When Men are Silent

alone-1_0Silence is golden.

Well, not always.

Sometimes silence can be dark — very dark.

Some men hurt their spouses and children with their sharp tongues and condescending putdowns.  Others hurt their families by their silence.

A woman regularly puts down her daughter-in-law who has always struggled with her weight.  During the Christmas holidays, she kept talking about men who left their wives after they gained excessive weight.  Her daughter-in-law saw this as an effort to embarrass her  before her family.  Yet, her husband said nothing.

A husband sits in his recliner as his wife shares her hurt over the way she was treated by her boss.  He says nothing.

An adult daughter spends a few days at her parents’ home.  One evening she makes fun of her mother and practically brings her to tears.  Her father says nothing.

An eight year old boy talks back to his mother.  He is belligerent and insulting.  The boy’s father says nothing.  He remains in his recliner watching the football game.  

At a family gathering, a loud mouth uncle makes several insulting and degrading comments about women.  He laughs and points to his niece as he makes these remarks.  Her husband stands by and says nothing.

Sometimes silence is appropriate.

However, there are occasions when silence is deadly.

A man’s silence can communicate volumes to his spouse or his children.  Silence may communicate that he is not emotionally present.  It may suggest that he will not stand up for his family.  Such silence may communicate that when a man’s wife is insulted or threatened, she is on her own.  Consequently, because of his silence she feels emotionally alone.

Real men know when to be silent and when to speak up.

Many men are too small and self-focused to speak up when their spouses are being demeaned or insulted.  Such silence is deadly and has a way of destroying the self-worth of a woman.


In what ways can a man’s silence hurt his wife or children?


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Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • darrylrlewis

    A man who is a minister for a church who is afraid of losing his job if he confronts the people who are hateful to his wife and children.
    Glad you’re back on the blog!