1. Put some energy and intentionality into you marriage. Like your finances, constant withdrawals with few deposits doesn’t end well. Being passive, while sitting in your emotional recliner, will bring a slow death to a marriage that could have been so much more. Think of what you might have missed!
2. This is a very anxious time in our culture (to say the least). We are dealing with a health crisis, a financial crisis, and a social crisis. All of these are intense. If we are not careful, we can allow our own anxiety to infect the very relationships that are so important to us. What if you and I were committed to building homes with less anxiety and more calmness. What if you and I were committed to creating an environment at home that is a respite from this very anxious world. I can certainly begin this by looking at my own behavior and tone at home. What a great investment this can be!
3. I invest in my marriage when I speak to my spouse in a way that communicates that I value him/her. I remember once speaking sharply to Charlotte (allowing my anxiety over another situation to spill over). I remember thinking afterward, “Do you really think this brings God pleasure when he hears you talk to your wife this way? After all, she is God’s daughter.” It was important to apologize and not just move on.
4. Pray that you will cherish her/him. Do something that in some way communicates that you cherish your spouse. God certainly cherishes the one you married. At the end of the day, I know that God wants me to treat Charlotte right.
5. Focus on managing yourself, not her or him. You can only manage yourself. You can only manage your behavior, your attitude and your functioning. Far too many married people are waiting on their spouse to get it together. Meanwhile, Christ-followers make the first move. I need to first focus on being the kind of person that you would like to be married to. You can not fix him or her. You can’t make this person better. However, you can become the husband or wife you need to be. The bottom line in marriage is this, “Am I bringing God pleasure in the way I am behaving as a married person?”