I have been a minister for many years. Literally, every week, I am in conversation with ministers. I have noticed that the best ministers I know do three things really well.
First, good ministers look for the kernel of truth in any criticism. Most of us probably do not like to hear anyone who might be critical of something we’ve said or done. I once asked a minister a question regarding feedback. As I recall, I asked him how he was processing the feedback he was getting in his congregation. He said, “Oh I don’t ask them for feedback. I don’t want to hear anyone’s criticism.”
Yet, we may be too quick to dismiss any sort of criticism. I once heard Gordon McDonald reflect on the subject of criticism. He spoke of the value of looking for the kernel of truth in someone’s criticism. I may not like a person’s words or tone but I may find a kernel of truth in even some of the most difficult criticism. This kernel of truth can actually be helpful to me.
Second, good ministers pay attention to process. Some ministers, however, pay little if any real attention to process within their churches. Consequently, they fall back on methods that are worn out and clunky, such as relying on their favorite elder to do their bidding. Other ministers will randomly announce a sermon series, thinking that if they can just say it over a period of six weeks, the situation will be different. Often this is the default next step for a minister who just doesn’t know what to do.
Third, good ministers are serious about their own growth. Some ministers may be serious about growth in particular areas. For example, a minister may be really focused on being more informed about New Testament studies, various theological concerns, or reading books regarding spiritual formation. Yet, this same person may continue to frustrate others with his anger and rage. It is very important that a minister address what might be a blind spot. This might mean considering some resources for growing spiritually and emotionally to address behaviors that are interfering with one’s relationships.
Ministers, in particular, need to pay attention to spiritual growth, emotional maturity, and have a willingness to learn from others. Unfortunately, some ministers have bloated egos that get in the way of learning and growing. Some will give a polite nod to the need for growth. However, what some of them seem to project is, “I am willing to learn and grow from anyone who seems to be ahead of me in my “list” of the most important preachers and church leaders. In other words I am willing to learn from those who are ahead of me in the pecking order of important ministers.
Yet, in reality, we can learn from so many people if we will open our hearts and minds. We may actually be cutting ourselves off from the very people from whom we could learn so much.