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On Being a Jesus People — Together

June 23, 2008 in Jesus, Leadership, Spiritual Formation with 11 Comments

coffee36.jpgAre you a part of a Christian group?  Are you married?  Do you have children?  Do you work with a team of ministers?  Are you a part of a group of elders?  Are you in a leadership role in which you work with others who are also in leadership roles?  Are you a part of a small group ministry?

 
One of the most important questions we can ask is: "How are we functioning as a group?"  We may be great individuals, but how do we function as a team?  How do we function as a group?  A husband and wife may be great individuals but they might ask themselves how they function as a couple?  I have known many church leaders who were great people individually but did not function well as a part of a group.

 
Now I am not thinking about effectiveness.  Yes, there is a time to reflect upon how effective the group is in doing its task, carrying out its function, etc.   Rather, I want to reflect on how we are doing as Jesus-followers.  As a group, are we becoming more Jesus-like as we function together?

 
As a married person, not only am I called to be a Jesus-like man or woman but I am called to function together with my spouse in a Jesus-like manner also.  Together we are to grow in Jesus-likeness.

 
As a Christian leader, not only am I to be a person who is committed to serving in this capacity but I ought to be committed to function, along with the others, in a manner that is Jesus-like also.  Do we function in a manner so that Jesus is obviously the center of our group and not just our individual lives?

 
As a member of a small group in our church  (I am thinking small group ministry) not only am I to desire that we function well as a small group, but I also need to desire that this be a group that is growing in Jesus-likeness together.

 
The following are three challenges for those of us who work with other believers in these groups (again, this includes marriage and family):
 

  • Let us move from “I” to “we.”  Self-preoccupation has a way of pushing aside any sort of real growth toward the one who called us to deny self.
  • Let us consider that not only have we been called to
    be Jesus-like (individually) but we are called to have a     Jesus-like
    manner about us as we function as a     group     (or couple if thinking about marriage).
  • Let us realize that our presence and authenticity as Jesus-followers with one another, as a part of the church, must be prior
    to anything we might do or say to the church as a whole.          Far too often, ministers/church leaders are all too ready to want to do or say something to the church when in fact they are failing in the way they treat one another in their leadership group.  (Again, if you are thinking about marriage/family, this means that husbands/wives must  address their own Jesus-likeness as a priority and live out of that authenticity.)

What can a group do that might help keep this in focus as they function together?  What can a married couple do?

In Desperate Need of Sabbath

June 13, 2008 in Renewal, Self-Care, Spiritual Disciplines, Spiritual Formation with 11 Comments

coffee29.jpgI first heard Gordon MacDonald speak about the importance of "Sabbath" in his book Ordering Your Private World.  He spoke of the importance of Sabbath and rest.  Specifically, he spoke of the importance of having a "Sabbath," as a part of a rhythm to one’s life, where there is regular rest and reflection.


Many of us are very busy, very active, and very connected.  Blackberry. Twitter.  Facebook.   E-mail.  Instant message.  Yet, we may give little serious thought or reflection to our activity.  It is possible to live as a person who is "connected" but who is not practicing much reflection on what has happened, what is happening, or what might happen in our lives.  Without reflection, I may find myself moving rapidly through life while I spend little time contemplating the meaning of it all.  Your life and mine are being formed and shaped.  The question is: "What is shaping us?  What is forming us?  What are we becoming if we continue to live just as we are presently living?"

 
Do I have any space in my life in which I think about my day, my week, or my month?   Is there space in which I reflect on the meaning of these activities?  What about my personal behavior and my relationships?   Does my life this week reflect that I am serious about the matters that Jesus said are front and center?  Has my life this week expressed that I genuinely and deeply love God?  Has my life this week expressed "neighbor love"?

 
I have found it very, very helpful to stop each week and reflect on my words and actions and how those fit with what I profess to be very important. 

 
There is a sense in which my work is never finished — and yet maybe it is.  What I mean is this: I don’t think that I have ever come to the end of a workday and said, "You know, I just don’t have anything to do now.  I think I will go home."  Never.  There is always something that could be done.

 
Yet, there is another sense in which my work is finished.  I come to the end of a day, a week, a month.  There is not unlimited time.  In fact, everything has its limits.  My time.  My energy.  My body.  The idea is not to see how much I can get done, as if I were a machine.  Rather, I want to live and work with a view of my purpose before God.   

 
Loren Wilkinson, in a recent article in "The Regent World" (Spring 2008, Vol. 20, No. 2), has written an excellent piece on "Sabbath."  I liked this paragraph in particular:

 
It is good to be a pilgrim on the way, but that good is balanced by another, more elusive, good: the ability to be in a place at rest and at peace.  That good is the goal of the biblical discipline of Sabbath.  And people have never been in more desperate need of Sabbath than we are in the 21st century, in constant touch as we are (through cell phones, Internet, and e-mail) with every place on the planet, unable to be really at home and at peace in any place at all.

 

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See the featured video this week at God-Hungry Live: an interview with Eugene Peterson.   

Moving Beyond Reaction

June 10, 2008 in Emotional Maturity, Relationships, Spiritual Formation with 6 Comments

coffee30.jpgThey are everywhere!

 
People who just react.  People who drain the life out of gatherings as they react to others in ways that are immature, curt, and abrupt.  Like letting the air out of a balloon, they have a way of deflating most any conversation.  Even worse, they are often allowed to deflate the dreams and the spirit of very fine men and women.

 
I really don’t want to be like that.  Do you?  I identify with the questions raised in The Leader’s Journey, a fine work by Jim Herrington, R. Robert Creech, and Trisha Taylor:

 
"How do I get to the place where I am consistently able to choose a response rather than simply to react?  How can I grow emotionally and spiritually to the place where I am capable, more often than not, of choosing what I believe to be God’s will in my role as leader rather than yielding to the pressures to do something else?   This is the transformational journey."  (p. 23)

 
The authors believe that this journey is rooted in the living and active presence of Jesus.  He is the dynamic presence who is present with us at every moment.  This transformation is all encompassing.  

 
Part of this transformation involves a process of maturity that moves us toward taking our cues from Jesus instead of other people.  To again quote the authors:

 
"Differentiation is the ability to remain connected in relationship to significant people in our lives and yet not have our reactions and behavior determined by them."  (p. 18)

 
I believe this is incredibly important.   I would enjoy hearing your response to these two quotes.

 
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I am thankful for patient tutors.  My two daughters have been very patient as I am still trying to figure out Facebook.  (For a link to my page see the "About" section to the right.)  Meanwhile, my friend Scott Meyer patiently tutored me through setting up the God-Hungry Live video site.  (Again, the "About" section to the right.)  
 

Reflecting on Your Life

April 18, 2008 in Spiritual Disciplines, Spiritual Formation, Spiritual Life with 11 Comments

coffee_cup_white.jpgIf I were to look at a DVD of my life, what would I see?  What would I see on video on the screen in front of me?

 
Now that is personal.  I suspect, if your life is normal, you would see a variety of behaviors, thoughts, motives.  You might see a moment that makes you smile as you remember an incident.  You might see some other moments that cause you to cringe.

 
We do think about our past or our history.  Hopefully we will do some serious reflection on our lives in light of Jesus’ Lordship.  Without reflection, we mindlessly repeat behaviors again and again.

 
First, I need to reflect on my willingness to take responsibility for my life.  I want to think about my own responsibility to follow Jesus as a disciple.  Do I live as a person who is serious about him?

 
Yet, it is easy to spend much of life blaming and projecting blame on others for the choices I have made.  "If it weren’t for . . ."  How can genuine transformation take place if I am preoccupied with focusing on what others have done to me?

 
At some point in my life, I need to deal with the choices and decisions I have made regardless of how I have been treated, whether good or bad.

 
Second, I want to reflect on the various hurts or wounds I have received in life.  You know about these wounds.  They can leave a person:
 

  • Fearful.  After all, you have never been able to count on very many people. 
  • Overly self-protective.  After all, when you have put yourself "out there," you have gotten burned.
  • Insecure.  It keeps you from trying anything new.  You fear you might fail.  Or, you fear you might succeed and then you can make no more excuses.

Some wounds come from our families of origin.  A father abandons his teenage children while he moves in with his girlfriend.  A mother is critical and negative toward her children, leaving them feeling as if they can never measure up.  Another comes out of a church experience that is negative and legalistic.

 
I think about the person who was wounded by the abandonment she felt as a child and then as a teenager.  As a child, she wondered why no one wanted to be with her.  She longed for a life that many people seemed to have.  She wanted a life in which people did the right thing and the family was intact.  Later on she learned with joy that God really did want to be with her. 

 
Such experiences can become your frame of reference for years to come.  I want to ask whether or not I am so focused on my wounds and the hurt behind them that I really don’t see anyone else’s wounds.

 
Third, I want to reflect on my "private thoughts" (Gordon MacDonald, When Men Think Private Thoughts, p. XVII-XIX).  MacDonald has suggested that we might want to look at these four areas in particular: one’s fears, comparisons that are made, any illusions of personal grandeur, and one’s feelings.  

 
Fourth, I need to reflect on my relationships.  MacDonald suggests some key inventory questions that might be helpful for one to contemplate:
 

  • Am I generally a drain on people I am around or do others find me energy-producing and encouraging?
  • How do I behave when I am frustrated?  Do I run over people?  Would others describe me as harsh and abrupt? 
  • How would my children describe my temperament at home?
  • Am I a people builder?  What am I trying to build into the people around me?
  • Am I enjoyable to be with?
  • Do I show a keen interest in the people around me?
  • In conversation, do I tend to monopolize?
  • Am I sarcastic, cutting or rude?  Do I use subtle put-downs?   

Begin Your Week With Street-Level Faith

February 18, 2008 in Spiritual Formation, Spiritual Life with 8 Comments

coffee17_1.jpgA friend of mine has been doing inner-city ministry for over twenty-seven years.  He and his family began their ministry by moving into a very tough neighborhood.  A few years ago, I learned that my friend had a longtime relationship with the head football coach of the high school in our community.  I was in the school gym one day, saw the coach, and told him about my relationship with our mutual friend.  His reply?  "He’s a good man.  He’s got a street-level faith."

 
There is something about the phrase "street-level faith" that I like.  (I have written about this before.)  I suspect part of my appreciation for the phrase is rooted in its earthy feel.  It is a reminder to me that faith is not just fodder for discussion or debate.  Nor is faith just a topic for Sunday discussion.  Rather, it speaks to the way I live and where I find my identity.  

 
I am almost finished with Robert Mulholland’s book The Deeper Journey.  (The subtitle is: "The Spirituality of Discovering Your True Self.")  Yesterday, I came across this paragraph: 


Our false self, having removed the roots of our identity, meaning, value and purpose from loving union with God, sinks those roots into multiple alternative soils where we seek to find our identity, meaning, value, and purpose.  Among such soils are our sexuality, our possessions, our status, our profession, our performances, our relationships, our woundedness, our resentments, our bitterness, our culture, our ethnicity, our place (geographical, emotional, psychological), our intellect, our education, ad infinitum. (p. 111)

When I think about these "alternative soils," I think about the critical need in my own life, and perhaps yours, for a faith that is rooted in God and consequently my daily life as well.   It is possible to speak of God on Sunday (with all sincerity) but then root our lives elsewhere so that "our identity, meaning, value, and purpose" are actually coming from some other source.

 
So what difference does this make on a practical level?  It means that while I speak of God and say that I follow him, I actually treasure my possessions, status, profession, etc. more.  After all, this is where I am finding my identity and security.  If I do treasure these areas of my life more than I treasure God, I will have a greater passion toward these areas than I have toward God.  

 
(Memo to ministers/pastors/church leaders:  This can be very deceptive for those of us who serve in these roles.  It is possible to have a great passion for what we are doing every day and yet very little of that may actually be rooted in our passion for God.  For instance, a person in one of these roles may have a great passion for some aspect of ministry.  Yet, this passion may actually be rooted in the way we treasure our status, our sense of self-importance, or the attention that we are getting from others.  I may need to examine my motives.  I would like for my motives to be totally pure, but I know that my flesh, my pride, etc. can easily enter in to what are otherwise very good motives.  I want to live close to God so that the impure motives in my heart become apparent to me and are replaced by the desire to display God.  I want to get my life focused on God so that I begin to treasure him above all "alternative soils."  I pray that I will treasure him more than these.)

 
You might give this one some thought.  Think about where your life is rooted.   Can you relate to the deceptive pull of these "alternative soils"?

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