Parents have a way of feeling guilty. Well, that’s not exactly right. Maybe I should say, many conscientious parents feel guilty. We parents are good at guilt. We read a parenting book and we see what we should have done a few years ago. We feel guilty. Actually, parents feel guilty for all kinds of things.
I feel guilty. I should have gotten our son help with his reading years ago. I just kept telling the teachers that there was not a problem.
I feel guilty. I should have insisted my young daughter see a counselor for her depression. She probably would have gone.
I feel guilty. My husband and I divorced when the kids were in junior high. I kept telling myself they were OK. They weren’t.
I feel guilty. My son kept telling me he wasn’t feeling well. I just didn’t realize it was something serious. When we took him to the Dr., she asked me why we waited so long to bring him in.
I feel guilty. I was going through some tough depression when my daughter was in high school. At a time when she needed me, I didn’t have anything to give.
On and on it goes. We parents can feel guilty about most anything. Certainly, if we have wronged someone-if we have wronged our children-it is appropriate to recognize our guilt. However, for a Christian parent to continue to wallow in guilt is to live in defeat.
We only leave defeat when we yield to God’s love. When we release our failures to God, he will display his grace. He will forgive.
There was only one perfect parent and he is the Father. The rest of us need to receive his grace and trust his forgiveness. We will then be set free from defeat to enjoy his gift of real life.
Jim, Just wanted to take a minute to let you know how much I enjoy your blog. This one particularly resonated with me (“Tired of Feeling Guilty?”). Ever since my divorce, whenever one of my kids has a problem, my default position is to look back throught their childhood to see where I messed up and caused the particular problem which is now in evidence. Divorce is such a BIG failure and it’s all too easy to allow your life ever after to be colored by that. I have to deliberately stop and remind myself that God is in control, not me, and tell myself to get over it already! The thoughts you shared were helpful in this and I thank you!