The following are five ways marriages sometimes become unable to move.
1. We can become stuck in our habits. For example, some couples are so predictable in the way they disagree, they really don’t expect to resolve any issue. Yet, they continue year after year with the same unproductive way of disagreeing.
2. We can become stuck in our ruts. Such couples are on autopilot. The ruts are deep and any talk of change is typically directed at one’s spouse.
3. We can become stuck in our own dysfunction. Consequently, husbands and wives will sometimes resort to telling the other, “That’s just the way I am!” (Don’t expect anything else or anything more out of me.)
4. We can become stuck in the past. We can spend much of our energy rehearsing our spouse’s past failings. Over and over again, we allow this person’s sins and failures to occupy the stage of our minds.
5. We can become stuck in the wrong story. We can focus on hopelessness and despair and only see the ways that our marriage reflects this.
As Christian people, our story is that God created the world. It became broken due to our sin. God, however, never gave up on us. In Christ, God is putting things right again. This is a story of hope.
As married people who walk with Christ, we have resources that will help us as we share our lives together. God deeply loves us and can give us a new love for one another. The Holy Spirit gives us power, energy, and renewal. This is good news for anyone who is overwhelmed by the weight of marital issues. Finally, the resurrected Jesus gives us hope for the resurrection of our own marriages.
Life is too short and our marriages are too important to settle for wherever we might be stuck.
God is for us.
What would you add to these five?