Archive - October, 2011

Don’t Let This Hold You Back

October 31, 2011 in Ministry, Starting the Day with 0 Comments

What holds you back?BabeRuth.jpeg
What keeps you from doing what you know you need or want to do?

Maybe you’ve said what I’ve said at times:

If only I had the money.
If only I had the time.
If only I had the right person/people to help me.
If only I had the right opportunity.
If only I could get the right break.
If only I didn’t have this other obstacle in my way.

What about you? Have these been your words?

Far too often, I put off taking action because I didn’t think I was prepared. These were often my words (at least in my mind):

I don’t know enough.

Now if you had asked me how my knowledge was lacking, I don’t know that I could have answered you. Far too often, my thinking was rooted in insecurity and fear rather than a serious assessment of the situation.

These days I’m thinking differently.


These days I ask, “What is the first step that I need to take?”
So often, I have found that if I will take the first step, then I am already down the road. I then have a better idea of what to pray for. I know more about how to trust in God at that point. Trusting God becomes a reality instead of something I think about while I remain immobile.

What holds you back?

Do you simply need to take the first step?

This week, what is the first step that you need to take?

Ministry Inside.60

October 27, 2011 in Ministry with 4 Comments

Most Thursdays, I post something with pastors, preachers, and church leaders in mind. Maybe one or more of the following will be helpful.


6 Things Your Writing Must Have to Wow Readers by L. L. Barkat. This is a very good post for writers and preachers. Also, don’t miss this interview with L. L. Barkat regarding her book Rumors of Water: Thoughts On Creativity and Writing.


I really like these words from Eugene Peterson regarding the essence of pastoral ministry:

Incrementally, without noticing what I was doing, I had been shifting from being a pastor dealing with God in people’s lives to treating them as persons dealing with problems in their lives. I was not being their pastor . . . But by reducing them to problems to be fixed, I omitted the biggest thing of all of in their lives, God and their souls, and the biggest thing in my life, my vocation as pastor . . . I knew I had turned a corner when a year or so later I visited Marilyn in the hospital. Marilyn was in her mid-twenties, married, and newly employed as a lawyer with an established firm in our country . . . She said she was in the hospital for tests — she hadn’t been feeling well, and the doctors were having difficulty diagnosing anything . . . Feeling cautiously safe, I ventured ‘Is there anything you want me to do?’ Marilyn hesitated. And then, shyly, ‘Yes, I’ve been thinking a lot about it. Would you teach me to pray’ (Eugene Peterson, The Pastor: A Memoir pp. 140-141)


Do you read Jeff Goins’posts regarding writing? I really find so many of his posts helpful. Not only do his words apply to writing but also could be helpful to anyone who uses words through speaking.


This might be useful to think about as many of us spend much of our time in one to one conversations: “7 Tips to Know if You’re Boring Someone.”


Came across this quote this week attributed to C. S. Lewis (quoted by Faith Barista):

“The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are.”

Ministers might ask themselves, “Do I surround myself with people who are wise? Are there men and women in my world who are wise and thoughtful?” This is very important to me. I purposefully seek out people who are wise.

3 Words That People Never Get Tired of Hearing

October 25, 2011 in Leadership, Ministry with 0 Comments

“I appreciate youcoffee cup (1).jpg .”

So many, many people rarely, if ever, hear these words, “I appreciate you.”

These are three words that people never get tired of hearing.


In the absence of these words, many people feel unappreciated, devalued, and taken for granted.


One of the best encouragers I know is Jerry Rushford, who for 30 years has been the director of the Pepperdine Lectures (thousands of people on campus for classes, worship, conversation, etc). Each year he publicly praises missionaries from faraway places throughout the world. Or, he might recognize people who have served in ministries for decades. This is so important and encouraging.

Recently, I was on a retreat where a friend/longtime minister prayed for me specifically. We were in a group of about 15 people and he prayed a prayer of blessing. He prayed in such detail that I was very moved by this moment. A part of what made this moment so moving for me was that he communicated value, worth, and genuine appreciation.


You can communicate value to someone in a variety of ways:

1. You can tell someone how valuable they are to you as a friend or as a co-worker.

2. You can “catch them” doing something right and bring it to their attention.

3. You can praise their work before others.

4. You can listen — genuinely listen — to their thoughts and ideas.

5. You can send a note, card, e-mail, text, or any other kind of communication to communicate value.


Question:

What else would you add to this list? How has someone communicated value to you?


Do You Practice Self-Medication?

October 24, 2011 in Ministry with 2 Comments

Many people deal with their troubles and distress by medicating their pain. They do whatever seems to work (even if it may be temporary) in order to ease or numb the pain.


Maybe you can identify with some of these situations.

DailyOffice.jpg

  • Perhaps you are in chronic physical pain. Every day your body hurts.
  • You ache with loneliness. You don’t want to sin but lately you have been preoccupied with whatever might numb the pain.
  • Your job isn’t working out. Your finances are a mess. You owe so much money due to credit card debt. You feel like a failure. You would do anything to be able to forget this mess for a little while.
  • You long for a life that is more than what you’ve experienced. Yet, it seems to be out of reach. Lately, you’ve longed for a few moments of pleasure.
  • You have been betrayed by a friend. Now you have become very guarded, refusing to trust anyone. In your isolation, you’ve experienced intense temptation.


Recently, I read the following in Peter Scazzero’s book Daily Office, p. 94, regarding our tendency to medicate our pain.

“The capacity to grieve in our culture is almost lost. People use work, TV, drugs, alcohol, shopping or food binges, busyness, sexual escapades, unhealthy relational attachments, even serving others at church incessantly — anything to medicate the pain of life. Year after year we deny and avoid the difficulties and losses of life, the rejections and frustrations. When a loss enters our life, we become angry at God and treat it as an alien invasion from outer space.”

“This is unbiblical and a denial of our common humanity. The ancient Hebrews physically expressed their laments by tearing their clothes and utilizing sackcloth and ashes. Jesus himself offered up prayer and petitions with loud cries and tears. During Noah’s generation, Scripture indicates God was grieved about the state of humanity (Genesis 6). Jeremiah wrote six confessions or laments in which he protested to God about his circumstances. After the fall of Jerusalem, he wrote an entire book called Lamentations.”

“In Scripture, the God-like response is neither a spin nor cover-up. The model and teaching is for us to deal honestly and prayerfully with our losses and disappointments (big and small) and all their accompanying confusing emotions.“ (The Daily Office, p. 94)


Question:

In what ways are some of us tempted to medicate our pain (ways that are not mentioned in this post)? What have you observed?

What I Learned From Other Men

October 20, 2011 in Ministry with 2 Comments

If you are confused about what it means to be a man today, you are certainly not alone.   


Notice some of these articles:

*Why men are in trouble.

*The End of Men.

*Where Have the Good Men Gone?


Many men today are very confused.


Quite often sitcoms portray them as goofy, less than bright, and typically immature. It is assumed they would rather play golf than do anything noble or heroic. Again and again, a dad is portrayed as one who doesn’t get it. Of course, some do not. Some men seem to remain in a perpetual state of immaturity. As William Bennett notes, one of the common complaints from young women about young men is their failure to grow up. Bennett goes on to say:

Movies are filled with stories of men who refuse to grow up and refuse to take responsibility in relationships. Men, some obsessed with sex, treat women as toys to be discarded when things get complicated. Through all these different and conflicting signals, our boys must decipher what it means to be a man, and for many of them it is harder to figure out.


So how does this change?


Men need other men to mentor, guide, and correct them. The church is a place where this can happen. This is especially important if younger guys did not have fathers in their lives as they were growing up. Other guys had fathers who were silent, passive, and disconnected.

Several men blessed me during my 20s and this has continued to make a real difference decades later. They taught me through their words, manner, and willingness to speak into my life. What I did learn from some of these men?


1. Loyalty. One husband and father talked with me in our conversations about his marriage. I heard him express loyalty to his wife and children. I watched him as he spoke to his wife and saw his tenderness toward her. He esteemed her both in her absence and in her presence. I wanted to have a family where I treated my wife and children similarly.

2. Courage. One evening when I was still a college student, a church elder, I greatly admired talked with me about the way I was handling myself with a young woman I had been dating. He witnessed my behavior as I quarreled with her one evening and talked with me about how to handle my behavior in such situations. I had acted immaturely (and knew it), and he was trying to help me. I admired his courage for being willing to step into my life to help me mature.

3. Emotional Connection. It is true. Men and women are not wired the same. When I was in my early 20s and single, I had no idea how to connect emotionally with a woman. No way was I ready for marriage. I certainly had no idea how I would connect emotionally with children if I had them. Later, I began to learn how to stay connected emotionally with my wife and children as I watched (and talked with) two men in particular. I still had much to learn, however, these two men helped me get started and gave me a picture of what an emotionally connected family might look like.


Question:

Is there a person (outside your immediate family) who has made a significant investment in your life through friendship or mentoring? How has this relationship impacted you?

Ministry Inside.59

October 20, 2011 in Ministry with 19 Comments

If you are a preacher, pastor, or minister in any role, what do you wish you had known when you first began your ministry?


(Please leave a comment today regarding this. I think your reply could be very helpful to some who are just beginning their work.)

Where Have All Our Heroes Gone?

October 13, 2011 in Ministry with 4 Comments


Sometimes, I think it is more and more difficult to find a good hero.


Of course, I could be wrong.

After all, you might say, what about some of the heroes of the past? Abraham Lincoln. Martin Luther King Jr. Nelson Mandela. Mother Teresa. All of these people did great things.


Do you know contemporary people you might look up to as a hero?


Far too often, the people we look up to and have an interest in are the celebrities. Celebrities are famous. They appear in movies, carry footballs, dunk basketballs and somehow manage to stay famous–at least for awhile. They are on television and on the front cover of People magazine.

But where are the contemporary heroes? I talk to a lot of younger ministers. Many of them have very few, if any, contemporary heros. Some of them are attracted to a good speaker or a popular author. However, many of them cannot point to a person they actually know who might also qualify as a hero.


Consider these questions:

*Do you admire someone for their goodness? Does this person make you want to be a better man or woman?

*Are you inspirited by someone’s courage? Does this person cause you to worry less about yourself and start acting on principle?

*Can you name someone who lives without hypocrisy and in whom you can find no guile? Does this person cause you to look higher and live a more noble life?

*Are you drawn to someone because of their dignity and virtue? Does this person inspire you to live a noble and moral life and avoid any hint of duplicity?


What if you and I were to grow in these areas? Goodness. Courage. Nobility. Integrity. Virtue.

What if we became someone else’s hero? I’m not talking about promoting oneself as heroic. Rather, I am suggesting that we take the Jesus-life seriously and that we really do live a life worthy of imitation.

I don’t think this is far-fetched at all. I do think we will have to decide what kind of person God has called us to be and whether or not we will take seriously our call.

Ministry Inside.58

October 13, 2011 in Ministry with 0 Comments

Most Thursdays, I post “Ministry Inside” which is a collection of a few thoughts and resources especially for church leaders. Perhaps you will find one or more of these helpful.


1. Chuck Degroot writes some significant posts that address some important issues in the lives of church leaders. This week I read “On Self-Deception” in which he discusses self-deception and the importance of confession as a means of helping us see who we really are and what is really going on in our lives. I like this quote from the post:

Sometimes we find ourselves becoming more like Jesus not because we’re good, or because we’ve succeeded, or because we’re doing the right thing, but because we’ve seen the log in our own eye instead of the speck in another’s. We may feel powerful reciting the narrative we believe about some other screwed up person, but confessing our own deceit invites us into a holy powerlessness, a place where we need Jesus more than we know.


2. I have just finished reading Scot McKnight’s new book, The King Jesus Gospel: The Original Good News Revisited. I had difficulty putting this book down. After several years of reading N.T. Wright, this book helped connect some dots. There are two forewords in the book, one by N.T. Wright and the other by Dallas Willard.   

Also, Scot McKnight has been delivering the Parchman Lectures at Truett Seminary (Baylor University) this week. This series is entitled “American Evangelicalism and the Pastor.” Video and audio of this series will be available at the Truett website soon.


3. Jeff Goins has written a very good post entitled “Self-Leadership.” This good post addresses the tendency of many of us to blame others instead of taking responsibility. I pay attention to what Jeff writes. He consistently writes good, helpful posts.


4. This was a helpful post! “An 18 Minute Plan for Managing Your Day” by Peter Bregman from the Harvard Business Review Blog Network. These three suggestions sound simple but were very helpful to me. If you need help staying on task, you might find these helpful as well.


Come Home

October 12, 2011 in Spiritual Formation with 0 Comments

The following prayer is from the late Ray Hardin’s new book Here’s My Heart.


I hear your voice in the breeze, Lord. Whispering

Come Home. Come Home. That plea takes me by

surprise. Unnerves me. Makes me wonder how I

got this far away. How I got in this shape. How

things went so wrong. But here I am. Out of

bright ideas. Out of luck. Out of strength. Wondering

if I come home, will I find mercy? Will you

even recognize me? Will you like me any more?


Come Home. Please come home. I feel the pull

of your longing. You are loved. Always. I’ll pay

the price. I’ll bear the shame. You will be

received as my precious child. Your offer of grace

amazes me. I’ve been looking for you. Waiting.

Hoping. My heart hurt every hour you were

away. Come home. Come home. Let me sing

over you. And I see you running to meet me.


Running to meet me? Me? And when I

see you–holy, good, true, forgiving–

only then do I know how ragged I must

look. How beat up I am. How weak. How

hungry. Then, only then, Lord, does my arrogance

melt. And I see how outrageous my plan has been

to save myself. To work my way into your

favor. I feel the power of your Come home.

Your Work May be More Important Than You Think

October 11, 2011 in Ministry with 8 Comments

I am sat at our kitchen table having finished a cup of coffee.  

It was early in the morning. I was thinking about my work and the day I anticipated. I wanted the day to matter and count in some way. Typically, the day seems to really count if I lived in the moment with a sense of my own identity and purpose in Jesus.

This is not as easy as it may sound. At least, I don’t find this easy! Yes it is true. Sometimes I get up in the morning and I sense the presence of God and I feel like I in rhythm, living the way I was meant to live. On many other occasions, I find life to be very hard.

Years ago, I was walking with a friend and his wife through the student center at Abilene Christian University. I think we were all there for a special event. What I do remember is that I was apparently discouraged with my work/ministry. The three of us were walking down the stairs to get a coke and visit. This couple was a few years older than me. They had served in a full-time ministry role much longer than me.


As we were walking down the steps to the lower level of the student center, my friend’s wife said to me,



”Jim, our work is far too important to allow it to be destroyed by another mortal.”


I have remembered this for many years. She saw that I was getting overly focused on a certain person’s destructive attitude and behavior. I was allowing this one person to discourage and distract me.

Such discouragements can happen to us all.

Discouragement can happen to you in your ministry or your family. Discouragement can take place at work. Discouragement can happen as you try to deal with life. Does this sound familiar? Or is this limited to just a few of us?


Sometimes, we allow discouraging situations to finally wear us out. Imagine being in a canoe with another person. You would like to go straight down the river. You use your oar in such a way as to cause the canoe to go straight. Your friend, however, seems to be interested in going from one side of the river to the other. You paddle and paddle and find yourself heading to the side of the river and finally hitting the bank. You get the canoe headed in the right direction again and a minute or two later, you are heading to the other side of the river toward the other bank. Eventually this kind of canoeing becomes very tiresome.

Life can be exhausting!

Perhaps I need to be reminded that the Lord is at my side and gives me strength. Perhaps I need to remember that the Lord does not leave his children to fend for themselves. Rather, he is with us.

At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them. But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.



(II Timothy 4:16-18)

(Adapted from a previous post)

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