Far too many of us think about dating and marriage as being all about “the spark.” A man looks into a woman’s eyes and he feels something. A woman glances at a man in a restaurant and her heart races. Some believe that this is how you find your spouse. You have to feel the chemistry first, or you are looking at the wrong person. Such a shallow and superficial view of dating (and ultimately marriage) is a dead end street.
Followers of Jesus who date and ultimately marry understand that marriage is a covenant and a serious commitment. Yes, loving one another is very important. However, solid joyful marriages are built on character and promise keeping. If you have not yet married, ask yourself, “Is this person intentional about growing in godly virtues? What about truth-telling, patience, fidelity, and a commitment to trust and obey the Lord Jesus?”
I heard not long ago about a husband who walked out on his wife when he learned that she had aggressive cancer. He said to his wife, “I didn’t sign up for this.” Meanwhile, I can tell you of a number of husbands and wives who love and adore one another and who have shared tough times together. Their marriages are not based on a “spark” or special chemistry. Rather, they have dared to travel together choosing what is deep and lasting rather than settling for how the world might define a marriage.
This reminds me to be serious about growing in godly virtues and to be a person who, by the grace of God, will keep my own marriage covenant.