The following post was written by guest writer, Trey Morgan. Trey is a husband, a father of four boys, and a minister in Childress, Texas. He has a very good blog and has especially written some good posts regarding marriage and family. You can read more from Trey on his blog which you can find here.
When it comes to marriage, Lea and I struggle with the same things you struggle with. We often find ourselves taking one another for granted for the sake of less important things. Things like busyness, ministries, work and hobbies will always crowd a marriage for time, but I think the biggest challenge for any marriage, including ours, is balancing marriage and raising children. This is especially a struggle when you have young children.
I firmly believe that the ONLY thing that should be more important than your marriage is your relationship with God. Raising your children should be of the utmost importance, but not to the degree that you put your relationship with your husband/wife on the back burner. One couple recently said this about their marriage, “We don’t have a marriage. We have a business. We make money, pay bills and raise kids, period.” How sad!
I’m amazed at how many people justify putting their marriages on the back burner for their children’s sake. If you invest all your energies into your children and none into your marriage, your marriage will struggle to survive when the kids are grown. What happens is, once the kids are grown, you’ll look across the table at your marriage partner and realize you really don’t have anything in common anymore.
So to keep your marriage happy and healthy, you’re going to have to be willing to invest time in it. Finding time to reconnect in your marriage is healthy. Lea and I strongly feel that raising our boys takes lots of time and energy, but not to the point that we lose the healthiness of our marriage. We personally feel that we must reconnect regularly for our marriage to remain healthy. Sometimes we reconnect in our marriage by simply …
• Making time a couple of times a week to go for a 30 minute walk together.
• Going on a date once a week and trying to talk about things other than just the kids.
• Calling home from work just to say “hello.”
• Spending twenty minutes at a Sonic drive-up just to talk.
• Having lunch together.
• Going grocery shopping together.
• And it’s very healthy when we can occasionally spend a night away somewhere or have a whole weekend away.
Our children are SO important in our lives, and we should be investing a ton of time into the ministry of parenthood. But our children also need to see their parents display a healthy marriage, and for that to happen it takes investing time. That’s why finding ways to reconnect is so important.
Question:
What has been important to you in reconnecting in your marriage?