6. My behavior in my marriage may impact several generations. This is so true! Paul spoke of the faith that first appeared in Timothy’s grandmother Lois, then in his mother Eunice, and now in Timothy himself (2 Timothy 1:5). Do you have stories in your family about certain relatives? Maybe stories are told about the devotion of your great-grandparents to one another in the middle of the depression.
There may be stories about negative behavior in marriage. I once had a relative who was alone as long as I could remember. I asked about this woman and if she had ever been married. This was the answer I received: "She was married for a few years but her husband left her with two small children. She never married again." The story continued. The son grew up and became a rascal as well. No–it doesn’t have to be that way. However, it is true that positively or negatively, marriages can impact generations.
7. God is concerned that we grow in Christ-likeness in marriage. This is the theme of the excellent book by Gary Thomas entitled, Sacred Marriage. Marriage is not just about my happiness. God uses marriage to bring about our holiness. Through marriage (as through all of life) God works to re-create us in to Christ-like people.
8. Marriages could be greatly improved if husbands/wives would choose to cherish one another. I remember having to face this some years ago in my marriage with Charlotte. Yes I was faithful to her. Yes I was decent to her and provided for her. However, I was not cherishing her. Basically, I was taking for granted the gift God had given me. It was more than a marriage issue. It was an issue in my relationship with God. I eventually became aware that I was not treating this gift right.
9. Your spouse can never provide complete fulfillment. Only God can provide complete life satisfaction. How many marriages have experienced unnecessary pressure as one spouse insisted that the other was to make her/him "happy."
10. Some married people have expectations that are far too low. Others have expectations that are unrealistic. Maybe his parents just co-existed in their marriage. Perhaps her parents had a marriage centered around the children. Perhaps these parents just "rocked along." Now the children are married and have certain expectations about marriage. Such expectations can be far too low.
On the other hand, marriage is portrayed today in some quarters with such high expectations that any normal human being is sure to be disappointed. If the expectations are unrealistic, the couple is likely to feel disillusioned.
These ten truths about marriage are only a beginning. Perhaps you can add your own.
During our pre-marital counseling with you (4 years ago!), one thing that really stayed with me was #9. I have to remind myself of that often, and it always helps when I do by taking some of the pressure off of eachother.