Many people want to be liked. There is no shortage of people who would like to be popular. Yet, it is much more important to live in such a way as to gain the respect of others.
Respect is not something that you acquire by going after it or trying to achieve it. Rather, respect comes when your life begins to reflect particular qualities. The following are ten behaviors that will often lead a person to the place where he/she is respected by others.
1. Listen. Really listen to what others say. Seek to understand what others are thinking and feeling. Attempt to put yourself in their place.
2. Show others respect, particularly those who are wiser and ahead of you on the journey.
3. Be a learner. I once knew a young mother who told her minister that she wasn’t interested in the new class at church for young parents. Why? She had recently read a particular book and would not be making the same mistakes with her children that others in the church had made. Hmm. There are no shortcuts to learning. We all have a lot to learn.
4. Be gracious. The way to respect is not through being sharp tongued and smart aleck. Rather, be gracious to people. Some years ago, I overheard author Max Lucado in a conversation with a very fine scholar. They were meeting one another for the first time. The scholar asked Lucado what he did for a living. (Max Lucado was already a best selling Christian author.) Lucado graciously responded by saying that he was an author and wrote books for ordinary Christians. The man then asked him to name the titles of a few of his books. Lucado responded by naming a few titles. He did not seem frustrated that the man did not know that he was a best selling Christian author. After overhearing that conversation, I came away with a whole new respect for Max Lucado.
5. Engage in wise, godly behavior whether anyone is looking or not. How tragic that someone would walk with Jesus for decades and then throw away their credibility by engaging in immorality.
6. Go beyond what is expected. Some people are forever taking short cuts. They do the bare minimum. Go beyond the minimum. Do what is expected and then some.
7. Do the right thing, even when it is very hard. Start with the seemingly insignificant decisions. One good decision will build on another.
8. Guard your mouth. How sad when a person opens his mouth and as a result destroys the respect that others previously had for him.
9. Be genuine. Don’t act one way in a meeting and then talk about the group members behind their back in a private conversation on the parking lot.
10. Demonstrate that you are worthy of another’s trust. Pay your debts, no matter how small. Keep your word. Do what you say you will do. You will gain the respect of others when they learn they can count on you.
Question:
What are other behaviors that tend to eventually create respect?
I really like this list. It makes lots of practial sense. For me, I respect people that rise up when everyone else is dragging. There are so many naysayers anymore, that that the person who “leads the charge” has my vote everytime!
David, I like this. Great point.
Great post Jim. I would add one that kind of cuts across almost all of yours: try the best you can to see things from the other person’s perspective. When you do that, your list actually becomes a little easier to do. Note that “easier” does NOT mean “easy” though!
Thanks Dave! You make a great point. Good insight.