Imagine forming your own personal advisory group for the sole purpose of helping you with your life.
Suppose you could spend an evening with seven to ten people who would then become your personal advisory group. These people might serve to lead, guide, and basically help you as you move through life. Imagine having the opportunity to learn from these people.
Now think about selecting this imaginary group. There are no limitations. These people can live nearby or far away. Don’t worry about the logistics of getting these people together. After all, this is imaginary. Now choose each person based upon some particular aspect of your life that you need to address. Some examples:
Your marriage. Who would you like to have on this personal advisory group because of what you might learn about marriage? Whose marriage do you especially admire?
Your money. Who could teach you financial stewardship? Who do you admire for the way they handle their money? Who continually uses their money to help people or to fund other good causes?
Your time. Is there a person you know who is living a rich, full life at 70? Is there a person at that age who seems to epitomize the way you want to be at 70? What person at that age continues to mature in Christ?
Your encouragement. Who encourages you? Who continues to build you?
Your walk with God. Who has a relationship with God that you admire? Have you noticed this person continues to stay fresh and alive in Christ while others get stale? What is this person doing? (Yes, I know that if you are a Christ-follower, you do not separate the other concerns above from your walk with God. I am just focusing on a particular emphasis.)
Your attitude. What person do you admire because of their attitude?
The point? We can learn from others. I find it very helpful to imagine such a group in my life. (I suspect that some actually have formed such a group.) These seven to ten people are men and women from whom I can learn.
Now think about an evening with this group. The subject? Your life. Think about what you might ask these individuals. Think about what they might say to you regarding particular aspects of your life.
Who are a few people you would want in your personal advisory group? Parents? Friends? A Christian author? Someone you have admired at a distance? Who have you admired?
I think in a way I’ve done that for several of those areas, but individually… I’d be really keen to see what would happen if I got all those people in the same room at the same time?!
Ideally, this would be body ministry in a healthy, Spirit-gifted, community of faith! But if not, still a very needed community surrounding anyone.
Yikes! I don’t know if I’m ready to expose myself in a fashion that would be necessary for me to be evaluated in such a manner. That requires so much trust and the giving up of so much control. I’d love to see it happen, but I’d also like those people to forget everything we discussed as soon as the meeting was over.
This provokes a lot of different thoughts and feelings. I have been reluctant to identify wise people AND invite them into my life, afraid for them to know me that well, afraid to hear what they might say. Short term, it’s so much easier to stay to myself and imagine that I’ve got it all together. Dealing with people is just so messy. So I’m very thankful for the people who went past the flashing yellow lights and stop signs I built, and approached me. Once they did only that, they had my attention and respect.
Emma,Like you, I have done something like this with several people. I do wonder what an evening might be like if they were in the same room and there was one focus.
Greg,Right! In fact there are probably some other ideal factors which I left out. But you are so right.
Frank,I appreciate what you said. Your honesty and candor about this is very refreshing. Occasionally, I have thought, "If you really knew me (maybe thinking about some friend or aquaintance), you would probably be very disapponted). Like you I am thankful for those who approached me anyway.
Brad,You bring up an imporatant word for most of us.Control.This is something I have to deal with as well.
My group would be chock full of seasoned minister’s wives! (Not all married to the same one, but you knew that already)Somewhere I picked up the idea that a healthy Christian Walk involved three people: 1 person who is teaching you and mentoring you, 1 person who is at the same place you are, and 1 person that you are encouraging. Obviously we are at various places in our faith along the way, but this simple equation has served me well thus far.
Jim,
I think of a healthy community as one where all those issues can be addressed, but not so much in an evening–life never is that easy–ut in the ordinary moments of Spirit-filled togetherness (at Starbucks, small group, bible discussion group, lunch or dinner, hospital room, foyer of a funeral home, at a ball game or on the golf course, a late night phone call, a service project, etc., etc.).
I guess my point is that we already have a board of experts in our lives and we don’t need a formal appointment to gain access to their wisdom. But we do have to share community. That’s the hard part–just being together. And it’s hard because a healthy community will not stand for me being a taker. Community means knowing and being known–not just knowing. God will use us all to add something to the shared wisdom of His family. We’ve stepped into Christ, a place of mutual unmasking, not just so that everyone else can see what a goof I am, but so that the other can get a bit of grace from what ever bit of Christ the Spirit is creating in me.
Ben
Ben,Good piece on the value of community. You express this quite well.