Most of us who are parents have asked this at one time or another.
Last weekend I was in Waco, Tx. where we lived for 20 years. During those years, I served in a church. Yet, probably the most difficult job Charlotte and I had was raising children. Last weekend, I remembered numerous conversations that I had with people about raising children. Much of the time, younger people were asking me or Charlotte questions about their children. Often it was a question which went something like this, “What do I do?” Sometimes we were asking those older than us the same question, “What do I do? (I am grateful to Bob and Laura McGilvrey, Tom Catchings, Bill Petty, Roberta Robinson and others who were on the receiving end of some of those questions.)
A few suggestions:
1. A good parent is a learner. A good parent seeks out the wisdom of others. I would suggest seeking out the wisdom of those who have already been down that trail. Write down what they share with you. When others recommend a good book, website or resource person, write down the details.
2. A good parent looks for ways to deal with problems besides yelling and screaming. Yelling and screaming often results when parents just don’t know what to do. Yet, yelling is not taking action. It is not giving a child consequences. Often, yelling makes parents feel like they are taking action when so often they are just threatening.
3. A good parent hustles and searches for options. Read a parenting book! Talk to the school counselor. Ask for the advice of someone older who has already reared children. Find a helpful website. Relentlessly search for possible ways of handling the situation.
4. A good parent responds instead of reacts. Yes, I know this can be difficult. However, our reactions can often be impulsive and rash. (“You are grounded for the next 97 days! No television for a year!).
5. A good parent prays, prays, and prays. Parenting is more than prayer but it is at least that. It dawned on me one day when my children were small, if I am not praying for my children, who is?
Being a parent can be hard — very hard. Yet, you and I can do this by the grace of God, learning relentlessly, praying fervently, and surrounding ourselves with a few wise people to whom we will really listen.