Do You Ever Feel Lonely?

"Oh I have plenty of friends!"

Do you?  Perhaps you do.  Or, perhaps you really don’t.  In fact you might almost feel embarrassed at the small number of friends you really have.

If you are like many, many people,  you would like to have a few real friends.  Maybe you are kind of like the guy who was helping me check out books at a library.  He was the attendant that afternoon and was helping several people in line at the library.  He looked at a book I was checking out.  I don’t recall the title but it had something to do with friendship.  This middle aged man then said, "Now that’s what I need.  I think I need a few friends." 

Do you ever long for a friend?  Someone you can really talk with?  I suspect that at least some people might see a counselor (And I am thankful for good counselors) because they just don’t have anyone in their lives who they can really talk gut level with.

Loneliness is difficult.   And–it can leave you very vulnerable.  If you are like many, you may find yourself longing for connection with someone and instead do the following:

• You drink until you don’t feel the ache any more.
• You run to the mall, pull out the credit card, and feel a rush as you buy and buy.
• You connect with a person of the opposite sex.  Only–she/he is not your spouse.  You find yourself thinking about what could be…
• You turn on the computer and gaze at pornography.  In this make believe world, you feel like you are connecting.  But–it is only an illusion.

All of these can ultimately be very destructive.  Perhaps a more constructive way of dealing with loneliness might include the following:

• Take the initiative to call or write a friend who you haven’t seen in a long time.
• Do an act of kindness for someone.
• Look for an opportunity to deepen a relationship you have with a family member or relative.

Most of all, beware of illicit playgrounds.  For a few moments, they promise friends, connection, etc.  After awhile, however, such choices can only increase the intensity of the loneliness.  Better to trust the one–the only one–who has promised never to leave us or forsake us.