Many people start. Fewer finish.

Consider what we begin:

• A marriage begins with a wedding.
• A student begins an academic program.
• A homeowner begins a do-it-yourself project remodeling the family’s kitchen.
• A person begins a blog.
• A church member takes on and begins a project for the congregation.

Many people begin. Fewer finish.

This past weekend, our family and some friends gathered in the Lloyd Noble Arena at the University of Oklahoma to support our daughter Jamie, as she received her Master of Social Work degree after several hard years of study and work. As you might imagine, I was a very proud father.

I was especially proud that she had finished.

Years ago, I received a Doctor of Ministry degree from Harding Graduate School of Theology. Shortly after graduation, Ken Dye, a longtime friend, said to me:

“You finished! A lot of people start things, but you finished!”

I especially appreciated this because I once came very close to dropping out of college as an undergraduate at the University of North Texas.

I was a first semester junior and was very discouraged. I was struggling in several of my classes. One day, I decided to quit. I cut my classes that day and went to Dallas in search of another direction. I first went to an electronics school and talked with them. Then I went to a school that trained radio announcers. Finally, I went to the Dallas Police Department.

At the police department, I talked with a person about the application process. Then at the end of the conversation, another officer joined us. This officer was an African-American gentleman in his late 40s. He was dressed in plain clothes, a sportcoat and slacks. He sat across the table from me and smoked his pipe. At one point he said,

“Son, if you are interested in this, we will be glad to talk with you. My suggestion to you, however, would be to finish college. Don’t quit now.”

I didn’t, and to this day I am grateful for this person’s candor.

Before you quit anything:

1. Remember once again why you began this course of action. Remember why you started this degree program. Remember why you got married. Remember why you volunteered for this project.

2. Know that anything worth doing is probably going to be very difficult at times. In fact, there may be moments when you feel stuck. Before you quit, ask yourself, “Is this to be expected?”

3. Many people will exit once something becomes really difficult. Anything worthwhile is going to have its “but-this-is-hard” moments.

4. Seek to make progress just today. Take a step or two forward.

5. Talk with people who have a track record of persevering. Learn from them. Remember that there will be far more people who will give you reasons why you should quit.

6. Pray, thanking God for the ways you can become more Christlike even through a very difficult process.

Book Review: Subversive Kingdom

Ed Stetzer has written an interesting and inspiring book about the subversive nature of the kingdom.

What does it mean to be a part of the kingdom of Jesus? Stetzer pushes back against status quo Christian living by presenting a robust guide to help the reader imagine life in the kingdom of God. We are called to live a subversive life in that our loyalty has changed from one kingdom to another.

Stetzer suggests that the kingdom is not only a different way of thinking and living but also is a mandate for action.

What does it mean to be rescued? What does it mean for our kingdom loyalties to be changed? We respond by living subversive lives. We “rebel against the rebellion.” Stetzer does a wonderful job of unpacking this.

He answers the questions so many of us ask as we consider the kingdom life. What are the implications of such a life? What does this look like in everyday, normal life? Again and again, Stetzer reminds the reader that the answers regarding the practical implications of the subversive life are found in Jesus and the Gospels. He invites us to think about the broken world and the mission of Jesus in this world and, consequently, the mission that the church carries out.

As one who teaches/preaches each week, I found his book particularly helpful. Far too often, Christians speak of the kingdom life with a vagueness that is difficult to grasp on street level. Consequently, the kingdom life remains a theory instead of a distinct lifestyle. I found the chapters “Uncommonly Good” and “Rules of Engagement” to be especially strong as Stetzer speaks regarding the power of the kingdom life in this world. He fleshes this out for the reader by providing a good picture of what this life might look like every day.

He concludes with the section “A Subversive Plan of Action.” The book was helpful in expressing some of these issues in a concise, memorable manner. This should be helpful to the readers in general and to preachers who attempt to communicate some of these concepts to congregations. For example, he writes that there are two critical questions that should follow one’s initial identification as a citizen of the kingdom:

What is the King’s mission?

What is my role in the King’s mission?

The book contains the wonderful vision of what the kingdom looks like when it is lived out on this earth. It is a reminder that the kingdom, unlike “conventional church,” is robust and dynamic. In fact, the ordinary man or woman can live a significant kingdom life by simply following Jesus in the ordinary course of everyday living.

(Note: I received a complimentary advanced reader copy for review.)

This may be one of the best posts Jeff Goins has written: “When You’re Scared to Death, Do Something Anyway.” I really enjoy reading Jeff’s posts. You might enjoy this great interview with Jeff Goins.

Pictures of the day

You might enjoy these pictures from The Telegraph (UK). I especially like the first one.

Do you read fiction?

I confess. I read very little fiction. I am wondering if I should not be reading more. See this post from Scot McKnight.

What they are thinking

You might be interested in this chart from Scot McKnight’s blog entitled “What Young Adults Care About.”

“What are three things you wish you had done that you didn’t do?”

These people responded with a number of answers. The three most prevalent responses were:

“Take more risk.”

“Reflect more.”

“Focus more on things that will live beyond me.”

I have thought about how I might answer this question. I probably would say, “Focus more on what I desire to do and not allow fear to hold me back.”

How would you answer this question?

1. Live an insular life. Live as if you were on a remote island. You have probably seen ministers like this. Some live this way within their own congregations. Others exist like this within their fellowship or denomination. They live and function with their lives centered around concerns that are small and unrelated to kingdom issues.

As a result, my concerns become either the intramural concerns of a particular group/denomination or the local concerns of my congregation. As a result, I fail to see the larger issues and concerns that impact the world.

An insular ministry can be toxic! It will shrink your thinking and dwarf your faith. This is a slow death which is often painful for the congregation to endure. Unfortunately, its victims are often unaware of its presence until it has become a chronic condition.

Nothing has been more refreshing to me than to explore the issues and concerns of the world through reading, conversations, etc. If I don’t do this on purpose, my thinking will be reduced to the immediate. One way to begin is with drinking coffee and eating lunch with some people who think beyond your immediate context. Start with college students or if you are fairly young with an older, thoughtful person. As they speak about their concerns, listen intently – not to answer but to understand.

2. Sabotage your ministry with your negative, cynical spirit. Yes, as with any family, you probably see the flaws, inconsistencies, and failings of your congregation or particular fellowship. Some people become negative and cynical as they experience life or ministry. Of course, there is nothing wrong with pointing out a flaw in an effort to deal with it or in some way make it better

However, the minster who communicates more cynicism than hope has a way of wearing out a congregation. After awhile, these barbs or cynical remarks are not seen as insight or depth but as the grousing of a worn out minister. Those cynical remarks that may have been humorous at one point, now seem shallow and boring.

After awhile, some may begin to wonder: “Is there nothing good about our congregation? Is there nothing good about our fellowship?”

I have found that I cannot spend a great deal of time with negative, cynical people. I can easily take on that spirit. Often, in the mornings, I think about the attitude I want to have that day. Otherwise I can let my emotions or moods determine how I begin the day.

(to be continued)

I couldn’t believe it.  

The house was huge.  

It seemed like the house covered much of the block.  I was in college working for a company based in the Dallas area. On the instruction sheet were directions to this home located in an exclusive part of Dallas.  I was going to the home of the daughter of the president of this company.   I didn’t know what was in the envelope.  I just knew that I was supposed to have it signed and return it.

I pulled the car in front of the house and walked to the service entrance and rang the bell.  A woman answered the door.  She apparently was a part of the domestic staff.  She told me to follow her.  We walked through a very long room.  I looked through the plate glass window to the outside and couldn’t believe how big the yard was.  Swimming pool, gardens, etc.  It was huge!

A woman was sitting on a couch.  She looked very somber.  She looked as if she had been crying.  I handed the brown envelope to her.  

It was then that I realized I was delivering her divorce papers.  

I thought about how quiet this house was.  It was a big house.  It was a beautiful house.  It was a house like no other I had ever been in.  Yet, here was this woman who was in tears over what was happening.

Later that afternoon, I got off work and went home to my parents’ house in southeast Dallas.  Compared to the home I had been in earlier, my parents’ home was modest, significantly smaller, and in a middle-class neighborhood.  I realized that my parents had something positive in their lives that I had not seen in that sprawling home.

Yet, during my lifetime so far, I had spent far too much time thinking “if only.”

If only I had a larger house.  If only I had more money. If only I had a better work situation. If only our church was better than it is.

Does this sound familiar to you?  

Some of us spend years wishing for more and never experiencing the joy of contentment.

“I have learned the secret of being content…” (Philippians 4:12).

What a statement regarding contentment!

Sure, (we think), contentment is possible for those who are living the good life.  Sure it is possible for those who seem to be doing well in life.  Sure it is possible for those who are not threatened by layoffs or bankruptcy.

Surely this can’t be possible for those who have problems with their children.
Surely this can’t be possible for those who wrestle with addictions.
Surely this can’t be possible for those who have a less than desirable marriage.

Or, you may have more than you realize. After all, through Christ, it is possible to experience a contentment that brings joy (Philippians 4:10-13).

Maybe instead of nursing your discontentment, you need to celebrate what you have in Christ.

Question

Does this sound familiar? What has helped you with discontentment?  

What has helped you experiencethe joy of contentment found in Jesus?

You may be married.

You may have a good job.

You may be a part of a church.

However (the thinking goes), these should not come at your expense. As a result, many men and women make decisions they never dreamed they would make.

A man leaves his young wife and small child for another woman.

A middle-aged woman leaves her husband who has just learned he has cancer. She doesn’t want to have to take care of him.

Far too many people conclude that if something appears to be a “better offer” it is only reasonable to abandon one’s commitments so that one doesn’t miss this new opportunity.

Contrast this thinking with the person who practices self-forgetfulness for the sake of Jesus.

Paul writes in Philippians 2:3-7:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing …

John Ortberg, in The Life You’ve Always Wanted, writes:

Humility has to do with submitted willingness.  It involves a healthy self-forgetfulness.

The following are three suggestions for living a life of self-forgetfulness:
1. Celebrate with others when good, positive things come their way.
2. Refuse to waste time and energy wading through the “But what about me?” swamp. Such a perspective on life is energy draining and counterproductive.
3. Lose your life for the sake of Jesus and others. Remember Jesus who was committed to you at his own expense. Believe that you will actually find your life if you will not cling or grasp to what you have.

You May Be Thinking About Technology and Relationships.

This TED talk made me think. Professor Sherry Turkle speaks about why we seem to expect more from technology and less from each other.

You May Be Thinking About Ministry.

Gene Wilkes (a great guy!) has written an important post: “4 Things I Learned in 25 Years of Ministry.” Ministers really ought to read this post.

Rick McKinley interviews Eugene Peterson (video). “‘Pastor’ is not a job description; it really is a life that is shaped in a certain way.” Eugene Peterson really makes me think about ministry.

You May Be Thinking About Your Faith.

Lanny Davis (attorney and political commentator) has written a fine post. “What Chuck Colson taught me about using the word hate.‘”

Perhaps You Are Thinking About Your Life.

Kara Alexander has written a very thoughtful post about raising small children and the tendency to enroll them in numerous extracurricular activities.

Here are some very practical ideas for living a missional life. Josh Reeves has written: “25 Simple Ways to be Missional in Your Neighborhood.” Be sure to read his second post as well: “25 More Ways to Easily be Missional in Your Neighborhood.”

How many times have you said “Right now I am under a lot of pressure.”

Many years ago, the Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus was performing in Detroit’s Kobo Hall.  The key event was the high-wire act performed by the Walenda family. They were probably the greatest high-wire workers of all circus history. The act the Flying Walendas performed in those days was the four-level pyramid: four or five people on bottom, three or four next, then two, and then one little girl on top. Their act was unprecedented.

Night after night the four-level pyramid would make its way from one end of the wire to the other. They had performed this feat all over the world.

As the show came to an end, this particular evening, the Walendas, as usual, got ready for their feat. The lights were turned low, and the people were very quiet in expectation of the moment. This four-level pyramid began to make its way across the wire. About two-thirds of the way across, one man on the bottom, Deter Walenda, felt his knees begin to tremble and then shake.

He cried out.

I cannot hold on any longer!With that cry, he fell. The entire pyramid collapsed. Several of the Walendas were crippled for life. One died. Pressure.

Can you relate to this feeling? I certainly can!

This is what has helped me:

1. When I feel like this, I realize that I need to re-prioritize. I go through my list of things to do and begin to cull.

2. When I feel like this, I may need a day off. I may need to do something totally different for a day. Go out of town. Work in the yard. Have a more intense exercise time at the gym.

3. When I feel like this, I may have attracted too much clutter. Typically, I will begin cleaning up a cluttered drawer or office. Then I will attack a cluttered schedule or to do list. Maybe I need to be more intentional about my life. Perhaps I need more space built into it.

Question:

What helps you when you are under pressure?

Habits that will help you keep your sanity as a Christian leader:

1. Have a strong sense of call. Is this your vocation (calling) or is this just a career? Do you have a sense that God has been working in your life all along, preparing you for your ministry? Prayer and a sense of God’s providence are incredibly important.

2. Deal with the elephants in the room. Name them and write them down. What is sucking the life and energy out of our minister group or elder group? What are the elephants in the room? What is an obvious problem among our church leaders and yet we remain silent?

3. Make a decision, no matter how small, and follow through. Indecision is a huge energy drainer. Even decisions that may seem relatively small, but are followed by taking one step forward, can give great encouragement and energy to a congregation.

4. Focus on your own functioning, instead of focusing on everyone else. Move away from “if only” thinking. Instead, focus on what you are going to say, what you are going to do, and how you will choose to spend your time this week. If you will focus on your emotional growth, your spiritual growth, and your growth as a leader, you will experience less stress.

5.  Be a lifelong learner. It may be tempting to rely on your giftedness. You may want to prove to people that you have what it takes. Others rely on their formal education. However, that too can go by the wayside quickly.

Lifelong learners intend to grow, develop, and mature. Much learning is “on purpose.” We are at an advantage when we desire and intend to learn. For example, I have learned much from reading. I can point to several biographies and a few other books as well that have been important in my growth and development. Yet, there are many other ways to be intentional about learning.

Lifelong learners have learned and are learning. There is nothing arrogant about acknowledging that I have learned something. I have lived, thought, and studied for a number of years. I can honestly say I have learned a few things about life and ministry. At the same time, I continue to learn and have much to learn.

6.   Create an encouraging environment. Commit to create an encouraging environment among the other church leaders in the congregation. It is awfully hard to develop an encouraging environment in the congregation when the leaders don’t have that commitment among themselves. This has implications for how ministers/elders talk about one another in one another’s absence. It also has implications for how we talk to one another.