The following are some resources for the week that you might enjoy. These are links to posts, articles, etc. that in some way caused me to think. Maybe you will find some of these useful as well.
A Tiny Life Ends in South Sudan. I read this piece in the New York Times recently. Very sobering. This a stark reminder of the impact of disease and poverty on families in South Sudan (and so many other places). Periodically, I have to read articles like this to bring perspective to my life and work.
Peter Scazzero has written a good post. Summer Reading Picks 2012. I appreciate lists like this.
What a great piece! How to Miss the Point: A Guide to Dimwitted Discourse. (Originally seen on Scot McKnight’s blog.)
Have you ever worked with someone who constantly attempted to micromanage you? You might find Michael Hyatt’s post “How to Manage a Micromanager” useful.
Paul Tripp has written a new book entitled Dangerous Calling: Confronting the Unique Challenges of Pastoral Ministry. I have not read the book but did enjoy the brief video promo that you can find here. This sounds very interesting.
(The following post is written with church leaders in mind. However, others might find this useful as well.)
Have you noticed that some people love to learn?
Last night, a wonderful young guy in our church shared a part of his life/faith story. Part of his talk included his work life as a firefighter and the many classes and special training he has undertaken. Throughout his career, he has been devoted to learning and growing. Not surprisingly, he has continued to advance in the fire department in which he serves. He is now a fire marshall. I suspect he will be intentional about learning and growing for the rest of his life.
Have you noticed that some people continue to grow and develop as ministers, pastors, elders, etc. while others put very little energy into learning?
Madeleine L’Engle, in her book Two-Part Invention, speaks of her early years in the 1920s when she was single and working in the theater. She writes:
One of our roommates came because of the piano. She was a budding musician and filled the apartment with Beethoven, Brahms, and Bach, though after she came I played only when she was around. She grew as she played, not only in technique but in maturity. The great masters pushed her as she tried faithfully to go where they led. We do learn and develop when we are exposed to those who are greater than we are. Perhaps this is the chief way we mature.
I love these lines.
We do learn and develop when we are exposed to those who are greater than we are.
I came across this powerful line in Patrick Morley’s newest book Man Alive (p. 13)
You don’t have to settle for being half-alive.
I thought about this for several days. I think it stayed with me because I’ve seen so many men and women who shut down long before they actually died.
- The man who sits in his recliner at 40 years of age and complains about being old.
- The woman who seems to have shut down once her children left home.
- The man in his 50s who constantly talks about the years in which he played high school football.
- The minister who sounds bland and bored as he speaks to the congregation.
So what do half-alive people look like?
The following are some of the posts that I read within the past week. Hopefully you will find a post or two in this list that you find useful.
Working in coffee shops
Wade Hodges recently moved from Austin to Dallas. He has written three fine posts on his experiences in working in a coffee shop. These are great! See: “In Search of a Good Coffee Shop,” “Five Lessons I’ve Learned from Working in Coffee Houses” and “My Coffee Shop Nemesis“.
Learning to face fear
Former FBI agent, LaRae Quy reflects on learning to face your fears. It was helpful
to read through her steps.
You might find “Supernatural Parenting” encouraging. Wisdom from a pediatrician (Thanks to Scot McKnight)
For church leaders
John Frye’s recent posts regarding pastoral ministry have been outstanding! Don’t miss John’s most recent post which was posted on Jesus Creed, Scot McKnight’s blog. You can find John’s blog here.
Don’t miss Andy Rowell’s post on the practical nature of ecclesiology.
Thinking about God
See this excellent post by Jeff Cook, “Could Believing in God Harm Your Soul“?
Each Thursday, I write a post that is designed with church leaders in mind. Many of these Thursday posts, however, are applicable to those who are not church leaders. Church leaders and lay people both may find today’s post useful.
During July, I sat in a restaurant with a wonderful man in his 80s. He is a former college professor, administrator, and minister. He continues to think, grow, and make a difference. I asked him to lunch because of particular questions I had about life as well as ministry. I have always valued his wisdom from a distance. This conversation, however, would be in person and last about an hour and a half.
My friend was generous with his time, his insight, and his wisdom. After the conclusion of the lunch, I wrote several pages in my journal, carefully recording his answers to my questions. I have read through these notes several times. The conversation was one of the most valuable experiences I had in July.
One of the most important practices of my ministry has been creating the opportunities to learn from various people by simply asking questions. I will ask someone to coffee or lunch and then ask questions about life, ministry, or leadership. I have learned so much from these conversations.
I continue to seek out people whom I can learn from. Let me encourage you to do the same.
The Penn State scandal has underscored a fundamental issue that is present in far too many of us:
Some of us are more concerned about the image we project than the kind of person we really are.
I once heard the story of a couple that purchased a house in an exclusive neighborhood north of Dallas. They moved into the house and immediately put up coverings over each window. Months later this couple was arrested and indicted for their participation in some fraudulent scheme. Authorities came to their home and discovered that the house was basically empty. They had a cardboard table, a couple of folding chairs, a television, and a single mattress.
The story revealed that the couple had sold their previous home and belongings. They moved into this exclusive neighborhood to create the impression that they were doing quite well financially. This home was way beyond their means, and they were able to live there only after selling all their belongings. Neighbors noticed they never opened their blinds or curtains. That was because they didn’t want anyone to see that the house was practically empty.
Some people are willing to do most anything to create a particular kind of image. Image, however, is not a substitute for character.
Image people want to appear cool wherever they are. If they are on the road traveling with business associates, they want to appear totally with whatever is happening. If they are at church, they want to appear to be the devoted family person. Image wants others to know they are “in.”
Image people want others to think they are not lacking in any way. They may make statements to their family members such as:
- You don’t want people to think we can’t afford to buy nice things.
- You don’t want people to think we buy cheap clothes.
- You don’t want people to think we can’t go on great trips.
- You don’t want people to think we don’t get invited to nice parties.
- You don’t want people to think we live in an old neighborhood.
- You don’t want people to think our kids are not as good as theirs.
Image people are far more concerned with the way they appear than the way they are. Their Facebook status always communicates that they live one awesome, glorious life every moment of the day. Really?
They are more concerned about the way others perceive them than the reality of their lives. This is one reason why a person’s public and private persona can be so different.
Focusing on our image while we neglect our character is like having a manicured lawn around our home while we neglect the cracking foundation. The house may look appealing at first glance but may be in serious trouble due to a neglected foundation.
You might be interested in one or more of the following links. Most of these resources surfaced within the last four weeks.
If you feel overwhelmed
This is a great article, by Peter Bregman, that appeared in The Harvard Business Review: “Two Lists You Should Look at Every Morning.”
For an interesting read
You might consider looking at The Browser: Writing Worth Reading. This is an interesting website that features “Today on FiveBooks Interviews” in which various people suggest the best reading on any subject.
You might enjoy these two interviews with Ian Morgan Cron on the life of a writer. See part 1 here and part 2 here. Be sure to see the notes on each page. Cron is the author of Jesus, My Father, The CIA, and Me, which is an excellent book that explores in particular the relationship between a boy and his father.
Thinking about ministry
John Fry has written two good posts in which he offers some very insightful comments regarding pastoral ministry. See “Are ‘Pastors’ The Problem?” and “Is ‘Pastor’ a Volatile Word?”
Critical situations in the world
While I was away, I read Jeffrey Gettleman’s startling piece in The New York Times on the thousands of children who are fleeing Sudan. Oh my goodness.
I also read this sobering piece about a 13-year-old Afghan girl who was forced to marry and then was tortured. Fortunately, some sought justice.
“One of the biggest problems with pastors is their lack of self-awareness and inadequate relational abilities.”
This quote caught my attention.
I was reading a transcript of a presentation given by Dr. Rod Wilson, president of Regent College. The presentation was entitled “Why Emotional Intelligence Is Missing in So Many Churches and Christian Institutions.” In the message Wilson quotes a pastor who is on his denomination’s ordination board. Wilson says that if a person is intellectually bright, we often conclude that such intelligence will lead to a certain kind of behavior.
Of course, “We all know that intelligence, in the traditional sense of the word, is no guarantee of emotional strength and appropriate behavior.” Churches and ministers have seen this again and again. A person may be highly intelligent but particularly inept in relating to people.
Good leaders need what Daniel Goleman refers to as “emotional intelligence.” Consider the two categories often used to describe emotional intelligence.
Personal competence – This involves self-awareness and self-managment. Do I have a sense of who I am? Do I have an awareness of my wounds or vulnerabilities? Am I aware when I am lonely or angry? Do I have a sense for my patterns of behavior when I am tempted to make poor, unethical or immoral decisions?
Social competence – This involves an awareness of what is happening in relationships. It is social awareness. Do I have a sense for how I am coming across to people in a one-on-one setting or in a group meeting? Do I tend to say what is appropriate? Am I often surprised by how others perceive me in conversations?
Far too many ministers pay little attention to their emotional intelligence.
One of the greatest resources that you and I have at our disposal is our attention. There are many demands for our attention. Yet, every day far too many of us squander this valuable resource due to our own distraction.
We have difficulty giving our full attention to what really matters and being fully present in the moment. Many of us skim along the surface of most any experience, like a bass boat speeding down a river. We are in perpetual motion but our lives never get beyond the surface of the moment.
Consider what clamors for our attention:
- A text appears on your phone.
- You have a new e-mail message.
- The phone rings.
- Someone wants to Skype.
- You are invited to be a member of a committee.
- Your child is invited to be on a team.
- You see a new Tweet from someone who interests you.
- Your friend updates her Facebook status and you want to respond.
- You watch television and are bombarded with advertisements.
Each day, somebody somewhere wants your attention. If you are not intentional about where you direct your attention, others will likely get your attention simply because you are living passively instead of proactively.
Recently, I was at Regent College and had the opportunity to hear Dr. Rod Wilson one evening. Rod Wilson serves as the President of Regent and is also Professor of Counseling and Psychology. His talk was helpful, informative, and encouraging.
The video is from another talk in which he discusses humility and leadership. His words are helpful in thinking about what it means to have a healthy sense of self in a Christian context.