The following is a part of a series entitled "Ten Things I Have Learned about Ministry and Life." This is number three:
I have learned the best thing I can do for the
church as a minister is to take care of my life — my spiritual life, my
body, my emotions, etc.
Some churches seem to enjoy the idea of having a frazzled minister in their midst. This person is everywhere and doing everything and seems to be available for most anything. He appears to be exhausted.
A number of well-meaning ministers have bought into this style of ministry. Some do so out of a strong sense of call as well as their admiration of previous ministers who lived like this. Others, I suspect, may have bought into this lifestyle because it appeals to ego needs. Coming into the office and finding that a dozen people have called might cause a person to feel needed, valued, etc. It might cause a person to feel as if he is essential. ("What would this church do without me?") Being exhausted from ministry can give a person a feeling that this ministry really matters.
I have been here before. I know in my own life what feeling essential to a church can do in one’s own heart. After a while, the voices of the people can seem more important than the voice of God. I don’t want to go there again.
Yet, perhaps what churches need more than anything is to have ministers in their midst who are living healthy, godly lives. After all, Jesus makes a person fully human. I do not believe that Jesus intended for his followers (and that includes ministers) to live in such a way that we destroy ourselves and the people around us. I believe that the best thing that a mom and dad can bring to their children is an example of what it means to be fully human under Christ. The same is true of ministers and churches. The best thing I can do for the church I serve is to simply be human before them — fully human in Christ.
I am not talking about someone who has it together (or desires to create the image of having it all together) at any point in life. I am not talking about a perfect man/woman who has a perfect family who is on display for the church to see.
No, I am talking about something very real. I am talking about being a real man/woman who lives in a real family in the real world. Life is often very hard. Many of us deal with the stress and strain of financial issues, health concerns, family problems, and work concerns. The circumstances in which you and I live will often be very, very challenging. These circumstances, these problems, can be overwhelming and defeating. Can you relate to this? At times, I have felt completely overwhelmed by the problems and mess of ordinary life. At times, I have handled this well. At other times, I have not.
I want to suggest that it is very important in such a world to be intentional about what we do with our lives. A good place to begin is by taking a look at what is happening in our lives right now:
- Am I nurturing my walk with God? Am I living with a sense of his constant presence? Am I experiencing deep and abiding joy in him as I treasure him above all things?
- What about my body? Is there a sense that God really does care about the body he has given me? Or, do I think that the only thing that really matters is something "spiritual"? Could it be that one of the best uses of my body today might be to take a nap or teach my son/daughter how to dribble a basketball?
- What is happening inside me emotionally? Am I full of anger? Resentment? Perhaps, instead of saying "I shouldn’t feel this way," I need to explore this. If someone could see my emotions right now, what words would they use to describe what they see?
- What seems to be happening with my relationships? Am I regularly involved in intense conflict with someone? Why is that? What kind of patterns exist in my relationships? Do I regularly lose friends and burn bridges? How would my friends describe me?
Very well put! I’ve recently been going over this myself.
What a great topic and even a list of things I wish I had heard before beginning full-time ministry.Currently I find much enjoyment in working out at the local YMCA. Not only has it helped my physical body, but it helps my emotional side as well. The plus side is always the spiritual. The Lord has allowed me to meet several people outside of teh body of Christ. These people ask religious questions and we have religious discussions on the basketball court. What an opportunity.Once again, great list. I cannot wait to read more.
Thank you Kevin.
Chris,Thanks for your great comment. I am glad to hear what a blessing your time at the YMCA has been for you. I really do think this kind of self-care matters. Thanks!
I think this message speaks directly to mothers, as well. It’s amazing how frequently I’ve found that as moms we admire the mom who seems to have the most irons in the fire and demands the most of herself as a housewife, career woman, school volunteer, etc. I think it’s wonderful when women can live up to the incredible pressures all of those things put on them, but it makes me feel inadequate because I just get frazzled and difficult to get along with when I try to be supermom. I have so much more to offer my husband and my children when I treat myself to a girls’ night out with a friend or two, or when I take the time for regular exercise or to just be alone, or when I stretch myself mentally or spiritually with new books or a new study. If I don’t limit the activities or projects that I commit myself to I wind up stressing my family instead of blessing them. And I usually don’t know when I’m crossing that fine line until I’ve done it.
Karen Greer