Archive - August, 2011

Lean Into the Finish Line

August 31, 2011 in Spiritual Formation with 0 Comments

Intend to finish.skate.jpg


Intend to finish strong.


No, that doesn’t mean that you live with tension, stress, and anxiety regarding your life. In fact, it actually means that you need to know what the race is about. You need to be prepared. If you are prepared, you can actually relax in the freedom of the Gospel, while you live a Christlike life in the world.


It is possible to relax and enjoy the passion and commitment of marriage.

It is possible to relax and yet press on with the difficult.

It is possible to relax and enjoy taking care of your body/soul.

It is possible to relax and enjoy mature and godly relationships.

It is possible to relax and enjoy your identity as God’s beloved.

It is possible to relax and enjoy the security that is found in God alone.

It is possible to relax and enjoy working hard as you live out your life as God’s steward.


You may want to ask, are you always relaxed? Of course not. But, I am much farther ahead than I used to be. I have found a way to live with far less tension, stress, and anxiety than I used to. For many years, I was a waiting recipient for someone else’s anxiety. I guess I thought that ministry was taking on another’s anxiety so that they would feel better. Yet, I really wasn’t helping anyone.

Real freedom and real joy can be found when my life is anchored in the grace of God.

To live this way takes preparation. The preparation is ultimately found in solitude as you spend time preparing for the race. Henri Nouwen says this well in his book The Way of the Heart (p. 13-14):

Solitude is the furnace of transformation. Without solitude we remain victims of our society and continue to be entangled in the illusions of the false self. Jesus himself entered this furnace, and there he was tempted with the three compulsions of the world: to be relevant (“turn stones into loaves”), to be spectacular (“throw yourself down”), and to be powerful (“I will give you all these kingdoms”). There he affirmed God as the only source of his identity (“You must worship the LORD your God and serve him alone”). Solitude is the place of the great struggle and the great encounter — the struggle against the compulsions of the false self, and the encounter with the loving God who offers himself as the substance of the new self.


Self-Care is a Gift to Another

August 30, 2011 in Uncategorized with 4 Comments

I once saw a picture of my father-in-law when he was in his 20s. He was standing next to another minister. He looked overweight and uncomfortable. His skin seemed to be a pasty white. He did not look healthy or fit at all.self-care.jpg


Years later he reflected on those years and told me of his lifestyle. He got virtually no exercise. He hurried from one town to the next to preach weeklong revivals or “gospel meetings.” He said that if he preached on a Sunday morning he might stay busy all afternoon (as opposed to resting). Then feeling exhausted, he would drink a couple of cups of coffee before preaching that evening. He once said, “Looking back, I would have been much more effective if I had rested that afternoon. Maybe taken a walk or jogged.”


My father-in-law had health difficulties for many years. Early on he had problems with his colon. In later years he had heart problems as well as cancer and Parkinson’s. He believed that the earlier lifestyle contributed to some of his colon problems in particular. In later years, he wisely lived a more balanced and healthy lifestyle. In many ways (usually subtle encouragement), he encouraged me to do the same.


Self-care is incredibly important for men and women. Self-care is to recognize that the creator God has given me my physical, emotional, intellectual, and relational self and has called me to care for his creation. I do so as a part of my stewardship before him. Self-care is not selfishness. Rather, it is to recognize that caring for the self is actually a blessing to others.

  • Self-care is to recognize that I bless others in the body of Christ by nurturing and caring for my own walk with the Lord.
  • Self-care is to take care of my physical body. To care for what God has given me that I might serve him fully throughout the days of my life on this earth.
  • Self-care is to pay attention to my emotional self. How many people have ignored their emotional fatigue only to use some very poor judgment regarding an ethical or moral decision?
  • Self-care is to understand that I need relationships. I need friends. Something is wrong whenever I manage to burn bridges with most everyone I get close to. Something is wrong when I wall myself off from people.

I could go on and on. Think about the instructions given by flight attendants every time we fly. Suppose you are flying with children. The cabin pressure drops and the oxygen masks appear. What does the flight attendant say? Put yours on first. Then put a mask on your children. You are in a better position to help your children if you have first practiced self-care.


Question:

How are you doing with self-care? Is there one particular area of your life in which you are tempted to “let go”?


(Reposted)

“But That’s Hard!”

August 29, 2011 in Emotional Maturity with 8 Comments

Many of us say this and then give ourselves a pass to take an easier route.Avoid.jpg

We want to avoid what is hard, difficult, and risky.

So, some of us give ourselves a pass.


“I know what I should do, but I don’t want to risk. This is really hard.”

“I know I shouldn’t be seeing this guy, but my marriage is awful. I just need someone to talk to, but I know where this could lead. This is hard.”

“I know I shouldn’t be doing my child’s research paper, but she is behind. She will fail the class if she doesn’t get it turned in. This is hard.”

“I know I ought to take better care of myself, but I don’t like to go to the doctor. It is hard to be healthy.”

“I know I should turn off the television more and spend time with my children. But this is football season! This is hard.”

“I know I should have a conversation with the guy instead of talking with everyone else about him. But I don’t want to confront him. This is hard.”

“I know I should apologize for snapping at my friend. Now she shouldn’t have said what she did. But in my more honest moments, I know I shouldn’t have been so rude. It’s hard to do the right thing.”


Yet, in avoiding what is hard or difficult, we may miss a breakthrough.


This is what I’ve learned. I have also experienced moments when I realized that my fear was keeping me bogged down and stuck.Often, when I take a step toward doing what is hard, I have experienced breakthroughs. At times, I have realized there is great joy in persevering. At other times, I found that God gave me strength where I thought I had none.


Fear never results in freedom.


So here is what I am trying to do. I want to look fear in the eye. I want to look at the situation that I am avoiding (or rationalizing) and take one step in the right direction. Is this something that you need to do as well?

Look fear in the eye and then step into it. Trust that God will be with you (read chapter one in the book of Joshua). Thank God for that first step and then take another. At the end of the day, know that you’ve made real progress. Is the situation fixed? Is it better? Not necessarily. You, however, will not be the same. In fact, you are breaking free.


Question:

How much energy does it take to regularly avoid doing what is difficult? Do you find this avoidance actually uses up valuable energy?

   

Ministry Inside.52

August 26, 2011 in Ministry with 4 Comments

Most Thursdays I write something for the series “Ministry Inside.” Typically, the post is a collection of ideas, suggestions, and resources having to do with ministering to a church. I write these posts with church leaders in mind. Yet, I know that many others will read and connect with some of these posts as well.runawayfromyourself.jpg


As I think about my life:

  

At times I have been starry-eyed, so full hope for the future that I failed to appreciate some of the obstacles and challenges facing us now.

At times I have been exhausted with a tiredness that has a way of draining the soul.

At times I have been disheartened, wondering why I can’t rise above my pettiness.


The temptation, I suppose, is to not reveal any of this. Stay in control. Don’t let anyone in. Control what people see and know. Yet, I’m not sure this is the answer.

About sixteen years ago, my physician discovered a tumor near the top of my spine. He discovered it after some chest x-rays were taken in our local emergency room regarding a totally unrelated matter.


Of course this scared me to death.


More tests. “The tumor is probably benign.” (Probably.) The surgeon said, “This needs to come out.” It would involve cutting into my chest. (I had never even been in the hospital before.)

On a Sunday morning, I told the congregation the situation and then the date of the surgery. I would probably be out for several weeks. Then I said the words that apparently made one man very nervous.


“I am cautiously optimistic and yet scared to death.”


I was then approached by an older man, a former preacher, who told me I should not have said this. “You admitted weakness and fear. You must not do this.”


To the contrary.


It is very dangerous NOT to admit weakness, fear, inadequacy, pain, confusion, etc. When any person refuses to deal with his pain (this certainly includes ministers) then that person will often self-medicate. We will attempt to keep this self-medication a secret. Consequently, a person is rocking along thinking that everything is all right and then discovers that a friend has been keeping a secret.

How do some people self-medicate? Shopping, drugs/alcohol, fits of rage, adultery, pornography, emotional affairs, gambling and the list goes on and on.

Ministers are certainly not immune to self-medicating their pain. Again and again, you hear stories of ministers revealing or getting caught in the middle of bizarre behavior. Ministers can blur the lines between the work of ministry and living as Christ-followers. As a result, when a minister is away from the church, he may not only desire a break from the work but a break from following Christ.


Question:

I would love to know what you think about this. What happens when we self-medicate instead of deal with our pain? What do we become when we spend a life time running away from ourselves?

  

Congratulations!

August 22, 2011 in Books with 0 Comments

Congratulations to Raymond!

He has won a copy of Trevor Hudson’s most recent book Discovering Our Spiritual Identity: Practices for God’s Beloved. I appreciate all of you who entered.

5 Jobs That Helped Prepare Me

August 22, 2011 in Family/Marriage with 9 Comments

Seriously.Jobs.gif

These jobs helped prepare me for life and ministry.

I learned much through these experiences. Years later, can I see how God used them. The following are the jobs I had in earlier years:


1. A paper route for The Dallas Morning News. My route consisted of four long streets in Dallas. This meant getting out of bed by 4:00 AM and being on my bike minutes later. On Sundays, the papers were so large that my mom drove me, folding these papers while I threw them from house to house (the newspapers had to be on the porch in those days). In the early morning hours, I noticed much about these houses. Different smells. Who had a dog. Whose lawn was manicured and who didn’t really have a lawn.

2. I worked for several years at a fast food restaurant. This was a Jack-in-the-Box. Drive through only. However, it was on a major street in Dallas. I worked nights and often throughout the night. This was my first job in which I dealt with people — lots of them. This was often dirty work. I remember coming home at nights reeking of grease from the deep fryers.


3. After I graduated from high school, I worked at Manor Bakery one summer. This was the hardest job I ever had. (This was a huge bakery. Bread, rolls, buns that would be distributed to grocery stores and restaurants throughout north Texas.) My job was working next to a huge bun oven.   A larger conveyor belt would take hundreds of buns through this oven at one time. The buns would come out of the oven and huge suction cups would lift them out the pans and drop them onto another belt. I would then grab the pans that had just come out of the oven. It was a hot job in the Texas summer. I have memories of lots of burns that summer.


4. I worked for a couple of years for Hunt Oil Company in downtown Dallas. I worked on the 27th floor of the First National Bank Building, in the file room, shuffling files to this or that office. Occasionally I was sent to locate a file in the archives, which was four or five blocks away. I got there after morning classes and work the rest of the afternoon.   I worked with a middle-aged, single parent who lived in Oak Cliff. She had no car and was totally dependent on the bus to get her wherever she wanted to go.   She had two dresses. A blue and a red one, which she wore to work on alternate days.

5. For several years, I worked for United Parcel Service. Loading trucks. Unloading trucks. Driving and delivering.   This was a good job. I began working there my last two years of college. Again, I worked nights. I have a lot of memories of conversations with the managers. These were often people who had been sent to work in Dallas from places like New Jersey, Salt Lake City, and Denver. I begin to notice that some of these people had now been through divorces and affairs. For some, work seemed to be the center of their world. It wasn’t that they loved their jobs. Rather, it reflected seemed to be the absence of any other center.



No doubt you’ve had your own experiences. You’ve had jobs maybe similar or quite different from these. Looking back, however, I can see how God has used some of these experiences in my life to help me connect with a variety of people.   Yet, in some ways it doesn’t really matter whether or not I understand how these experiences have been useful. What matters is that I trust that God works through my history and through my present situation.

Questions

What about you? Is there any particular job you’ve had in the past for which you are especially thankful now?

Life Can Be Exhausting

August 22, 2011 in Uncategorized with 0 Comments

Life can be exhausting.  exhausted.jpg

Think of what takes so much energy:


  • Tasks to be done. (And, dealing with situations where the task was not done or was not done well.)
  • Maintenance and stewardship of finances.   (And, dealing with finances when you have overspent and lived beyond your means.)
  • Care and feeding of relationships. (And, dealing with relationships where there is conflict. Friends. Marriage. Parents/children.)
  • Expressing emotions and managing them. (And, dealing with emotions that expressed in certain ways can actually be harmful.)

You can probably think of more factors that account for life being so exhausting.  

This morning, I want to leave you with Scripture. Think about these words from Isaiah 41 that have been so helpful and encouraging to me:

You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth,

And called from its remotest parts,

And said to you, “You are My servant”; I have chosen you and not rejected you.

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help
you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

Behold, all those who are angered at you will be shamed and dishonored;

those who contend with you will be as nothing, and will perish.

You will seek those who quarrel with you, but will not find them.

Those who war with you will be as nothing, and non-existent.

For I am the Lord your God, who upholds your right hand,

Who says to you, “Do not fear, I will help you.”

Ministry Inside.51

August 18, 2011 in Ministry with 4 Comments

1. Each year I go to the Willow Creek Global Leadership Summit. (I go to a simulcast site at Baylor University.) This is a two-day conference that is stimulating, thoughtful, and encouraging. This year I particularly enjoyed Seth Godin’s presentation. Of course, I also am a regular reader of his blog. He makes me think. There is great value in locating someone, whether in person or through their writing, who in some way stimulates your thinking.


2. “They will take their cues from you.” Many years ago, my father-in-law said this to me after I had preached a sermon in which I had shadowboxed my way through my material. I was tense, anxious, and somewhat agitated in this sermon. Why? I was speaking about the work of God’s Spirit and throughout the sermon felt irritated as I thought about a couple of people in our church who seemed to be diminishing his role.

The problem with the sermon was not the message and its content. The problem was me. From the moment I began that sermon, I felt uncomfortable and I communicated this in my body language. My father-in-law was extremely helpful to me that evening. He went on to say, “I agree with what you said. However, you might think about this: People will take their cues from you. If you appear agitated and tense, this immediately sets the listeners on edge. They become uncomfortable because you seem uncomfortable. However, if you will relax, smile, and then explain why a particular perspective or view is lacking, they are more likely to relax and really think about what you are saying.”

That advice was incredibly helpful! In fact, I’ve thought about it numerous times over the years as I prepared a particular class or message.


3. This looks very interesting! 25 Books Every Christian Should Read. Those on the editorial board for this book include Richard Foster, Dallas Willard, Phyllis Tickle, and a number of others.


4. For the last couple of days, I have spent time with a great friend and encourager to our family who primarily works with university students. The conversations have been great and stimulating. I mention this because it can be so stimulating to spend time with someone whose primary ministry is different from one’s own. Far too often ministers and others only spend time with people just like themselves, in exactly the same ministry role they are in.


5. One of my favorite blog writers is Jeff Goins. His blog, Jeff Goins Writer, consistently has good, interesting content. Two of my favorite posts are The Biggest Lie We Believe About Influence and Start Today, Not Tomorrow. Both of these posts were very motivating.

Interview With Seth Godin

August 16, 2011 in Uncategorized with 0 Comments

I love listening to Seth Godin! I have learned much from reading his books and his blog.

Tim Schrader recently interviewed him at the Willow Creek Global Leadership Summit. This is a wonderful interview! Enjoy! (Be sure to check out Tim’s blog.)

When Leaders Stop Learning

August 15, 2011 in Leadership with 6 Comments

He was in his mid-70s but about to challenge the thinking of the rest of his fellow leaders who were younger. He opened his notebook and began to read aloud the paper that he had carefully thought through. The subject was controversial and that alone made some in the gathering very nervous.Learn & Lead

However, “Steve” was a lifelong learner. He was not afraid to think. Maybe just as important, he was serious about learning.

In the recent 2011 Willow Creek Leadership Summit, Bill Hybels said “Leaders have an insatiable appetite for learning. They have to learn. Leaders are relentless learners.”

Yet, far too often key leaders remain in their roles long after they have stopped growing and learning. While others are growing, developing, and maturing, these people remain stagnant. They sometimes become obstacles instead of contributing to the health of the organization.


This is tragic.


It is not that these leaders make mistakes.

It is not that these leaders don’t know what to do.

It is not that these leaders are not smart enough.


What is tragic is that these people remain in their leadership roles long after they have stopped learning. When this happens, those who depend on their leadership are the ones who lose.

Does someone look to you for leadership? You may be a husband/wife or a father/mother. You may be a teacher or a supervisor. You may be a manager or the owner of a business. You may be a preacher, pastor, minister, elder, or any other kind of church leader. Do others look to you for direction, guidance, or encouragement?


Learn something today.

Get serious about your own learning and growth.

Trust that when you are learning, you are in turn encouraging others to continue to learn.


  

Page 1 of 212»