Some people lean into the future. Others never seem to leave the past.

Recently I heard a news report about a local school that was closing due to finances. At one point in the report, one of the teachers was interviewed. She described the challenge facing all who are connected with the school. She spoke about the choice they had to make.

“Are we going to be proactive or reactive? Being reactive focuses on what we have lost. Being proactive focuses on what we have to gain.”

Wow!

Isn’t this the choice so many of us face?

Some people are reactive. They are forever talking about what used to be. They seem to define themselves by the unfortunate things that happened in their lives. They seem to define themselves by what they are not. They seem to focus on what they have lost.

Others are proactive. They stand on tiptoes peering into the future. For these people, life is meant to be lived. They believe that God’s providential wind is at their back. They believe and trust in his care. They look to the future focused on what might be gained.

This seems to be a part of life. We deal with losses. If you’ve lost a job, a friend, or a member of your family, you know something about loss. Others have lost their health. Still others lost a dream and became cynical or resigned themselves to the status quo.

There is a way to acknowledge the losses and even grieve them. The losses are very real. Then, however, we move on! We trust God and lean into the future.

So what about you? Will your focus and energy be centered on what you have lost? Or, will you trust God and believe that the future has promise.

Question

What has been helpful to you in moving on after a loss? How can we move on and focus on what we have to gain?

Jamie and Cal told us about it and a few weeks ago we finally went to Mutts Amazing Hot Dogs in Oklahoma City. The menu is incredible.   

(My hot dog, “The Windy City Dog,” is on the far right.)

The sign is right; these hot dogs are amazing.

Yet, I am even more grateful to be able to witness some amazing people.

1. Husbands and wives who are committed to one another and Jesus and who find joy even as they work through their marital issues.

2. People who are generous with their money, supporting good works and ministries that bless people on the margin.

3. Ministers who are relentless about growing and learning though they have served in their roles for many years.

4. Men and women who keep abreast of the important political issues of the day yet temper their conversations regarding these issues with wisdom and grace.

5. Couples in their 20s who are getting serious about Jesus, serving him through their work and mission trips and volunteering with ministries that serve disadvantaged neighborhoods.

6. Teenagers who spend their spring break serving the poor and giving their time to others instead of going where they could relax and do what they wanted for fun.

7. Men who grow up, refusing to remain little boys, and model kingdom living before their families.

8. People who are incredibly grateful to God though life has been rough and extraordinarily painful at times.

9. Family members who care for chronically or even terminally ill loved ones, often foregoing their own plans and preferences.

10. Mothers and dads who care for their special needs children with grace though it is exhausting and often incredibly difficult.

If you want to grow old in a hurry, just keep talking about growing old.

Have you ever noticed?

• Some people seem young at 70 while others appear to get old at 50. Much of this has its roots in attitude.
• Some people are always talking about being old. This probably says more about that person’s attitude than age.
• Some people act as if life is over once their kids are out of college. They seem to no longer have any purpose.
• Some people never seem to grow up. Their immaturity prevents them from becoming a person who could contribute so much more to their families and others.

A number of years ago, Charlotte and I were guests in a home of some very fine people. This man had experienced a good career and was now retired. We walked into the house and immediately noticed that everything was dated–very dated. I felt like we had gone back in time at least fifteen years. Their children were now grown, yet, there were no recent pictures of them. Instead, the pictures on the wall appeared to have been taken when they were in college.

It was as if time had stood still for these parents.

This same dynamic sometimes occurs with people who are much younger. For example, a guy can sometimes get stuck in his high school years when he played football. He continues to bring up his glory years on the field. No problem with reminiscing. However, he talks as if those years were when he experienced real life.

So how does a person move through life?

1. Be fully present in whatever age you are. Live in the moment. Be careful about focusing on the “good old days” while you miss the joy of being present in this moment.

2. Stop talking about your age as if it were a liability. Many people get tired of hearing others go on and on about their age. Instead, be thankful that you are alive.

3. See aging as the opportunity to grow in wisdom instead of a downhill slide into irrelevancy. Don’t buy the cultural myths.

4. Choose to grow, learn, develop, and try new things for the rest of your life. Such intentional living will keep you more alive and vibrant than spending years passively sitting in a recliner.

5. As a Christ-follower, believe that the best is yet to come. Savor those wonderful past experiences but know that what is to come far outweighs what you have already experienced.

I won’t forget that Christmas.

I was a junior in college and working nights at UPS. That Christmas my family was going to Arkansas to see my grandparents and other relatives. For some reason, which I do not remember, I decided to stay home and not go with them. They left several days before Christmas. I worked all night at UPS each night while they were gone until Christmas Eve. I was off both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I was home alone both days. I soon realized what a big mistake I had made. I could not believe I had not gone with my family to Arkansas. I was aggravated that I had made such a decision. I also felt silly. This was another decision I had made without thinking through the consequences. In those years, I seemed to make such decisions far too often.

While I was home that Christmas, I thought about my life, my decisions, and my future. Those two days turned out to be a milestone for me. I wrote my thoughts in a notebook. Years later, I still have this notebook.

Some of the conclusions I reached:

1. No one was holding their breath waiting to see what I was going to do with my life. Most people had enough of their own problems to worry about.

2. I could continue to not put forth my best effort in some of my classes at the university but I was only hurting myself.

3. I could learn from some of the frustrations I had experienced or I could let these frustrations become excuses.

4. My future could be better but I would need to make better decisions.

5. Much of the work I needed to do in my life was relational. I needed to learn how to invest in people and get my focus off myself.

In many ways, those two days were decisive.

I came away from those two days more focused on the future than I had been. Consequently, I began to make better decisions in the present. What about you? Can you point to a time when you thought through the direction of your life and as a result found much clarity?