Category: Relationships

Ask Questions That Communicate Value and Worth

I love to be with people who are curious. Curious people ask questions. One of the ways we show we care about and value another is to ask good questions. Perhaps you know this feeling. You are in a small group gathering (life group, elders’ meeting, staff meeting, etc.). You finally muster up enough courage… Continue reading Ask Questions That Communicate Value and Worth

3 Ways to Communicate High Value to Another

One of the great temptations is the desire for others to think you are a very important person. In fact, such a temptation can result in much effort being spent toward self-promotion. There are many subtle and not so subtle ways to communicate a sense of self-importance. Perhaps a person is a name-dropper. She wants… Continue reading 3 Ways to Communicate High Value to Another

Are You a Lover or a Manipulator?

The truth is that some manipulate and others love. Manipulators are not loving people because love is not on their agenda. Their agenda is control. Some observations about manipulators: 1. Manipulators can be the elephants in the middle of the room who are ignored, but after a while they are not even seen. It is… Continue reading Are You a Lover or a Manipulator?

Marriage 101 (Where Do You Learn How to Be Married?)

Marriage can be difficult, in particular, when you have never seen a healthy marriage up close. Yet, this is the situation in which many young married couples find themselves. The couple, through no fault of their own, never had the opportunity to witness up close a healthy, godly marriage. I am referring to a marriage… Continue reading Marriage 101 (Where Do You Learn How to Be Married?)

“Just Tell Them That I’m Not Home” (Lies, Lies and More Lies)

I once called someone’s home and one of the children answered. I asked to speak to her mother. I could hear the mother in the background telling this child “Tell him that I’m not home. The child followed her mother’s instructions. I wonder what happens to the character of a child when parents teach this… Continue reading “Just Tell Them That I’m Not Home” (Lies, Lies and More Lies)

Do People Think of You as a Good Listener?

There is great potential for doing much good by really listening to another’s story. I was a young minister. He called late one afternoon. He was the manager of a popular restaurant in town. He asked if he could come by my office and talk. He arrived later that afternoon. I watched through the window… Continue reading Do People Think of You as a Good Listener?

Question: Why is It So Difficult to Find Real Friends?

(I haven’t posted in a few days. I have been at Abilene Christian University’s “Summit.” While there, I heard many good speakers and also met with a number of friends.) Lately, I have been thinking about the importance of being and having a friend. A real friend. I have been thinking about this as a… Continue reading Question: Why is It So Difficult to Find Real Friends?

“We Don’t Communicate?”

Some couples have great difficulty communicating and recognize what they do. Other couples have great difficulty communicating and just don’t see this. What makes this difficult for some of us is what we bring into our marriage. One person may come from a family that is open, engaging, and nurturing. Meanwhile that person’s spouse may… Continue reading “We Don’t Communicate?”

If I Could Say What I’m Really Thinking

Yesterday, Anne Jackson’s new book, Permission to Speak Freely arrived in the mail. Last night, I read the entire book. No, I don’t normally read an entire book in one evening. However, this book was different. Perhaps it was her raw honesty that kept me engaged. Maybe, I was captivated because I felt as if… Continue reading If I Could Say What I’m Really Thinking