Marriage can be challenging. Yet, sometimes we put additional pressure on ourselves by taking on responsibilities that are not ours.
For example:
You are not responsible for your spouse’s moods.
Some men and women are very emotionally immature. Some are moody and emotionally manipulative. These people may even blame their emotional moods on their spouse. “I was in a great mood until you spoiled it!” Yet, no one is responsible for another’s mood or attitude. You cannot “fix” another’s moods.
You are not responsible for keeping your spouse from getting upset.
Some people attempt to punish their spouses when they become upset. A spouse may learn that she has to be very careful or her husband will become upset and explode with rage. As one woman said, “I have to be very careful about what I say to my husband. He becomes angry and I know I am in trouble.” As a result, the family tiptoes around this man’s feelings and immaturity.
You are not responsible for keeping your spouse from withdrawing emotionally.
One of the regrets I have in my own marriage (especially in the early years) are the times when I withdrew emotionally from my wife. I would become angry or frustrated and instead of dealing with it in a mature, godly manner, at times I would withdraw. Of course that behavior was frustrating to my wife. My behavior was not mature nor was it right. Nevertheless, she could not be responsible for keeping me from this kind of behavior.
You are not responsible for making your spouse look good.
Some people are far more concerned about projecting a particular image than they are in becoming a person of maturity and high character. Instead of behaving in a way that would please God, they focus more on looking good in front of particular people. How they appear to others on Facebook may matter more than how they are really living before the Lord God when they are at home.
Marriage can be challenging. As men and women, we do have responsibilities when we marry. However, we cannot bear responsibilities that belong to our wives or husbands. Doing so only adds unnecessary pressure to a marriage.