One of the most important decisions you will ever make is deciding who you might marry.
It really is very important.
I don’t mean to imply that you must marry. I’m just saying that before you marry, know that who you marry is critical.
A few weeks ago, I was on Facebook and noticed that several couples were celebrating their anniversaries. I had performed the wedding for each one of these couples. In some cases, a lot of years have passed since these weddings.
I started thinking about my three grandsons (ages 3-9). What would I tell them if they were to one day ask me about marriage? I do think I might tell them the following:
*Marry someone who can be your spiritual companion. Far too many people marry potential instead of history. They think that one day he will be just what she hopes and dreams even though he is not there right now. So, some move ahead thinking it will all change once they marry.
*Marry someone for whom you do not need to make a lengthy explanation to justify your decision. Sometimes we make lengthy explanations in order to justify what might otherwise be a point of concern. Also, beware if you are hiding information about this person from the most godly and significant people in your life. Why would you not want these godly friends or mentors to know this or that about this person? Could it be that they might tell you what you don’t want to hear? Perhaps.
*Marry someone who will allow you to be transparent about him/her and about the relationship. Dysfunction often begins when a person wants you to hide truth from your parents, your friends, and from the most godly people in your life. Such people are sometimes more concerned about the way things appear rather than bringing out into the open the way things really are.
*Marry someone who (if you are blessed with children) will provide real spiritual leadership to your children. Will this person share in conversations with the most godly people you know about what it means to raise children who will love God, know Scripture, and serve others?
It will probably be a long time before these little boys marry. (We still have a lot of wrestling to do!) In the meantime, I think I will continue to enjoy the occasional “Happy Anniversary” Facebook posts from those whom I have known in the past. I will enjoy sweet and pleasant memories of talking with these couples in my office before they got married.
There are other important decisions in life. But choosing who you will marry is certainly near their the top.