Today is the day in which high school seniors are honored at church. Each year, this is always a big day. Lots of relatives and grandparents will be in the assembly. At one point, we will see pictures of these kids as they were growing up. Each one of them will receive a Bible. Today, Jamie is a part of that group. Gulp…
Of course, I am very proud of her. She was in kindergarden when we moved to Waco. Now she is graduating from high school. She has always been energetic and expressive. She has taught me a great deal through her generosity. She loves to give gifts and puts great energy and care into what she gives to other people. She has always had great compassion for older people and children. She has a heart for the poor.
Today represents change which is often bitter-sweet. Along with that comes excitement about the future and some anxiety as well.
I don’t worry a lot. I don’t think that I am generally an anxious person. Yet, there are other times when I feel anxious and insecure. There are times when the change that I am experiencing seems to trigger my anxiety. Often it involves imagining the future.
- Sometimes, I have feared growing older and having my health suddenly deteriorate. Will I get a dreaded disease and then die?
- At times, I have felt anxious as I imagined my girls needing my help and for whatever reason, I am not there to help them.
- There are times when I have felt some anxiety about my future and my ministry. What will I do with my life one day?
- I’ve worried at times about the future and finances. Will we be ok financially in the future?
- I’ve worried about my parents and their health. Thinking about who will care for them.
What helps me when this anxiety is triggered is to remember that my future (and the future of those who I care most about) rests in God. He takes care of birds, and lilies, and will certainly take care of those who were created in his own image (Mt. 6:25-34). No, his provision does not eliminate difficult, lonely times or even suffering. Yet, he will not abandon us and ultimatly, things will be all right.
God grants peace when we depend upon him in prayer (Phil. 4:5-7). He has promised never to leave us or forsake us (Heb. 13:5-6).
BUT, sometimes, it does seem like He places an awful big load on our shoulders….and sometimes, I know I have felt like I was abandonded; then, I remember He is there and so far, He has healed me through a detached retina and repair, ulcer and ultimately surgery, gallbladder surgery, cervical cancer (early stages and I was told I didn’t have to worry anymore about it) after a hysterectomy; depression; molestation by my dad in my early teens; a minor wreck, but now have memory problems which occured shortly after that wreck. After the ulcer surgery and problems with the bypass around the scar tissue not working right with a long hospitalization of 45 days, my husband brought a cartoon which was of a frog in the mouth of a crane who was trying to swallow him; the frog had the crane by the neck and it said: NEVER GIVE UP!!! So true…because GOD IS ALWAYS THERE TO GUIDE AND HELP US…IF WE LISTEN AND IF WE LET HIM!!!