Some of us seem to live by the adage, “If I don’t talk about it, it is not real.” Or put another way, “If I don’t talk about it then maybe it will go away.”
Consequently we close our eyes and hope it will go away.
Have you known anyone like this?
1. The doctor gives a stern warning to a 40-year-old man, “You have cancer. This has to be addressed immediately.” The man later tells friends, “I won’t be going back to the doctor anymore. I’m not about to undergo those treatments.” Just close your eyes and hope it will be all right.
2. The woman says nothing to her husband who exhibits all kinds of suspicious behavior. In front of their friends, they talk about their fantastic marriage. Meanwhile, at home they sit in silence, rarely speaking to one another. Just close your eyes and hope it will be all right.
3. A couple gives the appearance to their friends of having a lot of money. To others their spending seems out of control. Frequent trips. Extravagant purchases. Regularly dining at expensive restaurants. The truth is that neither seems to be aware of their financial condition. Just close your eyes and hope it will be all right.
4. A young family is living a fast-paced life. Their young children are in a number of activities which call for a heavy time commitment which diminishes family time. They rarely eat a meal together anymore. Yet, mom and dad seem oblivious to what this pace of life might be doing to their family over the long term. They seem to think that if their children miss any of these experiences that they will somehow be lacking. Just close your eyes and hope it will be all right.
Have you known people like this?
I have found that when I ignore something in my life that isn’t right or that is a problem of some kind, it typically gets worse rather than better.
This is what I have found to be helpful.
1. Name the reality — Naming the reality moves you from denial to a place where you can begin to address this area of your life.
- “I have cancer.”
- “Our marriage is in trouble.”
- “We need to take a serious look at our finances. We are overspending each month.”
- “We need to examine the state of our family and see what adjustments need to be made.
2. Pray about the situation using language that is specific and that addresses this reality.
3. Consider the rewards (and not just the pain) of addressing these issues.
Question:
When are you most likely to default to something in your life with “Just close your eyes and hope it will be all right”?