. (You can read part 1 here)resilience.jpg


Part II: Pressed on Every Side by Troubles

Everybody sing along: “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen, Nobody knows but Jesus.” Maybe you want to correct me on those last two words. But, I quoted the original! Later renditions change the line to “Nobody knows my sorrow”. Ever wonder why? Let’s save a response for later. Here’s the rest of the song:


Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen

Nobody knows but Jesus!

Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen
Glory hallelujah!
Sometimes I’m up, sometimes
I’m down
Oh, yes, Lord
Sometimes I’m almost to the ground
Oh, yes, Lord
Although you see me going ‘long so
Oh, yes, Lord
I have my trials here below
Oh, yes, Lord
If you get there before I do
Oh, yes, Lord
Tell all-a my friends I’m coming too

Oh, yes, Lord


Troubles are like lawyers; they’re everywhere. If few of us had troubles there’d be no lawyers. How’s this for the name of an actual attorney group’s website? Gottrouble.com. My forebears were the notorious Ulster Scots of Northern Ireland. That notorious period of horribly violent ethno-political unrest in Northern Ireland is still known in Ireland as “The Troubles” (Irish: Na Trioblóidí). Today our picture of the continent of Africa is almost synonymous with “troubles” of every kind—war, poverty, disease. And to say “Middle East” is to say “madness”. But come home to quiet, peaceful, prosperous “middle America” and say “cancer”. There is no trouble-free spot on the planet, never has been, never will be.

Is there anyone on the planet then who does not recognize, in the face of troubles on every side, the absolute necessity of human resilience? Why are we even talking about this topic? Experience is the simplest answer. No living thing survives without going through some difficult experiences that require some measure of resilience in order to survive. We talk about it because all humanity seems to be pressed on every side by troubles, that’s why! If we are not resilient, we are dead. A human body without an immune system cannot survive. We cannot live our lives in separate, germ-proof bubbles. To live physically is to constantly rebound from a continual barrage of viral and bacterial assaults. But, there is far more, isn’t there, when we say the word “troubles”. The human psyche is not immune from the daily battering of the heart.

In the West the philosophical and religious responses to trouble or adversity vary widely along a continuum from trouble as punishment to trouble as completely absurd. Even going so far as to deny the very existence of trouble as something real (it’s just a figment of human imagination) is one proposed answer to the issue. I tend to place this approach into the irresponsible or even irrational column even though a great deal of humanity takes this view in professing some form of Buddhist, Taoist or Hindu faith. And millions spend their lives at least giving lip service to denying or trying to deny this simple, common sense observation that—to be human is to be pressed by troubles.

We ignore troubles to our own peril. We redefine them supposedly out of existence, again to our own peril. We drown them with chemicals to our own peril. We defy them as absurd with existential hubris to our own peril. In this world you will have trouble, Jesus said. No denial or defiance here. His answer was simple: Take heart for I have overcome the world.

The well-known, liberal turned conservative, social scientist and columnist, Max Lerner made this famous comment: “The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core strength within you that survives all hurt.” The assumption of hurt or trouble in this life is a part of maturity or “growing up.” But, the problem with this remark is that it never defines “core strength” which is the point after all, isn’t it. This “core strength within you that survives all hurt” is your resilience. But, this is an extremely perplexing issue to get our minds around.

Next time we’ll “ponder perplexity.” That is, up to this point while most can clearly admit our defenselessness (that we can’t deny the troubles we’ve seen), we haven’t really acknowledged just how puzzling and perplexing this issue really is. Perhaps it’s so perplexing in part because of our own human nature and in part because we’ve been looking for answers in all the wrong places? Stay tuned.

Happy Birthday to Me

November 10, 2010 in Uncategorized with 2 Comments

It was a Saturday.Happy Birthday.jpeg

We were traveling south on I-35, toward Austin, and decided to stop at Salado. While there, we went into Brookshire’s grocery store. Jamie was with us that day. As she walked through the store, she passed by an older gentleman holding a cake he had purchased from the store bakery. On the cake, the decorator had written these words:


“Happy Birthday to Me.”


Jamie said that as she walked by the man, he said these words aloud.

When I heard this story, questions rushed into my mind. Where is this man’s family? Where are this man’s friends? Does this man have neighbors? Does he have a church? What is his story? What is the story of a man who resorts to buying his own birthday cake?

I pictured this man going home to an empty house. Perhaps he cut a piece of cake, poured a glass of milk, and sat in his recliner in front of his television. Perhaps his family, living in a distant city, called to wish him a “Happy Birthday.” Perhaps not. Maybe they forgot his birthday. Even worse, maybe they forgot him.

There is something about this story that is a reminder to me of the isolation, loneliness, and disconnection that many people in this culture feel. Yes, I know this is nothing new. Nor is it something that you are probably not aware of. Every once in a while, however, something like this happens that gets my attention again.

Years ago, I heard the story of a man who was looking through the storefront window of a department store in his town. Also peering into the window was a small boy who was alone. The boy stood for a long time looking into the window. Finally, the gentleman asked the boy where his parents were. The boy answered,


Mister, I’m nobody’s nuthin’.


Is the story true? Who knows. I do know that when I heard this story I thought about the people I have known who felt alone, isolated, and cut off from others.

The story of the man with the birthday cake is a reminder to me to not assume too much about people with whom I come in contact. It is also a reminder that God remembers all of us, even when we are forgotten by some. In Scripture, God reminds us that he remembers the poor, the widow, the orphan, the disadvantaged.



Strengthening the Soul (12)

November 8, 2010 in Uncategorized with 2 Comments

Recently, I heard the podcast of a message preached by Tim Keller entitled, “Real Friendship and the Pleading Priest.” (This is in the series The Gospel According to Abraham.)

We live in a Western culture, especially as Americans in one of the most individualistic cultures there has ever been. What I mean by an “individualistic culture” is that we really deny the idea of corporate responsibility. We believe in individual responsibility. Western people say, “It doesn’t matter what my father did or my grandfather did. It doesn’t matter what my race did. It doesn’t matter what my people have done. I’m not responsible for what anyone else has done. No one else’s record can influence me. I stand or fall,-I’m judged strictly by what I have done.

Does this sound familiar?

In America, it is common for many to live without any regard for others. Consequently, men and women make decisions based solely on their individual preferences without regard for anyone else.


“It’s my life and I can do what I want to do!”

leadership.jpg


I suppose that we can follow the rest of the herd and do what most of this culture seems to be doing.

Yet, the Bible offers a much different vision of life. The Bible offers a vision of a Christ-following community in which men and women look out for one another’s welfare. Consequently, as I reflect upon my week and the decisions that I need to make, I might ask what might be in the best interest of my congregation. What is in the best interest of my marriage? What is in the best interest of my children? What is in the best interest of my extended family? Such questions challenge me to think about the impact of my decision on others instead of announcing my right to choose and then forging ahead with what I wish to do.

Question:

Can you recall a decision that you made totally focused on your own self-interest and later regretted it? Do you recall later seeing the impact of that decision on others (family, friends, church)?

What are the drawbacks to such individualism?


Ministry Inside.24

November 4, 2010 in Ministry with 2 Comments

1. There is much to be said for listening. In the past month, I have been intentional about meeting with small groups of people in our community (outside our church family) in order to learn more about our city. I ask questions like:
coffee36.jpg

  • What are people in your circles talking about? (Your family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc.)
  • How could a church be more helpful in this city?
  • What are people in this city anxious about?

I have gained so much by doing this. Again, I am listening to these groups and actually say little about our church etc. When I do speak in these gatherings, it is mostly to ask follow-up questions after someone has commented. I take extensive notes. One person said, “It is very nice for someone to genuinely want to know what I think.”


2. Are you aware that the newest edition of the NIV was released this week (online)? You can find it here. See Doug Moo’s introduction.


3. Far too many ministers underestimate the importance of pastoral care. I really don’t think one has to choose between being a good leader or being a person who cares for people pastorally. Ministry is about loving and serving people (in the best sense of those two words.) When one loves and serves a church over a period of years, credibility is built–usually. However, gaining credibility is not a given. If you live among a group of people as a minister for several years, they will learn that you can be trusted or they will learn that you are not trustworthy. If a minister proposes some initiative regarding ministry in the future, it is very difficult for a church to hear this if this minister has no credibility. However, if this minister does have credibility (which again typically comes through some years of genuine love and service), they will often give this person the benefit of the doubt.

This is not to say that a minister has to serve a congregation for years in order to lead or attempt an initiative. Rather, ministers should not overlook the importance of serving and loving the congregation.

Sometimes a minister does not have credibility, after being with a congregation, because of too many instances of poor judgement. A congregation wants to know that those who preach, those who lead various ministries, and those who in some way are a part of pastoral leadership consistently exercise good judgement in what they say, what they do, and the decisions they make.



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